Is This Guy the Swiss Cheese Pervert? [UPDATED]

Here’s what happened when I knocked on the door of this Norristown man.

swiss-cheese-pervert-norristown-chris-pagano

UPDATE: Swiss Cheese Pervert suspect Chris Pagano has been arrested. For the complete story, go here.

ORIGINAL:




On Friday afternoon, I broke the news that Philadelphia Police were looking for the so-called Swiss Cheese Pervert, a guy who is allegedly driving around with his pants down, soliciting women with his penis and a piece of Swiss cheese. By Saturday, sources familiar with the investigation told me they suspect that the Swiss Cheese Pervert may be Norristown's Chris Pagano, a man with two previous arrests (both dismissed) for allegedly soliciting prostitutes. So I knocked on Pagano's door.

Pagano, who is 41, appeared shirtless at the door (as seen in the above photo) and denied being the Swiss Cheese Pervert. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Sometimes people confuse me with somebody else."

Prior to my visit, I had visited Pagano's Facebook page:

swiss-cheese-pervert-chris-pagano-norristown-facebook-page

Within a few minutes of my visit, Pagano replaced his Facebook profile photo:

swiss-cheese-pervert-chris-pagano-norristown-facebook-2

Since then, Pagano has made his entire Facebook page private.

In 2006, Pagano was arrested in Norristown and charged with soliciting a prostitute and disorderly conduct. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and the solicitation charge was dismissed. In 2009, Pagano was arrested again in Norristown and charged with soliciting a prostitute and disorderly conduct. And, again, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and the solicitation charge was — yep, you guessed it — dismissed. No word on whether cheese was involved in those incidents.

Twenty-year-old Gabby Chest of Bridesburg says that Pagano sent her a message on dating website OkCupid last year. She says that the man in my doorstep photo and in the profile photo on the Chris Pagano Facebook page is the same man who sent her the message. "It's the same man," she says. "He had the exact same photo on OkCupid," referring to the Facebook profile photo seen above.

Here is the message that Chest says Pagano sent her via OkCupid:

Hello, my name is Chris. I am sure you are seeking a relationship, and I am sort of seeking the same, well sort of. You see I am currently content with my life. I enjoy meeting new people and making friends, but I also enjoy looking for women who are just looking for fun, opportunities, and or sex. I am kind of hoping you may be one of those women, who are open to certain activities of a suggestive nature. I realize talking and or requesting anything sexual with a someone you don't know can be a turn off for most, but would you be interested in getting to know me, and perhaps being involved in a sexual encounter together?

I know it's a bit much to take in, since you really don't know me. Still I am open to get to know you at first before anything would happen. I want to be up-front with you and tell you what exactly I am looking for. This way you have an idea of what I am into. You see it's not sex in the traditional sense, it's more a fetish. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy traditional sex, but I grown to prefer this more. This fetish is a Sitophilia type fetish. I will give you a short explanation that lead me to discover why I like this type of fetish.

You see, when I was young and even now I seemed to be judged on my looks and not on my personality. So finding women and starting relationships was harder for me then most. Couple that with a strong sex drive, and you get the picture. So I developed this fetish to help me deal with my sexual urges. I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese. I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate. Now tho, after finding several girls to do it for me, I prefer having girls do it for me, instead of myself. Still I suppose I was lucky in finding those women, and our relationships did not last long, since our relationship based more on my fetish and me helping them out money wise. When they became comfortable again, we stayed friends, but they seemed to move on with their lives or I moved on because of the drama that sometimes followed some of them. The other problem I encounter is that women tend to be more freaked out over my fetish, then they would be over other questionable activities that are far more disgusting then mine. I don't understand why using cheese in the way I use it is so disturbing to women, the ones who have done my fetish for me say it's quite vanilla compared to so things they have encountered, and say I am quite harmless given my kind personality.

So my request is, is there any way you would be willing to strike up an arraignment with me to do my fetish for me, if of course you would be open to this sort of activity?

