How to Have a Secret First & Father-Daughter Dance, for Spotlight-Averse Brides  

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Well isn’t this just the week of my clever friends sharing with me their clever wedding ideas!

Today, it’s about my friend Erica and her plan—which she has given me her blessing to share and you her blessing to steal!—for doing the special dances at her upcoming fall wedding (you know, she and her groom, she and her dad, etc.) but kinda not doing the special dances at her wedding. Here’s what we mean.


This is how Erica feels about those special dances: "UGH! I want to die at the thought of being stared at while I do my least favorite thing in the world." Because the thought of every guest at her wedding stopping what they were doing to gaze at her on an empty dance floor gave her extreme agita, she was thinking she was just going to skip them altogether—and then her photographer had an excellent idea.

Erica and her dudes will still choose songs for those special dances—but then her photographer will be the only other person who knows what they are. Then, when those songs come on, she will still dance with both her new husband and her dad, she'll still get to choose the meaningful soundtracks for those moments—she'll still get to have those moments—and her photographer will still be able to capture them. It's just that "the dance floor won't clear out and mortify me." Perf!

Erica is far from the only bride I have known who is seriously not into how brightly the spotlight will be shining on her on her wedding day—and who is approaching certain moments like those special dances with a good bit of apprehension. What's great, though, is that there aren't any rules you have to follow at your wedding—so if there's a cheat, like hers, that can allow you to bend tradition a bit to make you comfortable with various aspects of this particular party, well, have at it. (And then tell us what it is so we can share with the class.)

RELATED: 144 Songs for Every Moment & Dance On Your Wedding Day 

RELATED: Not Having Bridesmaids? You Can Still Officially Invite Your Best Girls to Be Your Non-Bridesmaids 

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