Seeking a Dude Who’s 420-Friendly and Cool With Cockatoos for Studio Share
The disabled combat veteran looking for a new roommate currently has the six animal roommates above. Other things to know about him, according to his Craigslist ad:
* I swear like a God damn motherf**cking sailor.
* I store firearms in the house, as well as a ready supply of ammunition.
* I am a smoker. Not of cigars, not of cigarettes. Do the math.
Things he expects of a new roommate:
* You are NOT allergic to cats, dogs, or birds.
Well, yes. Absolutely.
* You do not lie, cheat, or steal, at least not from me.
* You do not bring random haggard untrustworthy women home every night of the week.
* You do not act like a five year old and throw temper tantrums, under any conditions.
* You do not bring shady people, male or female, that you know nothing about home, ever.
* You are not like my last roommate, who absolutely did ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED THINGS.
Oh, and one more thing: This dog has been traumatized by children, so…
…my pit bull is very uneasy around kids and will not put up with their shit. This is due to being attacked by a small child when he was a puppy. The attack created a psychological complex about small kids.