Philly Hummer Owner Gets Blasted in Anonymous Note From Neighbor

A cautionary tale on Earth Day.


A photo posted by Doug DeMuro (@dougdemuro) on

Fair warning: If you own a hideous, environment-killing, yellow Hummer in Philadelphia, your neighbor may anonymously leave a mean note on your car, call it an “eye sore,” and urge you to move it from the spot outside your house where you, quite reasonably, park it.

That’s what happened to author/columnist Doug DeMuro, who writes for Jalopnik, on Friday.

The note read, “This is not an appropriate parking spot for this huge vehicle. It blocks traffic, is an eye sore to the neighborhood and also blocks street vision. Please move it.” He posted it to Twitter:

His response?

I stood there. I read the note. And then I laughed and laughed like a small child who just witnessed a brightly-colored mascot fall down the stairs at a minor league baseball game.

The primary reason that I laughed is that the anonymous letter writer referred to my Hummer as an “eyesore to the neighborhood.” He is right, of course: my giant yellow Hummer sits there, all the time, outside my house, constantly reminding everyone that one of their neighbors probably attends the kind of event where people chant “Drill Baby Drill.” So I could see how this might be an annoyance.

But here’s the problem: I live in this young, hip neighborhood in Philadelphia that is… what I think we would call… developing. In other words: on one hand, you’ll have a guy throw out the box for his new subzero refrigerator. And then you’ll have a homeless person come by an hour later and take the box, so he can live in it.

As a result, this neighborhood is full of eyesores, all of which are every bit as offensive as my giant yellow Hummer.

So consider it fair warning, too, that if you write a nasty note without having the guts to sign it, you might get called out for it on the Internet.

Follow @HollyOtterbein on Twitter.