By now you’ve seen the plans for the new Comcast Technology and Innovation Center, the eventual tallest building in the city that will include a “vertical campus” — look at Comcast talking like a Silicon Valley tech firm! — the Four Seasons, NBC 10, et cetera. A lot of people have been down on the design, but I like it. It’s not another glass tower, adding a completely different look to the skyline. The spire on top is silly, but I think all skyscrapers are required to have decorative nonsense now. Plus, it’s a giant middle finger to West Philadelphia from Center City. You leave your nonsense on that side of the river, college kids and crust punks! (Just kidding.)
But it’s hard to get through all the renderings and associated video. There’s just so much! Well, don’t fret. I spent hours examining the renderings for the new CITC — is this what we’re going to call it? — and have boiled down what you need to find in them.
Sorry, sorry, I’m done. That is a really cool mural, though.
Yes, apparently this building is going to have incredible, Willy Wonka-style glass elevators on the sides. Will there be normal elevators, too? People who are afraid of heights aren’t going to be able to work here if not! How much of the engineer pool is Comcast losing with this decision?
On the other hand, this town needs some glass elevators. The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are in The Gallery and in the parking garage at 11th and Filbert. (Also: The garage the Fox and Hound is in.) Finally, Philadelphia has upped its glass elevator game.
Here’s a cross-section of the lower floors of the building. You will note that it has underground parking — I think that’s a K-Car — and also an enormous Slip-N-Slide. Those are not safe for adults! (And maybe not for kids.) Still, I like Comcast’s commitment to fun.
What you really want to see, though, is inside the building. How will the building help Comcast employees work together there? That dude in the cardigan and the bro in the headphones will probably get fired for slacking off, but everyone else should have fun doing crossword puzzles. Kathy Matheson will have to get a job there!
It’s amazing how Comcast has pretty much perfectly depicted how engineers dress in most of these renderings.
Also, there will be ghosts. Ghosts with an amazing view!
Now here’s where the building gets cool. First off, there is a slide. A slide! Why doesn’t every atrium-type room have slides? (Or at least fireman poles.) Think how much time you’d save going from the third floor to the first! Norman Foster combined McDonaldland with The Gallery and created the greatest room ever. Also, like all futuristic renderings, there are humanoid robots. Maybe Comcast is going to build a robot to change channels for me!
The video that this still is from showed great plays from throughout Eagles history. But primarily it was the early-2000s Andy Reid-era Eagles, when the team won four straight division titles and made it to the Super Bowl. Is Comcast promising Eagles success with this new building? Maybe the quarterback of the future is not Nick Foles, but a humanoid robot! (The downside: The NFL will probably not let Comcast show games in this room.)
If you’re wondering what sports team runs this city, keep in mind that Comcast owns a Philadelphia sports team and did not feature it in this video.
Incredible. I want to go there right now.
Follow @dhm on Twitter.