Is It Cool to Break Up by Text?

Plus: What do guys mean when they say, "I'll call you"?

Hi Monica,
I have been dating someone for a few weeks, which is just enough time to know that she is not for me. Can I break up via a text message? — P.L., Devon

The answer is NO! Breaking up by text is just not nice. It is cold and cowardly. Be classy and direct about your feelings, but be kind. Call and tell her you have thought about it and that the relationship is just not working out. If you need an opener try, “I have gone over this in my mind and I think we want different things.” Or say, “We are in two different places.” Breaking up is not a mean thing to do. Quite the opposite, it gives both of you the opportunity to meet the right person. The method of communication that you use to break up is what she will remember you by. Be a gentleman about it.[SIGNUP]

Hello Monica,
Recently I went on three dates with an amazing guy. I thought things were going well. Conversation was easy and there was definitely a physical attraction on both ends. It has now been two weeks since our last date and no word from him. He left off with, “I’ll call you.” Is it okay for me to call him? — K.P., Center City

If you need to be “officially blown off” then go right ahead and call him. The “I’ll call you” line is a major red flag. When people are into each other, they do not let the date end without another plan. Clearly this guy is not interested. Two weeks is way too much time to be out of communication. If he felt the same way you did, he would have been in touch and pursued the relationship. The only upside to calling him would be to find out what went wrong. This would allow you closure and maybe provide some insight for future relationships. My best advise, go out and find the real deal.

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles.Please send your questions to: