What’s What With: The Blob
In the 1958 Steve McQueen movie The Blob, a gelatinous object from outer space terrorized the Chester County countryside. This weekend, the tourist-hungry folks in Phoenixville host their annual BlobFest, complete with screenings of the film (and others, like The Creature From the Black Lagoon and The Tingler), scream and costume contests, and a re-enactment of the running-out scene from the Colonial Theatre. In honor of the 50th anniversary of this, um, classic, I decided to track down the real star of the film: the indescribable, indestructible, nothing-can-stop-it thing known simply as The Blob.
A lot of my readers might be surprised to know that you can communicate and that you are not, as described by some, "amoeba-like." Do you feel that the movie gave the public the wrong impression?
You know, when you’ve lived as long as I have — and when you’re indestructible, that’s a pretty long time — you get to a point where you just don’t care what people think. The truth is that the filmmaker, Irvin Yeaworth, wanted to make a much different movie, where the true nature of The Blob was revealed, where my soul and mind were exposed to the world. But, you know, actors are ego-driven, and McQueen threatened to walk if I had any lines.
But I guess you had the last laugh, since McQueen has been dead for almost 30 years, and yet the Blob lives on.
Sure, and then there’s the money.
You must be referring to McQueen’s $3,000 paycheck for the movie. Are you suggesting that you made more?
[pause] Listen, I’d rather not ooze on the man’s corpse. I mean, after all, this is the guy who went on to make Bullitt, a brilliant, brilliant work. But suffice to say that The Blob lives very comfortably.
In the past, the Colonial has had members of the original cast and crew on hand for BlobFest, but not you. What gives?
I hate to sound callous, but the Colonial is a nonprofit and they just can’t afford The Blob.
All right, enough about the money. Do you still eat people?
Well, just so you’re clear, I never really ate people so much as absorbed them, but yes, I do. But you have to understand, I am not compelled by bloodlust, insanity, revenge, a hatred for mankind, or a sadistic desire to end life, as some scholars have suggested. It’s all biological.
Speaking of biological needs, is there a Mrs. Blob?
Do they actually pay you to ask me these questions? I mean, here you are, talking to one of the most iconic creatures of all time, and you want to talk to me about sex? The media is so damn sensationalistic.
I’m just asking the questions that people want answers to. But the question of sex does bring up a valid concern, which is whether or not you have procreated, whether or not there are other blobs sliming their way around the region.
[pause] In. De. Struct. Ible. Get it? I have no need for offspring. You humans copulate because you are evolutionarily required to. I am not. I suggest you change the subject.
What about the other movies, Beware! The Blob and the 1988 remake — were you in those? I couldn’t tell from the IMDB credits.
No, I was not. The residuals from the original are plenty to keep me going, but that’s all I’m going to say about it, as there is forthcoming litigation … Listen, I have guests coming, so if you want to ask me one more question, go for it.
Okay, Pat’s or Geno’s?
The customers, stupid.