Revealed: The Secret to Governor Wolf’s Family Stuffing Recipe!

You'll never believe what makes it taste so good. Or maybe you will.

So just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday, I got a link from Gov. Tom Wolf’s office with his family’s stuffing recipe. Stuffing is something that people tend to be particular about, and I was naturally curious what Wolf’s family would be stuffing in its turkey. The link gave me the answer: butter.

That’s right. Butter is the secret ingredient—and how—in this treasured family recipe.

Here it is, in full:

Governor’s Family Stuffing Recipe from Wolf and Donnelly Families

2 12-oz bags of bread cubes

2 – 3 onions, sautéed in butter

4 stalks of celery, sautéed in butter

1 cup of parsley, chopped

(2 Tbsp minced thyme optional)

Salt and pepper to taste

4 sticks of butter, melted

Mix all the ingredients together well. Taste and adjust if necessary, don’t skimp on the seasoning. Use for stuffing the turkey. Or spread in a buttered baking casserole and bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes or until warmed through and a bit crispy on top.

Look at this, people. This is how your state’s highest elected official will be treating his arteries on Thursday. Two 12-ounce bags of bread, enlivened by FOUR FREAKING STICKS OF MELTED BUTTER. That’s 24 ounces of bread to 32 TABLESPOONS OF BUTTER. More butter than bread in the Governor’s stuffing. Holy shit, I bet it is DELICIOUS!!!

As they say on TV, though, THAT’S NOT ALL, FOLKS!! There’s actually MORE butter than that in the recipe, since you’re also supposed to pre-sauté the onions and celery in butter—more butter—extra butter—before you mix it all up. Plus, if you’re one of those weird families that stuff their stuffing into a baking dish instead of into your turkey, you’re supposed to butter that! It’s butter-ific! Sweet buttery bliss! Governor Wolf’s butter-blessed family is gonna slide right out of their chairs!

If I can afford to, since butter is currently selling for $3.49 a pound at my Giant, I’m going to stir up the Governor’s Family Stuffing Recipe tomorrow. My husband and children will taste it and say, “Hot damn, Mom, that is the best stuffing you’ve ever made. How much butter is in there?”

“Four sticks and then some,” I’ll tell them proudly. “Aren’t you glad the Governor has expanded Medicaid?”

Follow @SandyHington on Twitter.