Lastly if I have offended you, I am sorry as it was not my intention to do so. I just hope my fetish with cheese does not disturb you in any way, sorry if it has. Also when I mention arrangement, please don't think it just has to be money either, I know you are not a prostitute, in fact I don't want women like that at all. It can be anything you feel is a fair trade. Please if you could please let me know if you might be interested or not, and what you think of my request, I would appreciate it, thanks.

And here is the photo of the alleged Swiss Cheese Pervert, as published on the Mayfair Town Watch Facebook page on Thursday:

swiss-cheese-pervert-philadelphia-police

And here is a photo posted by a woman on Twitter:

Is Pagano the culprit?

Follow @VictorFiorillo on Twitter.

Be respectful of our online community and contribute to an engaging conversation. We reserve the right to ban impersonators and remove comments that contain personal attacks, threats, or profanity, or are flat-out offensive. By posting here, you are permitting Philadelphia magazine and Metro Corp. to edit and republish your comment in all media.

  • Greedy Lawyer

    You’d better hope he is!

  • Oldschool

    Phillymag, you all are the last of a dying breed of the true investigative journalists of the old days! Dont ever change!

  • Tom Livingston

    If this isn’t the guy, a) the resemblance is uncanny, and b) Phillymag had better have good libel insurance. This is wrong. Next time call the cops and preen after the arrest.

    • nowlo

      Too many coincidences. C’mon, Pagano’s clearly the guy. Though I do hope the reporter contacted the police.

      • jon

        just talked to cops, i told them about this story. no one bothered to tip them on this and creeps got an extra 24 hours to harass women.

        • vfiorillo

          Stop putting bad information out there. The cops are well aware.

  • Dana

    Ofcourse its him. Filthy slob.

  • Burgers

    this is the message my sister received from him 4 years ago (when she was 19 :/):

    “”

    mis_under_stood Today – 4:01am

    I have a food play fetish and I am looking for a girl willing and open to do it for me. I want to know if you would be willing, and if so, I would be willing to offer you $50 for doing it for me. This is what I am looking for, and my reasoning behind it:

    This is my fetish, and what my fetish is, is considered a food play fetish. What that means is food is use in either a sexual or non sexual way to provide sexual stimulation and or arousal and pleasure. I like when cheese is use in a sexual manner to provide arousal and pleasure, specifically Swiss cheese, although I am open to any cheese as well.

    I love the way Swiss cheese feels against my penis. Either as slices of Swiss cheese being wrapped around my penis or a chunk ofSwiss cheese being rubbed against my penis. I love even more when a woman uses the Swiss cheese to pleasure me. Or simply wrapsSwiss cheese slices around my penis and allows me to hang out with her as I wear the cheese.

    I prefer Swiss cheese over normal sex as a way of gratification because of a childhood condition. I had self esteem and weight problems as a child, that lead to lower self confidence and social treatment, out of which I had a hard time forming relationships with girls, or making friends.

    I have a big heart, and it was crushed time and again by the opposite sex, that and a very strong sex drive, well I am lucky I never became a rapist. My fetish grew out of desperation for sex with a woman. I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections, girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.

    I tried many different kinds of cheese, like American, Provolone, chez whiz, jack, and cheddar, but settled on Swiss as the best. First and foremost, if ever a picture of cheese is used, most of the time they use a representation of Swiss cheese. But also because of it’s eye patterns, texture, and the way it feels against my penis.

    So why you may ask do I want a girls to wrap Swiss cheese around my penis, well I still want the attention of girls, more so however is that I find a girls hands very sexy and it would provide arousal for me, as well as girls being attractive. I however enjoyed hands more so. The features I look for with a girls hands are long slender fingers, and milky complections, also I prefer small to medium hands, over large muscular hands. So if a girls hands fit what I was looking for, even if the girls was over weight or curvy, or even average looking, perfect hands is what I preferred. That also went both ways, a girl could be smoking hot, but if she had ugly hands, no way did I want her.

    So combine attractive Swiss cheese, that’s Swiss with a good pattern of eyes, sexy hands from a girl, who may or may not have been cute, being cute was always a plus, that and blond or red head, and I would get so hard it would hurt. If I managed to convince a girl of that caliber to do my fetish, then the feeling I would get from asking her, to her doing it for me, to me wearing the cheese, and final climax was like dying and going to heaven.

    I did later manage to go out with girls, and had normal relationships and normal sex, and I did like to have them do my fetish for me as well, but I have been doing my fetish for so long before hand, that it just felt better then sex. Also when I was younger I have more stamina, the cheese provided better pleasure then sex. I was able to wrap and wear a good 1 ½ pounds of Swiss cheese against my penis, and wear the Swiss cheese for hours at a time, before I would climax from just having the Swiss cheese on my penis.

    Some of the crazy things I used to do, was wrap a pound of slice Swiss cheese around my penis, wrap a bag around it, and secure it to my penis with rubber bands, then put my pants up, and go to local malls to check out the girls there. It was always my hope that a group of girls or a single girl would come up to me, and ask me about the bulge in my pants, in which I would tell her it was Swiss cheese, and ask if she was interested in doing it for me. It never happened tho.

    Now a days I prefer my fetish solely is because I am a diabetic, and as a diabetic I have developed erectile dysfunction. Even tho I can take medication for it, I simply can’t get sustained erections to have normal sex, just hard enough to have my fetish.

    Now some may think, why not just get treatment, so I have less desire, well I need testosterone to keep my blood sugars in control, but it also increases my sexual desires, to not use it would cause me to have high blood sugars.

    Now I am just addicted to it, like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. It’s like a drug, that I simple can’t get enough of. Everything leading up to asking a girl, to having it done is the high, then once I cum, is the low, but the low satisfaction is short lived. That is why I like to have girls wrap cheese around me, and allow me to wear it and hang out with them, it extends the high I get from the cheese being on my penis. I would much rather know a couple girls and have them do it to me as much as possible, I simple can’t get enough, however as of late my fetish has been getting me in trouble, because it seems the only girl I can get to do it for me are prostitutes. With the way the laws are set up around where I live, finding them has become nearly impossible.

    Now I did find a women who does my fetish for me, but she simply is not available enough to take care of my needs for Swiss cheesesex, also I do like kissing, and am still into normal sex as well. She only provide me with fetish services, also I like variety, so I want multiple partners to give me my fetish. Sometimes I get bored of the same person all the time. I like the reactions I get from new people doing my fetish for me, but they are just so hard to find these days. But I can’t live with out my fetish. So sometimes I will compromise with a women, give her sexual pleasure in return for doing my fetish on occasion.

    So now you know, it’s just so hard sometimes to talk to people, most of the time, I don’t even get the time of day from someone, but at least I am open and honest with my desires. As for me I will continue with what I like, given that it’s perfectly normal, odd but normal. Everyone has fetishes. One last note, I do not like cheese, except for mozzarella, and that is the one cheese I have never used on myself. So no I do not eat the cheese after I am done using it for pleasure, it is discarded. I am always asked that question too.”””

    • Aaron Porkstick Miller

      THAT>WAS>GREAT

    • dinabear

      Sent Me the same message

    • Heather_7
    • James McLarey

      Jack cheese….yeah….makes sense.

    • James McLarey

      He doesn’t eat the cheese afterward….SEE? He’s not weird!

  • Burgers

    this is from a message he sent to me 5 years ago:

    “”from: sexualfavorsto: me
    subject: question

    How much would it take to get you to do this for me??

    This is my fetish, full version.

    I love the way Swiss cheese feels against my penis. Either as slices of Swiss cheese being wrapped around my penis or a chunk of Swiss cheese being rubbed against my penis. I love even more when a woman uses the Swiss cheese to pleasure me.

    Reasoning behind the fetish.

    At one time in my life, I had a very hard time finding dates. For some reason I saw food couples as the same as people couples. Meat and cheese goes together like a man and a woman. So I had my penis play the meat, but used cheese as the woman. At first I used different cheeses, but later found the Swiss works the best for two reasons, first the way it feels. It feels just like if not better then sex, second it’s appearance. When girls think of cheese they tend to picture Swiss most of the time. So I preformed the fetish on myself, but later when my situation improved and I met girls and started dating, I would always ask them if they would try the fetish and got mixed reactions, but the ones who did do it, well I was hooked. It felt that good to me.”

