On Tuesday, Prince Harry will be visiting Seaside Heights and Mantoloking, two towns that were torn apart by Hurricane Sandy. That’s a very nice gesture, and one that should raise spirits—or at least throngs of screaming women—for a town that’s been through so much in the last six months.
But let’s be real here: This is Prince Harry. Prince “Parties Naked in Las Vegas” Harry. The guy’s got some more touring to do.
Where should he go? Here’s how I’d set his itinerary if he could shake his security detail and head on down to Atlantic City—and then some.
First, he’ll need to prepare his stomach for the night ahead. That’ll mean a stop at the White House Sub Shop in Atlantic City, which itself was a Sandy victim. Their Trump Taj Mahal location opened up soon after the storm, but their iconic location on Arctic Avenue didn’t re-open until January. He’s only going to need a half size of White House Special Sub. It’s that big.
Then it’s off to Harry’s Oyster Bar at Bally’s—not only because his name’s on the sign—but because a few oysters never hurt anyone, and this more casual cousin of Dock’s Oyster House is the perfect spot for them. If it’s a nice day, he can sit outside to enjoy what used to be the Dennis Hotel courtyard for some good weather and a dash of Atlantic City history. Oh, and get a few bloody marys to go with those oysters. Trust me—it’s a perfect pairing.
But this is just a warm-up. Let’s put Harry onto a jitney (hopefully driven by @jitneyguy—Twitter followers ride free!) and roll him over to the Borgata for dinner at the Wolfgang Puck American Grille—because what says America more than a big ol’ rare steak at a restaurant with a celebrity chef’s name in the title?
Now, if this were a night between Thursday and Sunday, I’d pack Prince Harry off to Revel for a show at Ivan Kayne’s Royal Jelly, but he’s here on a Tuesday. Bummer. How about margaritas at Distrito Cantina instead? As bummed as I am that Revel is making changes to become more like other Atlantic City casinos (allowing smoking—really guys?), it’s still a beauty of a casino. Too bad it’s too cold for the outdoor pool to be open, too.
But never fear! Tuesdays pre-summer aren’t a dead zone in Atlantic City. That’s why I’d then get him down the boardwalk to Caesar’s for a night at Dusk, which has a Tuesday night party.
Still not ready to turn in? It’s over to the Ducktown Tavern, which is open 24 hours and has a 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. happy hour.
When all is said and done—perhaps with a sunrise viewing—where should he stay? Prince Harry, for you, you get the Alexander Suite at the Trump Taj Mahal, which is where the Donald used to stay. It still retains some of the 1980s over-the-top Atlantic City opulence—it has its own formal dining room, butler service, piano and Jacuzzi, plus knock-out ocean views.
So, the next morning. Sorry, Harry. I’ll make this up to you.
Let’s start by heading south on the island to Margate and hit the Wawa. Yes, the Wawa—another Hurricane Sandy victim. I know there was some controversy over the barrier island Wawas not being re-opened as soon as possible after the storm, but I’ve spent some time in England, and don’t think they have anything like it. There, I’d ply the Prince with one of their signature coffees. Then it’s over to see Lucy the Elephant. Because, why not? She’s as iconic at the Jersey Shore as Ferris wheels and boardwalks.
Since I’m going to assume Prince Harry’s stomach wasn’t up to a greasy sandwich at Wawa, I’d send him farther South to the Ocean City boardwalk. It’s much calmer here than in Atlantic City—plus he can go to Manco and Manco’s to see how Trenton-style pizza is made via saucehose. I still haven’t forgiven them for the name change, but that doesn’t affect the pizza.
And if he still has time, I’d have him hit up Jilly’s Arcade—specifically the back room where all of the classic video and pinball games are held. They also have skee ball, which is another local creation—it was made as a cheaper version of bowling for the Atlantic City boardwalk. And it’s the perfect cap to Prince Harry’s short Jersey Shore visit.
Jen A. Miller is a Collingswood-based writer and author of The Jersey Shore: Atlantic City to Cape May.