How a Philly Mag Journalist Sued an Angry Facebook Commenter — and Won

Photo illustration by Jamie Leary/Getty Images

I have a thick skin. You have to if you decide to be a journalist, particularly these days, when the hatred and vitriol against the media is palpable, endemic, and fostered by some of the most powerful people in the world. You add to that the cesspool that is social media as well as the belief some people seem to have that they can say anything they want to say on social media and beyond with impunity, and, well, it’s not an easy job.

I’m called all manner of names and receive hateful emails, DMs and comments on a regular basis. My family and friends are always amazed how these things just roll off my back. Unlike most journalists, I actually respond to much of the negativity from readers, generally not with my own negativity but with probing questions in an attempt to start something approaching a meaningful and civilized dialogue. No, it usually doesn’t work. But sometimes it does. And sometimes readers are downright shocked when I respond. A few have become friendly acquaintances, even though we disagree about almost everything.

All that said, one reader, Ryan Joseph Nelson of Delco, took it one giant leap too far earlier this year. On January 31st, I published an article about a Black woman who filed a racial discrimination lawsuit against a restaurant at a Delco country club. The woman, who had worked at the restaurant, claimed that white workers routinely refused to serve Black customers and that she regularly was forced to listen to racist jokes. The Inquirer and other media outlets also reported on the case. (The suit settled over the summer with confidential terms.)

I shared the article on social media, including in a 44,000-plus member Facebook community group serving Delco. Some readers in that group commented in support of the woman. Others, not so much. Par for the course. But a series of comments from Nelson were anything but typical.

In those comments, he referred to me as a pedophile, a child molester, a kiddie diddler, a chomo (I had to look it up), a child groomer, and someone who is guilty of corruption of minors. It became clear in subsequent comments that he called me these things because he was aware of my other job, which is as pianist and manager for The Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret, a drag queen-fronted band that sells out venues like Union Transfer and the TLA and has been around for 20 years.

I gave Nelson the chance to clarify or retract his statements. Instead, he doubled down. Others started to pick up on the pedophile accusation that originated with Nelson. For instance, after I posted in a Delco group about Gordon Ramsey being spotted outside of a restaurant nearby, one reader commented, “Aren’t you the pedo guy?” This happened again and again.

Suddenly, I felt like a target, being called one of the worst things you can possibly call someone. I have children of my own. My wife is a nursery-school teacher. She also runs the youth group at the West Philadelphia church where we’ve been members for 20 years.

I began to wonder: What happens when this “Victor the pedo” notion crosses over from the online world to real life? What if I’m at a Delco bar watching a game (a not uncommon occurrence) and a believer of this fake news recognizes me? What then?

So I decided to take action, and called veteran Philadelphia attorney Jim Beasley. “Are you as sick as I am with people thinking they can say whatever they want on Facebook and get away with it?” I asked him during our initial chat. He said he was. And that was it. He was in.

In April, we filed suit against Nelson in Philadelphia’s Court of Common Pleas, accusing him of libel and defamation for the statements he made against me. When people heard about the lawsuit (the Inquirer and the Delco Times reported on it), some accused me of trampling on Nelson’s freedom of speech. The thing is, free speech doesn’t protect defamatory statements — that is, false statements about a person that are damaging to that person’s character. As both a journalist and a citizen, I am a huge defender of free speech — especially of speech I disagree with or find reprehensible — but in this case, free speech just doesn’t enter the picture.

Initially, Nelson said in messages that he was looking forward to defending his “opinions” in court. But he never did, even though he was given every chance to do so. He never responded formally to the suit in court, which meant that in June, I won my case by default.

Earlier this month, the case went before a judge at City Hall to determine what damages, if any, I should be awarded. Nelson was made aware of this hearing and had a right to show up for it but didn’t. My lawyer, Beasley associate Andrew Marth, asked me lots of questions, and I testified under oath. The judge also had his fair share of questions for me. And after a brief recess, the judge came back with his ruling: $35,000 in compensatory damages and $125,000 in punitive damages, for a total of $160,000.

Should I collect that money from Nelson, I’ll be making plenty of donations to various LGBTQ charities, so he knows his hard-earned money (he’s claimed in Facebook posts that he makes upwards of $4,000 per week) is going to causes he loathes. But even if I don’t, and if this ruling just makes people think twice about spewing lies about others on social media, it will all have been worth it.