    • Dem Feels

      You keep messages from 5 years ago?

      I don’t know what’s creepier….the cheese dude or that.

      • Burgers

        i don’t delete things. i archive them. have you ever used gmail?

  • dixhandley

    He’s kind of cheesy looking!

  • Becky

    Which is worse: the illegal flashing with the cheese, or the horrible grammar and punctuation in his letter? I can’t decide.

  • smf

    I have gotten like 4 messages from this guy before. Welcome to Philadelphia, boys and girls.

    • Kaliopov

      66% match?! That’d be enough to scare me off OKCupid right there.

    • TastyUrinalCake

      Isn’t his picture on Okcupid and his old facebook the exact same pic? I thought that would be enough for police to investigate this further..

  • Jack Cheese

    Swiss cheese should be outlawed before somebody gets hurt.

  • Carl

    It’s ironic that his Facebook name “blackstar” is the same symbol used to cover his penis.

  • Lori

    Why is it that people from philly are always like welcome to Philly, hes a sick prev they are every where not just Philly!!

  • koodabang

    WHAT.THE.FUCK O_o

  • Allie

    Here’s the message he sent me, and an instant message conversation from 5 years ago.

    “I am looking for a relationship built more on providing sexual pleasure then love. A friends with benefits kind of relationship, but not normal sex, instead I would want this. This is my fetish, full version.

    I love the way Swiss cheese feels against my penis. Either as slices of Swiss cheese being wrapped around my penis or a chunk of Swiss cheese being rubbed against my penis. I love even more when a woman uses the Swiss cheese to pleasure me. Or simply wraps Swiss cheese slices around my penis and allows me to hang out with her as I wear the cheese. However by no means would I have the girl eat the cheese off my penis, I only want you to use the Swiss cheese to pleasure me, then I would discard it when finished.

    I prefer Swiss cheese over normal sex as a way of gratification because of a childhood condition. I ADHD as a child, that lead to lower self confidence and mental treatment, out of which I had a hard time forming relationships.

    I have a big heart, and it was crushed time and again by the opposite sex, that and a very strong sex drive, well I am lucky I never became a rapist. My fetish grew out of desperation for sex with a woman. I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections, girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.

    I tried many different kinds of cheese, but settled on Swiss as the best. First and foremost, if ever a picture of cheese is used, most of the time they use a representation of Swiss cheese. But also because of it’s eye patterns, texture, and the way it feels against my penis.

    so why you may ask do I want a girl to wrap it around my penis, well I still want the attention of girls, my reasoning is that it’s easier to wrap cheese around my penis then it is to have sex. At least that is what I thought. That is not true, or I would get it all the time.

    I did later manage to go out with girls, and had normal relationships and normal sex, and I did like to have them do my fetish for me as well, but I have been doing my fetish for so long, it’s simply a part of my life now, but more so then ever presently.

    The reason why is that I am a diabetic, and as a diabetic I have developed erectile dysfunction. Even tho I can take medication for it, I simply can’t get sustained erections to have normal sex, just hard enough to have my fetish.

    Now some may think, why not just get treatment, so I have less desire, well I need testosterone to keep my blood sugars in control, but it also increases my sexual desires, to not use it would cause me to have high blood sugars.

    Now I am just addicted to it, like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. It’s like a drug, that I simple can’t get enough of. Everything leading up to asking a girl, to having it done is the high, then once I cum, is the low, but the low satisfaction is short lived. That is why I like to have girls wrap cheese around me, and allow me to wear it and hang out with them, it extends the high I get from the cheese being on my penis. I would much rather know a couple girls and have them do it to me as much as possible, I simple can’t get enough

    Lastly I used to have a woman who I had a fetish relationship with, she would give me my fetish when ever I had an urge, she is in an exclusive relationship now, so that is why I am searching for someone again. When I had my relationship with her, and trust me she was a rare gem, I could keep my fetish in control.

    So you see I had a woman that I would go to, to get my fetish fulfilled and we had an agreement that I would pay her a small fee for my fetish and I would usually see her once a month. The other thing was that she also enjoyed giving me my fetish, so the fee was just like a gift of sorts, and was not that important to her. That is what I would like to have with you if your interested, it could be a fee, or anything else we decided to agree on. Please let me know if your interested or not? So I can move on, if your not. Thank you for your time.”

