Here Is One More Reason I Hate Those Hervé Léger Bandage Dresses

And also men who try to tell you what to wear.


No, no, no and no. | Everett Collection.

It’s no secret that I reserve a special place in the blackest part of my heart (where I stow away hatred for things like olives, cilantro and John Mayer) for Hervé Léger bandage dresses. It doesn’t matter how fantastic the body is beneath those seatbelt-like strips of fabric, how beautiful the wearer, how the dress is styled. I think even Kate Middleton, of the shiny princess hair, classic beauty and smart-looking wrap dresses, would look like an over-tanned, cheesy Real Housewife in one of these dresses. And she’s a duchess.

Now, finally, I feel vindicated in my hatred, as it’s come out that the (now former) UK director of Hervé Léger, Patrick Couderc, would actually prefer that many of the women who wear the second-skin dresses, well, don’t. In a recent interview, Couderc told the Daily Mail that the following women should not wear bandage dresses: 

  • “voluptuous” women
  • women with “very prominent hips and a very flat chest”
  • “committed lesbians” (After all, he said, these women “would rather be butch and leisurely.” Huh. Guess he hasn’t ever heard of Portia de Rossi.)
  • older women who try to display “everything like they’re 23”

Sure, one person isn’t the mouthpiece for an entire brand (and Hervé Léger’s parent company, BCBGMAXAZRIA Group, has issued an official statement concerning the issue), but I feel good knowing that, hell, Couderc didn’t want me wearing his dresses any more than I wanted to be wearing them. So at least we’re on the same page.

Only now I kind of want to wear one. I want to wear one without heels, makeup, Spanx or sucking in. Then I want to parade by Couderc in all my wide-hipped, flat-chested, 10-years-older-than-23 glory. Who’s with me?