That’s what Inquirer writer Don McKee speculates after the Flyers appeared lifeless again last night, dropping the home-and-home series with the Toronto Maple Leafs, 3-2:

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After another weekend of rumor-slinging from Dallas to Delaware about the potential acquisition of contractually embattled Arizona wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, the Inquirer’s Bob Brookover has finally had enough. The headline of his story —”A trade for Larry Fitzgerald? Don’t count on it” — essentially says it all, but just in case any glimmers of hope survived that upfront assault, Brookover stomps all over them halfway through the piece: “It’s not going to happen.”

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Who leaked Suzy Shuster’s scathing e-mail to Alycia Lane about the bikini photos? Not Suzy Shuster, according to her husband, NFL Network talking head Rich Eisen.

The Associated Press found this out recently from a story it ran on January 30th about Lane’s pending lawsuit against CBS 3. The AP ran this correction last night: “In a Jan. 30 story about fired TV news anchor Alycia Lane, the Associated Press erroneously reported that the wife of NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen tipped tabloid gossip columnists to the existence of bikini photos sent to her husband by Lane.”

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Baltimore Sun sportswriter Bill Ordine today breaks down the myriad reasons why trading Donovan McNabb to the Ravens would be a thundering brain fart for both clubs.

Ordine offers insight into Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome’s managerial style, highlighting the fact that during his six-year run he’s never given up anything higher than a third-round draft pick in a trade. (It’s safe to assume that the Eagles wouldn’t unload McNabb for that.) Plus, for a GM that’s built his team solidly through the draft, giving up the eighth pick would be completely antithetical.

Ordine, a former Inquirer sports reporter during the Buddy Ryan era, also gives ample reasons why the Eagles would be silly to participate in this trade:

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After a quiet month on the WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO OUR DEAN OF ADMISSIONS beat, the Daily Pennsylvanian once again employs hitman Anthony Campisi in an attempt to bully president Amy Gutmann into disclosing why former dean of admissions chair Lee Stetson abruptly retired earlier this fall.

In a piece published today, the paper asked members of the board of trustees, essentially, “Do you think President Amy Gutmann is required to tell you, good, well-meaning Trustee, what happened to our beloved dean of admissions, who may or may not be tangled in an unspeakable scandal that could shake this venerable university to its Ivy core?”

Most of the trustees responded, “Eh, not really.”

Trusty trustee Robert Gleason perhaps said it best: “As a trustee, I hold [Gutmann] responsible for the operation of the University day-to-day. I’m not even concerned about the reasons why anybody leaves.”

Translation: Beat it, punk.

However, the scrappy little Woodward-in-training bites back with his own source designed to undermine the lifeless quotes of the uncooperative trustees:

“When the situation turns into an intrigue like this … it would make sense if the president of the university would chat with the board and give some explanation of what happened,” said Outi Flynn of BoardSource, a consulting firm for nonprofits.

Faced! Sort of.

Sadly, the half-hearted scolding from Flynn did nothing to dislodge further trustee quotes. At least we know the staff at the DP is a determined lot, and will not stop until they unearth the truth. Or until Anthony Campisi graduates.

Pressure on Gutmann Absent After Resignation [Daily Pennsylvanian]

A source close to Jonathan Newman says the former LCB chairman is in talks with the Inquirer or the Daily News for a new gig to occupy his time between counting money and squashing grapes. The job details are sketchy, and it’s not known whether he’d be on the executive side or the editorial side. If it’s the editorial side, Inquirer editor in chief Bill Marimow knows nothing about it.

“This is the first I’ve heard of it, but if you hear anything else please let me know, ” he tells the Daily Examiner. He sounded sincere.

Newman has yet to return an e-mail inquiry about the job, and chances are we won’t hear about his new position until he’s gone through the proper channels so it doesn’t look like he was blabbing about it to his ritzy friends. One Inquirer staffer suggested he earn a position in the new cafeteria, where his skill set could be put to good use. Perhaps the uptick in circulation has given Brian Tierney and company the means to bring Newman on as personal sommelier to the editorial staff?

It’s been a constant rumor all year, but after Sunday night’s loss to the Giants, sources close to Andy Reid and the team say there’s a strong possibility Reid may get off the sidelines sooner than expected. All year, Reid’s family troubles have been taking a noticeable toll, and many of his players are biding their time until Big Red makes an announcement. With Marty Mornhinweg already assuming much of the offense, Reid’s a lame-duck coach at this point, just poking around on the sidelines to keep his mind off of his woes. The likely scenario is inserting Mornhinweg in the coach’s seat so Reid can ride out the rest of his contract as Executive Vice President of Football Operations, leaving him more time with his fractured family.

Also, sources are saying with Donovan McNabb most likely spending his last year in Philadelphia, this bye week might be the best possible time for the organization to officially switch gears. McNabb will continue to start (for now), but regardless of how the season turns out, this is most likely his victory lap in Philadelphia.

Anybody that surprised?

PHOTO: CNN

Word on the street is that Tony Luke, the reigning Sandwich King of Philadelphia, is anxiously awaiting a phone call from NBC telling him whether he made it onto the next season of The Biggest Loser, the reality show in which the morbidly obese transform themselves into relative pictures of health.

The 350-pound Luke, who auditioned with his son Michael, is said to have made it through multiple cuts, the final of which is apparently scheduled to happen at any time. If he does make it on, he’ll be whisked to an undisclosed location on October 5th, only to return to the Philadelphia area next February. “It’s a strict quarantine,” says one source, who adds that Luke (who would not confirm the rumor on the record) will not be allowed access to phones or e-mail. All of which makes us wonder how Luke’s absence might affect his growing sandwich empire — though it’s likely that Luke sees the show as a way to boost not just his health and self-esteem but also his fledgling acting career. — Victor Fiorillo

Via The700Level, Philadelphia’s most vituperative passion pit for all things sports, comes the most extreme suggestion from a commenter who apparently expects to see Wheels showing up on a Megan’s Law website very soon:

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