The Inquirer reports that Monday’s official name-change of Chinks’ steakhouse to Joe’s Steaks + Soda Shop was met with much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Philadelphians who like their cheesesteak sandwiches “wiz wit“—the “wiz,” in this case, apparently being a reference to the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Turns out a Joe’s Steak tastes way better if it’s heavily flavored with racial slurs instead of onions—and it’s your stupid political correctness that’s responsible for America declining into the kind of place where a man can’t even insult Asians anymore, fer chrissakes. ”Cracker Barrel hasn’t had to change their name,” said neighborhood resident Eleanor McGonigal. “I mean, that could be made into a racist thing.” Who would’ve guessed that white Philadelphians harbor so many negative thoughts about race in their hearts?
On a related note, Daily News columnist Helen Ubiñas followed the Chinks’ change with today’s suggestion that the Italian Market change its name to reflect its more modern, more Latino makeup. Ultimately, the column seems to suggest making the change would be futile—the market’s demographics rae ever in flux—but we’re trying to imagine how that’s going to go over with Philly.com commenters. Our guess? Not well.