Ask the Experts: Friend v. Friend

Q: We have close friends who are going through an extremely bitter divorce. Do we have to choose between them at our wedding?

A: Friends who are at each other’s throats can be a stickier wicket than divorcing parents, says Catherine Walton, owner of Weddings by the Sea in Cape May. But unlike your parents, you can simply avoid a confrontation between your friends.

“It sounds harsh, but you can’t invite either one of them,” she says. “If you did, your mutual friends would be fragmented and it would take the focus off your special day.”

Even though they won’t be receiving invitations, you must write to your friends. State your abiding affection and tell them that, out of fairness, you couldn’t choose one friend over the other, and to have them in the same space would be too painful.

“Then invite them to come and visit you after you return from your honeymoon — individually, of course,” Walton says. —Eileen Smith