    So, after spending an hour in the shower, trying desperately to clean those images from my brain, I logged back on. I honestly wasn’t sure how to deal with a message like that, so I figured that the best policy was just to ignore it, and laugh about it later. What I hadn’t counted on was this gent being persistent. No sooner had I logged on, than I saw OKCupid’s Instant Message function flash as me. The following conversation ensued. I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent.

    Cheese Guy: what radio shack do you work at? (my profile noted that I worked at radioshack)

    Cheese Guy: you don’t mind if I rub swiss cheese against my penis to your pictures do you??

    Me: YES I DO!

    Cheese Guy: why

    Me: erm…because I feel violated enough already with that message you just sent me?

    Me: reason enough?

    Cheese Guy: i guess so, i was hoping you would at least consider, i mean it’s only cheese

    Me: …

    Me: …

    Cheese Guy: i am willing to pay you to do it for me

    Me: that’s not the point.

    Cheese Guy: what is the point then

    Me: the point is that i don’t like being made into a sex object.

    Me: and i’ll thank you kindly to not pleasure yourself to my pictures, thank you very much.

    Cheese Guy: ok, i will stop, but if i did not pleasure myself to you, would you have considered my offer

    Me: no.

    Cheese Guy: ok, fine I stopped

    Me: wait…you were already doing it?

    Cheese Guy: doing what rubbing swiss cheese against my penis, yes I was

    Me: EW!

    Cheese Guy: i was getting close too, but i stopped, time to move on

    Me: Get help buddy.

    Me: Also, consider yourself reported.

    • Jessalyn Champignon

      I. Love. You. For. This.
      You’re my hero for saving that all this time, probably transferring that file 10x since then, and posting it. Oddly enough, my friend lives in Philly, and she said she received a very similar request on Craigslist. I don’t know if she saved hers, but I’m SO l that you did. It actually answered so many ridiculous questions I had about what in the actual f**k his process was. Swiss still doesn’t make sense. Oh, well. Bravo. You’ve officially done a far better job than your city’s police force, but that probably isn’t unusual in Philly.

    • Jessalyn Champignon

      Also, nothing screams *’Go meet up with a random stranger from the internet asking you to carry out his sexual fetish fantasies after emailing you his entire life story about aforementioned fetish’* like :
      “…well I am lucky I never became a rapist.”

  • areyouserious

    So now PhillyMag is in the business of posting pictures and names of individuals they suspect may have committed crimes despite no such charges being filed against them? If only they gave out an “instigating witch hunts” award for crappy journalism. Regardless of his seeming resemblance and probable guilt this is still highly irresponsible. Please reprimand or fire this individual and adopt some journalistic standards…or at the very least try to google some.

    • LeftFeather

      Are you implying there are two fat, deranged, Swiss cheese penis wrapping, women stalkers in Philadelphia?

      • dzsquared

        Shhhhhh…. I don’t want the cops to come looking for me.

      • pjcostello

        The fact that there MIGHT be, and that this person has neither been charged with a crime nor named as a suspect in any crime, make this absolutely irresponsible ‘journalism’ at its worst.

        • LeftFeather

          I heard the world MIGHT end tonight… I guess we’ll see, huh?

        • Chris Po

          This is awful journalism though – as was noted. It “may” be the guy, but we’ll show you this picture we snapped right as he opened the door even though he denies being that guy. And we were able to intercept some private okcupid messages too-take a look.

    • Ryan Searfoss

      We know that’s you, Chris.

  • Elizabeth McCarthy

    I can’t believe you took a picture of a guy and wrote this story without proof. If it isn’t this person, you have just pretty much screwed up his life. Would you like to have this done to you? You’re worse than the guy doing the cheese fetish. I’d sue your ass! If it is the guy, by all means, report about the story. But don’t put the face of someone out there and accuse him until you have proof. Talk about yellow journalism!

