HOW TO: The Kiddie Conundrum
That diplomacy starts with being as clear as you can on the invitations about who is invited. Jablonowski warns that it’s not uncommon for guests to assume an invitation is for the whole family; avoid this by addressing kid-free wedding invitations to “Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So” only. If a couple still RSVPs with children, don’t hesitate to confront them. “It’s an awkward conversation, but it’s one that needs to be had,” Jablonowski says. Better to sort out any miscommunications now than at the wedding. And if you really don’t feel comfortable telling someone that kids aren’t included on the guest list, have a neutral party, like your wedding planner or maid of honor, do the talking. Once you’ve made your decision, don’t bend — even if that means some of your guests with younger children may decide not to attend.
KID-FRIENDLY PARTYING “We had a ton of kids at our wedding, and they made it so much fun.” That’s Amy Goslin Cognato, who married husband Chris at St. Norbert Church in Paoli this past May. Amy and Chris had 17 children under the age of 12 (including Amy’s two-week-old niece) at their nuptials, and an additional 25 guests between the ages of 13 and 21. “We love kids and have lots of young cousins and friends with growing families, so we just decided to make no exclusions,” says Amy.
What Amy wanted was a big, traditional wedding, something “elegant, but not fancy or overly formal.” With a 2 p.m. ceremony and a 5-to-10-p.m. reception, kids fit easily into the equation. However, planner Jablonowski is quick to point out that just because you’ve decided to have kids at the wedding doesn’t mean the planning will be all fun and games: “If you choose to invite children, you need to be aware of your responsibility as the host of that event to put those children in a position where they can be successful guests.” That means considerations like kid-friendly activities — and kid-friendly food.
While Amy didn’t plan any kid–specific activities at her wedding — “The kids honestly danced the entire night and entertained everyone” — her older sister, Beth, who had her wedding reception at the Villanova Conference Center in March 2008, arranged to have a kids’ room upstairs at the venue, with coloring books, a ping-pong table and arcade games. Beth also had three teenage babysitters on hand for families with little ones in need of supervision.
