Ditch The Yuletide Blues

Whether you're single or in a relationship, make the most of the winter festivities

Dear Monica: This time of year makes me cranky. I am not married and I’m not feeling the Yuletide vibe. How can I make it through these next couple of weeks without freaking out? — J.G. Roslyn
Whether you are single or in a relationship, this time of year is historically stressful. Shopping for gifts at King of Prussia Mall, baking the perfect festive dish and deciding where to spend the holidays can make anyone feel frazzled. Here is my survival guide to help you get into the holiday spirit.


  • Don’t mope around, call, or even think about your ex because you’re lonely. Enjoy all the fun the season has to offer. Attending an endless list of holiday parties and not having to stress over the “perfect gift” for a boyfriend should be reason enough to be thankful.
  • Don’t set yourself up for failure. Stay away from “adorable couple” hangouts such as the ice skating rink. Instead, throw singles-only parties and have everyone bring a friend. Spike the eggnog, put on your dancing stilettos and meet dozens of Philly’s most eligible. Yes, they are out there. Don’t be a Grinch!
  • Spend quality time with your female friends. Volunteer for a charity event with the girls or invite them over for a themed potluck dinner and a holiday movie. Plan a girls-only getaway and escape the holiday season with a ski weekend to the Poconos or a day in New York.
  • Have a “Me Day.” Splurge on a new hair style, get your nails done, head in for a massage. You’ll feel great about yourself and be ready to take on anything the holidays throw at you.
  • Reconnect. Write holiday cards to your family and friends. Let the people you love know you are thinking about them during this time of year. Get in touch with college pals and old colleagues. Old-fashioned snail mail will brighten their dreary winter days.


  • Be the adorable couple at the skating rink. Watch sappy Christmas movies while making hot chocolate and s’mores. Snuggle under the covers after a chilly night out. Share all of winter’s festivities with your special someone.
  • Take the stress out of chores. Wrap presents together while sipping eggnog. Play holiday music as you decorate your place. Let him help brainstorm gift ideas for those hard-to-buy-for family members. Everything is more fun when you do it with someone you love.
  • Plan a weekend escape. Whether you desire the warmth of Florida or a cozy bed and breakfast, clear a weekend to escape the shoppers and holiday madness to focus on each other. Short on funds? Pick a weekend and declare it a lockdown Philly retreat. Don’t leave your place. Bring the sexy back all weekend long!

Remember, single readers, we are only talking about a few weeks. January is just around the corner. An opportunity to make yet another fresh start! Hopefully with the right attitude, Santa will make his way down your chimney and make all of your Christmas wishes come true!

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles.
Please send your questions to: monica@selectivesearch-inc.com