Philly Today: Be on the Lookout for a Delco Kitten Killer
If you're looking for signs of the end-times, friends, just read on. Also: How'd those Eagles do?
Happy Friday! Man, things really are getting apocalyptic these days, aren’t they? Police in Sharon Hill are asking for your help finding a man who’s been leaving boxes of dead kittens at a shelter there. Doesn’t really get more Delco than that.
While we’re in the hinterlands, there was a recent Steven Tyler (as in Aerosmith, as in dad of Liv) sighting in Lititz.
Even further afield, out in Mill Run in Blair County, have you ever visited Frank Lloyd Wright’s magnificent Fallingwatermelon?
This is not a good look, New Jersey Supreme Court. You say it’s perfectly okay for a Catholic school to can an unmarried teacher for getting pregnant? Not to, like, throw the first stone, but you know who else was betrothed but not yet married when she got knocked up? Think about it.
By the numbers:
4 to 8: Years this Upper Merion schlub will have to serve for pulling a samurai sword on a resident in a coffee shop in the Dekalb Apartments and declaring he was having a bad day.
804,000: Federal student loan borrowers who found out this week that all is forgiven.
1: Years James Harden says he wants to play b-ball in China. I for one would happily contribute to a fund to send him there.
8: Raccoons recovered from a North Philly apartment after some of their friends crashed through the roof.
And from the Tie-Me-Up Sports Desk …
The Cleveland Browns got a nice drive going all the way to the three-yard line in the first drive of last night’s preseason game against the Eagles, but oh look! Who stripped the ball to end it? Way to go, Nakobe Dean! Marcus Mariota had the reins, and all the Birds could do with the ball was give up a safety, as Kenny Gainwell got grabbed behind the goal line. Bummer. The Browns botched the kick return, though. Well, it was preseason, right? We got a field goal, so hey, we were winning! That’s where it stood at the close of the first. You know what’s really vicious? Preseason Twitter. They wanted Mariota out and Tanner McKee in now.
Almost a pick by big boy Kentavius Street just into the second quarter, but he dropped it. Injuries were felling Iggles right and left. A Browns field goal made it 5-3, ho-hum, and they got another with two and a half minutes left in the half: 8-3. Mariota was still in. He’d been sacked three times. The time of possession difference in the first half was rather stunning: 22 minutes for them vs. eight for us. Eight. Bring on the second half, please.
McKee in! He had a lovely completion to Joseph Ngata and another to Devon Allen. He also came downfield to try to throw a block on a TD run by Trey Sermon. That’s more like it! Zach (Cunningham) sack! A Deon Cain drop … and one by Tyrie Cleveland. Damn, he was injured, too. Ross Tucker was enthusiastic about safety Sydney Brown, whose identical twin Chase is with the Bengals. The Browns put a TD on the board with five minutes left in the third: 15-10 Cincinnati at its close. And a Cleveland field goal minutes into the fourth. I hate this game.
A nice Cain runback gave us new hope, but nothing was working. A wild six-yard run by Browns QB Kellen Mond made us look dumb. And one more bad injury with a backboard removal, this one to Moro Ojomo. Oooh, touchdown Brady Russell! Nice pass, Tanner! And a two-point conversion for the tie: 18-18. A long Browns possession left them at the 47-yard line at the two-minute warning, and you could feel the field goal coming. Cade York hit it wide, but there was a flag: Illegal formation on the Iggles, for barely brushing the snapper. Dang. OMG, he missed the second!
"Well, I know what they're going to be talking about on Cleveland sports talk radio tomorrow. I mean, back-to-back chances to take the lead, and (Cade) York missed it twice."- Ross Tucker pic.twitter.com/zfxXdfEkJo
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 18, 2023
Last chance for us, with a minute-plus left. Nice Johnny King catch! First down! Missed throw! Another miss! Third and 10 … and a sack. Shit. Fourth and 14, and an Eagles punt. Half a minute to go. And it’s a big-ass tie. Deal with it. Preseason. Whatever.
And Now, Your Weekend Update:
The Phils start a series in D.C. with the Nationals tonight at 7:05. They then play Saturday at 4:05. Sunday’s Nats game is in Williamsport for the 2023 MLB Little League Classic, at 7 p.m. Hey, there’s an all-kid broadcast team for the game on ESPN! The Giants come to town on Monday night for the first of three. Speaking of Little League, the Media team plays in a do-or-die elimination game Saturday at 2 p.m.
There was an announcement during the Eagles game that defensive star and Temple grad Haason Reddick had successful surgery on his thumb yesterday. He’s supposed to be ready for the start of the season. …
And the Sixers schedule is out, per Philly Voice.
The Union meet Monterrey Saturday at 6 at home in Subaru Park in the Leagues Cup battle for third place. How very European!
And I’m off to the seashore for a week (Ocean City represent!) with the whole extended Hingston clan, which means we’ll be way too busy playing Scrabble and fighting over acceptable two-letter words for me to watch any games. Yeah, the curse of being the one sports lover in the family in a one-TV Shore rental. Think of me. I’ll be thinking of youse.