“Jawnman” Is The Super Hero Philly Desperately Needs, Possibly
Which raises the question: Who is JAWNMAN?
Is he a a super hero? And if so, what is his special power? Can he effortlessly dispatch supervillains using his unique ability to apply a single, somewhat confusing pronoun to every single facet of the villain’s life? Maybe he can leap to the top of the Art Museum steps in a single bound? And is that Ford Focus thus a ruse to distract us from JAWNMAN’s special powers? Is the car tricked out with missiles and smoke machines and lasers? Does this mean that the Philly accent isn’t really leaving, but is instead putting on a mask to fight crime by night?
On one level, none of this matters. On another, more important level, it’s the most important question Philadelphia faces. Help us, JAWNMAN: You’re our only hope!