Ohio Prosecutor Seeks Death Penalty for Erroneous Punxsutawney Phil
Life, deliberately, or otherwise, is imitating art. Monday, the Onion ran a piece entitled “Punxsutawney Phil Beheaded For Inaccurate Prediction On Annual Groundhog Slaughtering Day.” Today, the Ohio Secretary of State released an “indictment” of the erroneous groundhog (he predicted spring; it’s still cold).
On or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog Day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future.
The offense? “Misrepresentation of Early Spring.” Recommendation? The death penalty. The prosecutor, who expects Phil to appeal, says that “When he betrays us like this, something has to be done.” Indeed. But can an Ohio prosecutor fake indict a groundhog for breaking a fake Ohio law committed unwittingly in Pennsylvania? Legal experts, let us know!
PDF of Indictment, H/T Morning Call