Does Your Man Have a Wandering Eye?

Six foolproof ways to keep his gaze locked on you

Dear Monica,Whenever my husband and I go out it seems like he has a roving eye. What do you suggest to bring him around? —R.G., Lafayette Hill, PA

The trick to solving the classic roving eye dilemma is to have him so enthralled with you that his eye can see no further. Take him back to the day when you were the woman that caught his roving eye. Here is a punch list which will make him lock eyes with you only…

  • Shop for sexy, stunning outfits. If you’ve got it flaunt it! The simple math behind this one is: cleavage=attention. Can’t explain why. It’s just the way they’re wired.
  • A little physical contact is also a time-tested method that yields results. Those high-heeled Louboutins are not just for show. They are great for playing footsie under the table.
  • Be intimate with him before you hit the social scene. This may dial back his libidinous urges some. Not only will he have a smile on his face, but probably he’ll have a little less get up and go from his sex hangover (unless he is on a Viagra jag).
  • Whispering in his ear what you’d like to do to him upon your return home will definitely keep his eyes wide open and straight ahead.
  • Give him attention during the party like bringing him his favorite drink. Also make sure to be conversant with the people around him, even if you are bored to tears. This may sound like it is taken from an episode of Mad Men, but it works.
  • Don’t be defensive or insecure about your guy. Understand that men are visual and take this all with a grain of salt. Make sure that you continue to put effort into your relationship. Just because you are married does not mean that you should not try your best and look your best.

Can a married man innocently check out a room of beautiful women? Sure he can. Just because you own a horse does not mean you can’t watch the race. In your heart you know there is a big difference between enjoying the view and oogling. At the end of the day, for your relationship to truly work, you have to trust that he only has eyes (and hands) for you.

Note to guys… Okay to look. Don’t hold the stare.

Note to girls… Hopefully all these tips will resolve your situation and you won’t have to resort to juvenile behavior, like flirting with other guys to drive the point home.

The Philly Post: Yeah. That's What We're Talking About

Sex with the Lights On or Off?

Plus: How to deal with a verbally abusive boyfriend

Posted on 9/17/2010 at 8:30AM
Text Size: A | A | A

Dear Monica,
My girlfriend will only have sex with the lights off. I like the lights on. How can I get around this? —J.J., Wynnewood

Hmmm, sex with the lights on? That sounds romantic. Are you her lover or her gyno?

Hopefully her need to be in the pitch black is not insecurity about her body, or worse yet, a sign that she is not into seeing yours with such clarity. I can understand that you don’t always want to do it in the dark. It’s like having to do it in the same position all the time. Having said that, you need to set the mood. The harsh light from a lamp is not going to improve your odds of changing up the routine. What you need to do is slowly introduce candles, dim lights or curtains drawn if it is during the day. Offer compliments about how great she looks and say you want to see her during the act. Making her feel at ease and loved will smooth the way. If things are going well she should be so taken by your technique that the lighting is the last thing on her mind.

Dear Monica,
I have been dating a guy for over a year and he has become increasingly argumentative and even verbally abusive. What should I do? —S.D., Mt. Laurel

You should break up with him yesterday. The dating period is when people normally are on their best behavior. This is the time to court, romance and woo your partner. If he can’t control himself now, it ain’t going to get any prettier when you are barefoot and pregnant. Clearly, he is not just insecure about himself, but also has anger management issues that have yet to be resolved. Although some may turn to therapy to try to help the relationship, the fact is, he has peeled back the veneer and these are his true colors. Run like the wind! Find someone who can treat you with love and respect.

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles.  Please send your questions to: [email protected]