BOUQUET: ON THE MARK

When even we get stumped, we know where to turn: Mark Kingsdorf, owner of Philly’s Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants and wedding etiquette guru extraordinaire. This issue, he addresses sticky issues involving your guests—and their plus ones.
Q: What’s a good rule of thumb for deciding who gets invited with guests and who doesn’t?
Some brides just go with “No ring, no bring!” But if two people are engaged, living together or in a long-term committed relationship, they come as a couple. Arm candy, or the guest du jour—no go.
Q: What if someone responds with a guest—and wasn’t invited with one?
Look at whether you’re even able to accommodate the guest—and also, who might be offended if you let him or her come along. If it won’t work, someone needs to call and say so.
Q: What do I do if someone shows up at the wedding with an uninvited guest?
There’s no right or wrong answer—but let your planner or caterer know how you’d prefer that situation to be handled. Most caterers allow for accidents or unexpected people and have extra meals; we’ve also had brides tell us not to let in anybody who’s not on the list.