The Onion Gayly Spoofs Philly

Did Betsy Ross really belong on Project Runway?

The Onion, the nation’s “finest news source,” according to, well, The Onion, made us laugh today in a new post about one of Philly’s most beloved hometown historical gals, Betsy Ross.

In it, the funny pages gathered up some of Philly’s most famous ingredients – a few historical sites, some academic institutions and a dash of Colonial flavor – and cooked them into a crock pot of spoofery suggesting Betsy Ross, America’s most famous flagmaker, really made the Stars and Stripes as a shirt for her gay friend, Nathaniel.

Says The Onion: “This has completely upended the accepted narrative behind the first American flag,” said historian Kenneth Atwood, who led the team of scholars analyzing the long-forgotten journal of prominent Philadelphia homosexual Nathaniel Linsley. “Now we can say with certainty that our nation’s most enduring symbol of freedom, strength, and prosperity is actually just the result of Nathaniel’s desire for a sassy, tight-fitting top.”

Check it out, Philly.