Giving Up the Kardashians in 2012

It’s that time of year, kiddies. Time to make all kinds of well-intended promises to ourselves that we sincerely hope we’ll keep—promises about losing weight and being kinder to obnoxious drivers on the expressway and ill-behaved children in the supermarket. We swear we’ll be nicer to the jerks who talk all through the movie and the ones who scoop the parking space you’ve clearly been waiting for with your blinker on. Yup, it’s that time of year to resolve to breath deeply and let the good karma spread all over our collectively anxious selves.

This year, in addition to my “usuals,” which perennially include cleaner language skills, less chocolate and more church, I’ve added a few more that seem to reflect back upon the tense year we’ve all had. Here goes:

In 2012, I resolve to never ever watch any more reality television. And if I should falter in this effort, I resolve to never let it be those damn Kardashians. If I should somehow flip to E! and they’re on (which, let’s be honest, is 24/7) I promise to flip to Animal Planet or History or Golf. And I don’t even play golf. It’s time to end the shamelessly embarrassing and pathetic train wreck that is the Kardashians.

As the presidential race heats up this year, I resolve not to watch any political ads. Since they will be insidious in months to come, this effort will require either watching no television at all or wearing my iPod while watching, at the ready to turn up the music as these horrible, nasty examples of poor behavior assault the flat-screen. They all say “the other guy” is a rotten, thieving, dishonest, blood-sucking criminal who deserves to be in jail or, even better, out of office. It’s a damn shame that a medium that should offer the electorate a source of information instead offers name-calling and distortion. And neither party has an edge on this loathsome behavior so I resolve to tune it all out.

Doom and gloom is so last year. I’m finished fretting over the economy that won’t improve and all the sadness and fear that goes along with it. We’ve been holding our breath since 2008 for the Big Recovery that just doesn’t come. So, in 2012, I resolve to stop holding my breath, to stop expecting some miracle to turn this malaise around and start facing the tough reality that this is what it’s going to be, folks, until we all stop complaining, and stop looking up to the heavens for manna to descend. Pessimism has become too weighty and burdensome. In 2012, I resolve to take stock of my blessings, add to the economy as much as I can and face the New Year with optimism. Oh, and lose weight, too.

Happy New Year, everyone.