Jezebel Is Surely Coming for This Temple Student

Temple News columnist John Corrigan has come up with a unique way of breaking up with his girlfriend — discussing her menses on the internet:

Lying in bed Sunday morning, I’m awoken by sounds much louder than any alarm clock.

Despite stuffing my face with eggrolls mere hours earlier, I hear growling echoing from under the sheets. Lifting my head from the drool-stained pillow, I stare in the face of a lion’s roar.

The agony, the torture, the fading chances of satisfying my morning wood…no!

It’s back.

Before I can escape the comforter’s clutch, my girlfriend’s hand grabs my shoulder. The calendar failed me once again, refusing to mention it’s that time of the month. No one prepares guys for how to handle their ladies’ menstrual cycle.