Catch Your Husband Cheating? Here’s What To Do

A scorned wife's action plan.

When we think of steakhouses, we imagine expensive food, lush booths and men in business suits. But it turns out these restaurants are not just for customers who want fine dining but are a favorite place to take your mistress.

The now-infamous website for married people seeking a little something on the side,, recently surveyed Philadelphians and found out that the most popular rendezvous destinations for stepping out with the mistress include Barclay Prime at number one, then Morton’s and Capital Grill. Men seem to like steakhouses because they are dimly lit, usually located in a financial hub, and many times close to hotels where dessert can be enjoyed.

In studies conducted on married men who cheat, 48 percent say that they did so because of emotional dissatisfaction, while 77 percent report that they had a good friend who cheated. With this bit of statistical insight, you should maintain a keen sense of who your hubby’s friends are, and which ones are the skeevy ones. (Note to self: Water finds its own level.) In the good news department, 66 percent of men who cheated did at least feel guilty. Still, the question remains: What are women to do when cheating has not only become so prevalent, but so many husbands could care less about being caught, given that they’re choosing to dine with their girlfriends at some of Philly’s see-and-be-seen restaurants?

The biggest mistake that women make is to turn the other cheek when their husband is philandering. Statistics show that 70 percent of married men have cheated at some point during their marriage … and two thirds of scorned wives claim they had no idea. Maybe if the man had a one-night stand, it could be plausible that the wife did not know, but if the womanizing is ongoing, I believe that a woman does have a sense about the realities within her marriage. Many of these women are scared to be on their own and, more importantly, petrified of the financial reality of a divorce, so they block out the truth.

Ladies, beware: Just because you live in a McMansion, drive a Benz, have a few kids and let him do what he wants, it does not mean that he is going to stay with you forever. Stop ignoring the warning signs. The sad truth is that men don’t have affairs to fall in love and leave. They have affairs to fulfill an impulse or an empty feeling. What no one can predict is chemistry and falling in love. Once the affair deepens and turns from lust to love, the problem at hand has reached a whole new level of messiness. Suddenly, your darling spouse does not see divorce as so expensive, and is fine with living in an apartment instead of the family home. As the kids reach college age, custody becomes a moot issue. It’s time with the children that keeps those teetering on the verge of leaving to stay put.

The answer to the question of what to do is simple. Don’t ignore the problem and naively think he won’t leave. Definitely do not address the issue by spending up a storm on a credit card to get back at him. He already does not care.  Confront him directly when you suspect any shenanigans. Seventeen percent of divorces are caused by infidelity, which is a small percentage considering more than half of married couples will split. Either he has one foot out the door and is not interested in salvaging the marriage or, with a lot of work, you can rebuild from the bottom up. Perhaps both of you will even realize and learn to appreciate what you almost lost.