America Is Having a Love Affair With Hunter Pence

Barf. Read ahead at your own risk.

As if October isn’t crappy enough right now *looks at NHL and the Eagles* Phillies fans had to watch the hated Cardinals beat the hated Braves in a one-game playoff. Then, we had to watch the hated Cardinals (thankfully) beat the hated Nationals before falling to the hated Giants in dramatic fashion. Now, Hunter Pence and his triple-hit, three-run knock is becoming a part of baseball history. On Wednesday, the paper of record heralded Pence—the guy who was (whoops) supposed to be “The Next Great Phillie”—as the spark that ignited the San Francisco Giants.

Outfielder Hunter Pence is the human defibrillator that shocked the World Series-bound Giants back to life with his motivational speeches in their division series victory against the Cincinnati Reds and with his bat in Monday’s decisive game of the National League Championship Series against the St. Louis Cardinals. [New York Times]

VIDEO: A Cardboard Cutout of Hunter Pence Tries to Hypnotize You Into Buying Bread from Liscio’s Bakery

Hey! Here’s that video of a cardboard cutout of former Phillie Hunter Pence peddling hoagie rolls at Philadelphia landmarks set to irritating house music with an autotune voice-over that you never asked for. Pence and his “Let’s go eat!” slogan were used in advertisements for Liscio’s Bakery prior to the Phils shipping him to San Francisco in the Great Fire Sale of 2012. As obnoxious as this video is, they’re on-point when they say it all starts with the bread. Seriously, though, this Monday was rough enough without having listened to that house music.

VIDEO: Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence Get “Somebody That I Used to Know” Parody

With all of the “Call Me Maybe” crap that we’ve put each other through this summer, it feels like Gotye hasn’t been relevant in decades. But, really, “Somebody That I Used to Know” was on top of the Billboard chart as recently as June. Then, as July drew to a close, the Phils shipped Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence to L.A. and San Francisco respectively. The trades prompted the guys at the MLB Fan Cave to make a parody of the Gotye and Kimbra video for “Somebody That I Used to Know.” It’s entertaining, but also mildly disturbing. It’s totally SFW, but be advised that you shouldn’t watch this alone or more than twice. [Crossing Broad]

Hunter Pence Traded to the San Francisco Giants Pending Physical

The Phillies have sent right fielder Hunter Pence to the San Francisco Giants for a package of players including 21-year-old Minor League catcher Tommy Joseph and Nate Scheirholtz. Pence has struggled, batting only .271/.336./.437 with 17 homers and 59 RBIs. He was a Phillie for just over a year. He’s the second starting outfielder the Phillies traded on Tuesday after sending Victorino to the Dodgers.

Click here to see our running coverage of the Phillies Fire Sale 2012.

Hunter Pence to the San Francisco Giants?

Pence to the Giants? Rumors suggest that a deal to send Hunter Pence to San Francisco is in the works. The trade was supposedly “awaiting ownership approval,” but the Giants VP has reportedly denied that the swap was in place. [Crossing Broad]

More Tires Slashed. This time it was eight cars in South Philly. [6 ABC]

10-Year-Old Allegedly Stabs His Dad. A 33-year-old Ardmore man was treated at Paoli Hospital on Sunday night after reportedly being stabbed in the neck by his 10-year-old son. [NBC Philadelphia]

Another Water Main Break. On Sunday night—a week after the disaster at 21st and Bainbridge—a water main broke in the city’s Pennypack section. Crews were able to shut off the valve to the water main a little before midnight. [6 ABC]

Guy Arrested for Portable Meth Lab. A man was arrested for getting his Walter White on in a hotel at 13th and Race. Guests were evacuated Sunday morning when the man’s alleged meth lab set off a smoke detector in one of the rooms. [Inquirer]

Day 4 of Voter ID Debate. Today marks the fourth day of testimony in the debate over Pennsylvania’s Voter ID law. [CBS 3]

Phillies Shopping Hunter Pence?

On Tuesday, Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports wrote that the Phillies are reportedly shopping right fielder Hunter Pence. Pence only became a Phillie at last year’s deadline. This would be the first full season with the club for Pence, who graced the cover of our April issue. Let’s go eat? [Fox Sports]

The Phillies continue to signal to clubs that they are eager to move right fielder Hunter Pence, who could earn $13 million to $14 million next season in his final year of arbitration.

Pence, 29, is batting .268 with a .789 OPS, 17 homers and 57 RBI. His value could be enhanced by the signings of the San Diego Padres’ Carlos Quentin and Toronto Blue Jays’ Edwin Encarnacion and their respective removals from the trade market. But few teams are willing to assume high salaries and part with significant prospects.

The700Level to Livestream the Shane Victorino Foundation Fashion Show

If you like the idea of a shirtless Hunter Pence, you might want to head over to The700Level.com tonight for their livestream of the Shane Victorino Foundation Fashion Show. The annual event—now in its third year—features many of the Phils and some other notable Philadelphians getting all dolled up to help raise money for underprivileged kids. Last year, Pence tossed his shirt into the crowd while Cole Hamels rocked a man purse and offered up his now infamous pose. [The 700 Level]

Hunter Pence Hosts Let’s Go Eat: Food and Fun Fest on the Moshulu

Last night a who’s who of healthy Phillies and other Philly pseudo celebrities were on the Moshulu for Hunter Pence’s charitable “Let’s Go Eat: Food and Fun Fest” event. There was food, there was fun (read: ping-pong tournament), and it was all for a good cause (the event proceeds went to Make-A-Wish and Philabundance). Not a bad way for the Phils to spend a night off. Oh, they’re also only three games out of first place. [Crossing Broad]

Hunter Pence Loves You Even Though You Booed Him

Hunter Pence was booed after booting a ball in South Philly earlier this week. Today, he was on WIP with Angelo Cataldi to promote the Let’s Go Eat Food and Fun Fest and talk about what it’s been like playing in Philly, especially as he struggles in the outfield. Pence took responsibility for his mishaps, though admitted that he couldn’t explain them. He then praised Philly for knowing what’s going on with all of the teams all of the time. Any guy that compliments us as we boo him is alright in our book. [Crossing Broad]

Hunter Pence to Host Charity Event on the Moshulu

Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Hunter Pence will be hosting the “Let’s Go Eat: Food & Fun Fest” on the Moshulu ship and restaurant on Thursday May 31st from 5:30 to 10 p.m. The event will benefit Make-A-Wish Philadelphia & Susquehanna Valley, Philabundance, and Phillies Charities, Inc.

Pence and some of his fellow Phillies, as well as other local celebrities, will enjoy food, drink, and live entertainment with guests aboard the ship. Both a live and a silent auction will take place during the event, as well as a raffle to win a luxury vehicle with a two-year lease. A few lucky guests will even have the chance to play in a Ping Pong tournament with a chance to play against Hunter Pence! Let’s hope his table tennis game is as good as his fielding.

General admission tickets are still available for $150 at http://hunterpence.ticketleap.com/letsgoeat so if you’d like to possibly win a car for two years and meet some Phillies while supporting three area charities, buy a ticket fast.

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