The Checkup: ‘Sobriety’ Pill Could Let You Drink Without Getting Drunk

I can almost hear the frat boys of the world tapping a celebratory keg.

• Happy almost-weekend! I couldn’t have timed today’s top story any better if I tried: Researchers are busy working on a drug that could allow you to get drunk without actually getting drunk. Let me explain. They’re using a chemical derived from a Chinese raisin tree that has been used in China for centuries as a hangover cure. In a lab, they’ve tested the chemical on drunk rats and found it to be super effective in speeding up sobriety (as in, these rats are going from falling-down-drunk to stone-cold-sober in five minutes, people); eliminating hangover symptoms; and, over time, even curing alcoholism. Obviously the downside of such a drug is that, if it’s proven to work in humans, it could actually lead to more drinking—and since I’m assuming the drug can’t reverse liver damage, that’d be a bad thing. Also, if you didn’t have to worry about a hangover, I bet you’d drink one (or three) more martinis, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought. But what do you think? Sobriety pill: blessing or curse?

• Shhh, don’t tell our friends over at Bridal Bulletin about this study, which found that married people aren’t any more or less happy than people who cohabitate without ever tying the knot. Turns out, legal status has little bearing on the happiness factor of a relationship.

This is shocking to me: New data shows that 1 in 5 (!!) American adults suffers from a mental illness. If you’re counting, that’s 46 million of us. And the majority are among people between the ages of 18 and 25.

Bonus read: I know I usually only give you three headlines, but I just had to share this essay from the New York Times about a writer’s newfound love affair with Zumba. I was three paragraphs in before I bothered to look at the byline. When I realized the writer is a guy, the piece suddenly became a lot funnier.