    • PokeyBug

      I’m just curious about your logic… If your car were stolen by someone, and that person was captured on video, would you object to a report on a guy who looks just like the car thief, but who the police didn’t seem to be pursuing? As someone who has been flashed in the past, I can say without a doubt that it is a bit like someone you don’t know walking up and smacking you in the face. I think all his victims would like to make sure he’s off the streets.

      • Dem Feels

        Does phillymag report crimes that identify race or simply “youths”?

  • Priscilla

    Thank you for posting my name and twitter account in this article without my permission

    • preesi

      Priscilla? if your account isnt private it is public domain. They dont hafta ask

    • johnnyrotten.

      If it’s news related they usually don’t need permission, at least with photographs that is the rule of thumb. And this is the interwebs were nothing is really private.

    • Jessalyn Champignon

      You do realize it actually belongs to Twitter if your account is public, right?

    • Hyde

      Sue em.

    • Not the Swiss Cheese Pervert

      Using your name and twitter wouldn’t require permission, the photo might be in a gray area.

    • LeftFeather

      Would you like some cheese with that whine?

      • http://chrissmari.org ChrissMari

        Not swiss cheese though!

    • Dem Feels

      Heavenly blessed beauty……I can imagine myself walking in the sunset, holding hands and smiling. Hearing the crash of the waves as a gentle breeze flows through my body and hair. Walking miles and miles, while the moon rises high into the sky. The whole world is asleep, but I am the only one living a dream. The graceful peace, settling into my heart. For once I actually feel alive. This is what it should feel like. This is how you’re supposed to live. A longing sense of comfort. And as we lay on the sand staring into the night sky, the stars become brighter and multiply. Soon enough, the dark sky is brightened by each star’s shine. We close our eyes, hand in hand and lie in a moment of silence when all we can hear in the background is the calm waves alining upon the shore and the light night breeze. We make a wish and lie together in a few more moments, appreciating each other for everything we are. We then both open our eyes to the diamond-like sky, staring for a brief moment as we then both turn to eachother, lying on our sides. I am looking into your eyes and you are looking into mine. I look at every inch of your body, then interlocking my eyes into yours once again. I inhale as you take a deep breath. I then begin to speak in a soft whisper. I tell you this is everything. You are all I’ve wanted. You were in all my dreams. You love me the way I wanted. You care for me like no one else has. I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me, everything you’ve spent on me, everything you’ve said to me and everything you’ve felt for me. You are the only one I want. I am in love with you. Please keep me forever. Locked away in the eternity of time. You are different. You give me ideas. Thoughts, feelings, unlived visions of places I’ve never been or never knew existed, walking beside you in every one. It may be simple to state how I feel about you and say I love you a thousand times, but it is all too complex to fully give you the understanding of the meaning of the immense amount of love and appreciation I have for you. I tell you you’re the one. You’re everything anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful to have you in my life. I love you. I then pause and look into your eyes. You don’t say anything. You can see the moon reflecting onto the calm ocean. A warm chilling feeling flows throughout my body as I watch you begin to slowly close your eyes and bring your body closer to me. Your face inching towards mine. As I close my eyes, I take one deep breath, tasting the chilled ocean air. I slowly bring myself closer to you, as you put your arms around me. I can feel your body heat and your soft hands touching my body. Our lips then touch. We kiss. Passionate, gentle, everlasting. This one kiss expresses all my thoughts, feelings, emotions and every little detail of every little existing idea, dream, form of all the words and feelings that I’ve developed for you. That moment, it was all unveiled. We lied there for minutes, sharing this dream we both created together. As we slowly move our faces away, I lay my head upon your shoulder and your arms around my body. The night had never seemed so bright and beautiful up until this day. It’s like the world turned and everything completely changed. Everything was clear and I can actually breathe and feel each beat of my heart pound against my chest, as the blood slowly flows through my body. I can feel, hear, touch, taste, see, smell and understand everything, in what now feels like what is heaven. Lifelessly floating on a cloud, feeling fully alive. The feeling of being so unrealistically content and that a perfect life and person can exist is far beyond anything I could have ever perceived. You are my savior and meaning for existance. I thank you for everything you will do and being there, always. We lie, staring into the sky feeling the air get colder as the night becomes later. It doesn’t bother me though. My body is filled with a warming sense of completion. Everything I’d dreamed of having is fulfilled, finally. I close my eyes and daydream once again of having and sharing this same exact moment with you. Soon enough the stars slowly fade away as the sky becomes lighter and the light of the sun pierces through the sky, slowly rising as time repeats itself once again. But this time is new. The feeling of being reborn into a life that you feel you’ve lived every single day. It feels so right. Life is beautiful with you. I appreciate things much more thoroughly. I love you. I always will.

