Wedding Planners Confess: Here Are Their 15 Pet Peeves

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I read this post on Bustle the other day, and chuckled to myself in a it’s-funny-cause-it’s-true kind of way: wedding planners have to deal with a lot in order to get your day off without a hitch—a lot of personalities, logistics, obstacles, you name it—but in the end, they do deal with it all because they love it. They want your day to be awesome, and they want to be the ones to help make it awesome.

But that doesn’t mean it’s all fun and games and giggles on the way to that awesome day, and it got me thinking about what aspects of planning a wedding and working with couples and their families drive Philly’s very own fabulous wedding planners insane. So I asked! And they unleashed.

We’ve touched on this subject before—and because I always think a little bit of behind-the-scenes real talk is some of the best advice engaged couples can get—here, readers, are the things that make your planner silently wonder why on earth they ever decided it’d be fun to plan other people’s weddings. Know them that you might not fall into the type of behavior that gets you labeled as that client:

• Couples who don’t know how to tell their mom to butt out; when we’re at a meeting and the couple has made solid decisions—and mom comes in and changes the color palette, or something else major, and they look to me to tell mom that that is not what they want.
• Please don’t barter with me for price. This is my job, my livelihood, my expertise. My prices are fair and what you get with my services far outranks most “packaged” deals. Please, brides, understand what a wedding planner is and understand that this is not a hobby.
• I cannot stand when a bride, or her mother, has a copy of the timeline that we created for them in their hands the entire wedding day. We send out the timeline in advance to the client so they can read it through and relax knowing we have it covered. It’s frustrating because they have hired us to execute their day so they do not need to worry, yet they micromanage every line on the timeline throughout the day. Drives me crazy!
• Keep the beer bottles away from your face! There is nothing worse than a bride with a Miller Light bottle held in her hand and around her face the entire night. I actually had a photographer come to me half way through the night once to ask if I would approach the bride and ask her to put the bottle down for a few minutes because every single photo he took of her had a beer bottle in the frame.
• My peeve is actually about vendors: when they completely ignore my efforts to communicate and plan logistics before a wedding. It’s remarkable to me that vendors ignore calls, emails, and show up unprepared or underprepared for events. We create the timeline to keep all parties on the same page, and it’s essentially impossible to do that (and always slows the day down) when a vendor won’t participate in the planning process ahead of time. It’s not meant to make us the “divas” of the day—but rather, the opposite. It’s meant to facilitate a smooth and happy wedding day for all, including the wedding team.
• When I don’t get the information I have requested from the couple! This can be anything from requesting a copy of a contract, the guest list in alphabetical order and by table, or any other number of items.
• When a couple surprises me with something. I once had a bride who told me on the Thursday before her Saturday wedding that she had just ordered chair covers—which she had never mentioned—and wondered, after they were delivered the morning of the wedding, who would bring them to the venue? Who would steam them? Who would put them on and tie the sashes? Who would take them off the chairs at the end of the reception? And how would they get back to the supplier? A wedding planner does magic, but not this kind!
• Bride and grooms who want a five-minute ceremony so they can “get to the party.” The ceremony is the whole point of the day. It is a live performance that deserves attention and thought.
• When I guide my clients and give them reputable vendors that are a perfect fit for them—and then they decide on someone else, hate their work the day of the wedding, and I never hear the end of it.
• When the opinionated maid of honor attends all vendor/planning meetings with the couple as “support”—but really just so she can give her two cents on how the wedding should be.
• A mother-of-the bride who doesn’t care what the bride wants because she is paying for the wedding.
• Seating not being finalized until the last minute! Not having a final table count effects multiple areas: calligraphy and print pieces, florals and linens for tables, and the overall layout of the entire floor plan.
• When a bride is so stressed out on her wedding day (even when everything is going very well!) that she is rude or snaps at both her bridal party and the professionals, including me!
• Nothing worse than a bride who hires you for your experience and then tries to micromanage every aspect of the planning process. There’s a natural timeline that occurs when planning a wedding a year or two out. Trust the experts!
• When a client asks for my sage advice … and then doesn’t listen to it.

Preach.

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