Krasner Goes Full FAFO on Trump: “He Better Not Try It in Philly.”

FAFO means F Around And Find Out. I’m allowed to write fuck but I choose not to. / Image via CNN

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Krasner Goes Full FAFO on Trump: “He Better Not Try It in Philly.”

With known E-lister Donald Trump enacting a federal takeover of the police force in Washington D.C., Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner has been publicly reminding the president to keep our name out of his mouth.

Trump hasn’t specifically or prolongedly targeted Philly in his recent rants about “crime in blue cities,” but it’s coming and Krasner knows it.

The DA addressed the matter at a press conference on Tuesday citing historically low crime rates in multiple cities, including ours. Yesterday he went on CNN to go off:

“President Trump doesn’t like public safety. He’s a convicted criminal himself. He pardons people who are criminals and do pretty dastardly things, like cause the deaths of five different law enforcement officers on January 6th. There is no indication that this man is in favor of law-abiding behavior or public safety. But he is in favor of power. He is in favor of fascism. He is in favor of ending democracy.”

D.C. is a special case, Krasner later pointed out, because it’s not in a state —  Trump would be on much shakier ground sending the military into other cities. “And he better not try it in Philly.”

And if he does?

“We go to the courts and hopefully we have judges who still believe in the law — even if some of his hacks on the Supreme Court do not. What we do is we stand up, we resist, we fight.”

It takes a minute, but Krasner eventually gets his Epstein jabs in, too.

In lighter but related news, Seth Meyers had a bit last night about Philadelphia having a historically low crime rate and winning the Super Bowl in the same year.

In Other News …

Taylor Swift made her first ever (!) podcasting appearance yesterday when she unveiled her new album on Jason and Travis Kelce’s New Heights show. The retired Eagle got loud in his intro. Tay thanked him for wearing her merch. The whole thing was pretty endearing.

A raid by Philly PD led to the rescue of some 45 chickens from a cockfighting ring in Kensington yesterday. Well, “rescue” is kind of a misleading term, as several of the roosters that have been “dressed” and trained to fight will be euthanized.

Former Flyers captain Mike Richards won third place in a fishing derby up in Canada. Dude has two Stanley Cups (with the Kings), a gold medal in the Olympics, as well as championships in the CHL, AHL and IIHC. And now this fish thing.

Students at Olney High School will be forced to pay to put their cell phones in outdoor lockers when school starts this year. Many students say the lockers aren’t secure; a petition is going around and a protest is in the works.

The Inky has an artfully told story about tree doctors fighting a (losing?) battle against an extinction-level threat. It’s a long read but a fascinating (and alarming) one.

The Phillies are playing the Nationals tonight, and the biblical pitching matchup — Jesus Luzardo vs. Brad Lord — is bringing out the Jayson Stark in me. It’s the New Testament against the Old, people! Son vs. Father! Miracle Man taking on the the Smiter of Heretics. Okay I’m done. Wait. Sermon on the Mound! Does that work?

Local Talent

Tonight: Head down to Spruce Street Harbor Park for a free show featuring a stacked lineup of high quality Philly indie bands. The headliner is Gladie, fronted by Augusta Koch (ex-Cayetana) — reliable creators of strong and catchy rock and roll. I’ve heard good things about middle act Mopar Stars, too. But listen, you’ll kick yourself if you miss opener Pinkwash, a fiery, fun-as-hell punk duo that’s been enjoying a resurgence lately.