How To: Get on the Right Financial Path

Another option to help ease the transition: Open a joint family account for bill payment, groceries and other household items, into which both you and your fiancé contribute a percentage of your incomes — but keep your own separate checking accounts. “If you already have a checking account and feel you own that money, keep the account,” says D’Andrea. “That way, you don’t have to tell your husband every time you get your nails done. And he doesn’t have to tell you every time he goes out for a beer.” Maintaining this level of financial independence, according to D’Andrea, helps each partner feel comfortable and empowered in the relationship.

But make sure to share the passwords to your individual accounts, which will help maintain and preserve trust. “Everyone should be aware of what accounts are open and how to access those accounts,” D’Andrea says.

4. STAY ENGAGED.
Even if you’re not quite married yet, you know how quickly couples can fall into certain roles in their relationship. “One person’s great at making dinner. One person does the laundry,” says D’Andrea. It’s no surprise, then, that it’s just as easy to slip into our respective financial roles: Maybe he pays the bills, and you’re the budget police. But D’Andrea can’t stress enough how important it is to avoid that type of routine: “It’s better if both people stay involved, so you’re both equally invested in your financial future.” The danger is that one person might become totally disengaged and lose sight of the goals you mapped out early on in your relationship. Which is why, after you’re married, Harper recommends sitting down with your spouse every couple of months and reassessing your finances. Her advice: “Ask each other: Are we paying bills on time? How are we doing with our budget? Do we need to make any changes?”

Dina and her husband Mike are well on their way to purchasing their first home, which Dina says wouldn’t have been possible without their open and honest discussion about their finances at the beginning of their engagement. “Getting married is such a big transition on its own, and the finance stuff is always going to be hard,” she says. “The earlier you can start, the better.”