When SEPTA announced a new “Quiet Ride” program in April — banning cell-phone use and talking above a whisper on the first cars of most rush-hour rail trains — readers and deep thinkers (silently) rejoiced. Alas, things haven’t gone quietly. Save for small stickers behind the doors of designated cars, no signs indicate the “no noise” edict, and many conductors appear blasé about shushing chatty offenders, leaving stewing riders to confront yakkers. SEPTA flack Richard Maloney admits enforcing the rule is difficult: “I don’t have an answer,” he says. We do: Drive.