ASK THE EXPERT: Should I Warn People If They’re Not Invited?

Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants' Mark Kingsdorf has the answer.


Q: Because of various restrictions, our guest list is rather small, and there are some people we just couldn’t invite. Should I proactively reach out to those people to explain and apologize, or would that make it worse? Or should I just not acknowledge it unless they come to me?

A: “Just as no one should ever ask a bride, ‘How many carats is your ring?’ or ‘Your gown is beautiful—what did it cost?,’ it is not appropriate for them to ask if they are or why they were not invited to your wedding, and you owe them no explanation,” says Mark Kingsdorf, owner of Philly’s The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants.

“If you have a very close friend and feel you want to say something, do it on an individual basis—your financial situation is no one’s business.” Your friends should understand that any invite decisions made out of necessity aren’t personal. Besides, in the end, it’s your day—apologies shouldn’t even enter the equation.


This article originally appeared in the spring/summer 2012 issue of Philadelphia Wedding.

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