You Can Now Marry a Lawnmower

At least according to certain Republicans.

Via Shutterstock.

Via Shutterstock.

If you thought your vibrator gave you the buzz of your life, you haven’t experienced anything yet! In yet another feeble attempt to undermine the recent Supreme Court’s marriage equality decision (and, of course, throw in just the right touch of homophobia), Iowa Republican Rep. Steve King claimed that we can all go marry lawnmowers (buzz, buzz).

King made the remarks during a speech at a Mike Huckabee campaign event, where he told the crowd that the Supreme Court’s ruling meant that “you can marry my lawnmower.” Journalist and author Matt Taibbi first reported on the gaffe via Twitter:

Huffington Post is reporting that King appears to be a little obsessed with the metaphor: He’s used it several times before, most recently during an interview with the Dickinson County News:

“Citing an unnamed Christian lawyer who reportedly told him that only ‘one human’ is needed for a marriage now, King wrote, ‘you could marry your lawnmower with this decision,’ and argued that ‘children do better in a home with a mom and a dad.'”

I, for one, am still trying to figure out what a lawnmower wedding would look like: Maybe instead of throwing rice, you’d throw grass clippings, and instead of punch flowing out of a giant ice sculpture, there would be fertilizer.