Glee Is Gay

My country, ‘tis of thee,
Sweet land of puberty,
Of Glee I sing.

Musicals used to annoy me. Then came Glee, with its endearing entourage of melodious misfits, and I was a goner. In fact, after less than two seasons, I am practically a gay man. Or at the very least, a Gleek.

But as good as Glee’s music is — and it rocks the rafters on iTunes — it’s the storyline that made me a believer.

Inconsistent, implausible and populated by stereotypes, it nonetheless has produced a character missing on broadcast television since ABC’s one-season wonder My So-Called Life : the fully-realized adolescent homosexual.

I am speaking, of course, of Kurt Hummel. Played to painful perfection by Chris Colfer (voted “Male Scene Stealer” in the 2010 Teen Choice Awards), Kurt’s flamboyance and arrogance belie his insecurity and loneliness as McKinley High School’s only openly gay student.

The similarities between Wilson Cruz’s Rickie Vasquez in My So-Called Life (1994-95) and Colfer’s Kurt Hummel are startling. Both are persecuted queens who wear makeup and have a flair for fashion. Both hate high school. Both are achingly lonely and hang with straight girls.

The biggest difference between the characters is in their relationships with their fathers. Rickie’s throws him out of the house on Christmas Eve after he comes out. Kurt’s embraces him and tries to understand.

In real life, sadly, Cruz’ experience mirrored Rickie’s. Colfer’s parents have been supportive, he said in a recent interview.

The good news is that Kurt, who has had several unrequited crushes on straight guys, may have met the boy of his dreams in last week’s episode. Blaine (Darren Criss), a gorgeously gay choirboy from a rival school, enraptures Kurt with a performance of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” that has become Glee’s hottest single.

The episode’s title, “Never Been Kissed,” is a two-fer, referring to both Kurt and to new football coach Bieste, a female redwood with lipstick. She gets mercy-kissed by wimpy glee club director Will. Sad, sad, sad, and we see it coming.

Fortunately, Kurt’s first-ever kiss is a total shocker.

During an escalating argument with industrial-sized football player Dave Korofsky, who’s been hurling Kurt against his locker all season, Dave suddenly grabs him and gives him a lip lock that leaves them both speechless.

I can’t wait for tonight’s episode. Cue music.