El Wingador Wants to Keep Teenagers Out of Jail, or Something


Out on bail, local wing-eating personality El Wingador has issued a message to his friends, family and fans following his recent arrest for cocaine possession with intent to distribute.

“First off, I want to thank my friends and family and fans for the overwhelming outpouring of support and kindness they have shown me,” Simmons said. “This isn’t me. This isn’t my style. I messed up big time, and I give my sincerest apologies to anyone I have hurt by my actions.”

Now, after seeing the inside of the slammer, El Wingador has become an outspoken advocate of a bill working its way through the Jersey legislature that would alter the sentences handed down to nonviolent offenders.

“I got to see firsthand the impact hard time for nonviolent offenders has on these young kids facing long sentences giving them no chance at rehabilitation or of ever leading normal, productive lives,” Simmons said. “I was just in one jail but it struck me that there are thousands of kids in jails all around the country serving really stiff sentences for nonviolent offenses, and no one seems to care. We are talkin’ teenagers who’ve barely had a chance at life and they are locked up indefinitely.” [Philly.com]