There Was a Wedding Last Night on the Premier of Bachelor in Paradise

The most glorious time of summer has come, readers—the time when ABC so nicely fills our boring Monday nights, when all we want to do is wallow in the horribleness of Mondays on our couch with a glass of wine, with the most perfect entertainment: Bachelor in Paradise!

Last night’s premier delivered all of the absurdity, cringe-worthiness and tears that we’ve come to expect from the franchise’s guilty-pleasure spinoff—and also, a wedding:

Lacy and Marcus, who we trust you watched get engaged after a days-long courtship at the conclusion of last season, tied the knot with a few of their friends and family standing awkwardly on one side of the rows of blanket-covered benches, while this season’s motley cast looked on from the other side. One can only hope that a larger number of their family and friends were waiting back at some fab resort with a fab reception about to take place. (And maybe even a reenactment of the ceremony where the people they know actually outnumbered the people they don’t know.)

If another “couple” gets engaged at the end of this seasons and Paradise ends up churning out more legally wed couples than the mothership show from whence it came, that, my friends, will be really something.

You’re watching, aren’t you?

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