How To: Get on the Right Financial Path

2. WE WANT …
The next step is to ask yourselves: What do we want, as a married couple? Do we want to buy a home? A house in the suburbs, or a condo in the city? Do we need a new car? Do we want to travel? Do we want kids? How many? Will they go to public or private school? Do we want to pay for their college education? Do we want to retire when we’re 50? Or in our late 60s? “Map out exactly what type of life you want to lead,” says D’Andrea. And don’t just throw ideas around; both planners stressed writing your financial goals down and being as specific as possible. You might even, as D’Andrea recommends, use visual cues: Save magazine clippings or photographs of what you want — a vacation house in Stone Harbor, say, or a 2011 Audi. That way, five or six months from now, if you can’t seem to stay on budget, you can look at those pictures, remember your goal, and get yourselves back on track.

3. THE PLAN.
Speaking of budgets … negotiating each partner’s financial personalities (say you’re a spender and he’s a saver) to create a budget you both feel comfortable with can be very tricky. “When you’ve been so used to making financial decisions on your own, and then there’s this other person with his own set of priorities, it’s a big adjustment,” says newlywed Dina. Luckily, that’s where those “wants” come in. “Once you’ve agreed on and prioritized your goals,” says financial adviser Harper, “from there, you can create a budget.” Really get down into the nitty-gritty everyday spending — and decide how much you can afford to spend on shopping, on groceries, on eating out, while still reaching your goals. (D’Andrea’s advice: Try using online budgeting tools, like Mint.com or the Money Center at Yodlee.com, to help you track your spending habits.) Then open a money market account — what Harper calls “a prosperity or aspiration fund” — for long-term savings, like the down payment on your dream house or the kids’ college tuition.
If you’re still having trouble agreeing on a budget, consider meeting with a financial adviser. An impartial third party can help you reach that happy middle ground without any unnecessary emotional flare-ups. (See our tips on finding a trustworthy financial planner.) Whatever it takes, Harper tells couples to get their budget set at least six months prior to the Big Day. That way, by the time you’re opening up all of those wedding cards, you’ll know exactly what the money should be going toward.