  • BobSmith77

    I guess no one is going to eat his wonderful garlic cheese fondue dip at work anymore.

  • dzsquared

    His swiss cheese fetish is obviously caused by global warming.

  • Zombie Prep Network

    I found an alternative suspect

  • thegreatwent
  • PeterMcPumpkin

    This is not a gouda idea

    • ABoleynGirl

      It’s a feta-ish.
      Stop me before I say something about Jack cheese…

      • EarlSwiggins

        Leave this pervalone

        • AliceF

          He sounds like a real muenster.

  • ABoleynGirl

    I will never, ever, ever be able to look at Swiss cheese in quite the same way again.

  • dmcginity

    At least he isn’t into cigars in vaginas.

  • BurgerBurglar

    Does anyone have a screenshot of his okcupid profile, by any chance? I think it’s been deleted. I want to see what the hell he wrote there.

  • Guest

    Swiss cheese! What a sicko! America maybe, but not Swiss!

  • disqus_zXLbNfw1Yi

    Swiss cheese! What a sicko! American maybe, but not Swiss!

  • Vincent Smith

    POOR old Perv leave him alone, One a you ladiesTake him some pastrami and rye and have a ball!!

  • imarriedanaxemurderer

    I wondered how they put holes in that cheese.

  • Guest

    What a Munster!

  • ThomasVanHoesen

    He should move to Green Bay…..

  • E. Stud Baker

    I’m gonna just move on and pretend this story was just a dream….

  • onesoldiersmom

    I’m pretty sure with the small fortune this guy must have invested in cheese, over the years, he could have gotten professional help and perhaps gotten this situation under control. If he’s a criminal, he belongs in jail. If he’s hurt a child or someone else, he should rot in hell. Other than that, he’s a pretty pathetic excuse for a man. Sad and creepy all rolled into one.

    • JayNYC

      Why is this a “situation”? A lot of people have fetishes, and he’s right, this one is pretty vanilla. Nobody’s getting hurt. Charge him with indecent exposure, he certainly wouldn’t be the first one. And y’all know if this was someone who looked like David Beckham driving around, it would be a very different story.

  • APW

    I’d hate to think there are two of them out there.

    • Steve9099

      That look exactly the same too ha.

    • dzsquared

      Well, I’m planning on losing some weight.

  • Johnny Domino

    Why can’t you just leave the poor guy alone?

    Seems like a case of lactose intolerance.

  • MikeDR2012

    I can’t believe he’d do this to swiss cheese. It’s like the holiest of cheeses.

  • Geno

    Tube Steak “Wit or Witout”?

  • Warren Kennan
    • lgg

      better yet, there’s a black car and a white car parked out front and the offending photos in the article above, show a black car and a white car…..coincidence?????

  • Father Kelly

    Total munster..

  • anonymous

    That man is a muenster.

  • KeithInTampa

    Oh~~My~~Gawd! What a wacko! Glad he’s in Philly and not down here in Florida! (Probably an Eagles fan too!)

  • wayne strong

    Dude should have gone to Fetlife instead of okcupid, problem solved.

  • JA JA

    I wonder how many chicks posting old messages actually took him up on his offer? we know the chick who met him at the end of article did! lol!

  • anoneemusgirl86

    It’s him…I know. I’ve met him

  • Jake

    Christ. Just leave the guy alone. He hasn’t hurt anyone. He’s harmless.

    • Ferdinand von Liebestraum

      Agreed. It was unsporting for her to leak this and callous of the press to print it. Poor guy.

  • Horreurs Musicales
  • Sinan Ferit Tüzer

    yeah it’s the man

  • K Booze

    He was just looking for a “Gouda” Time

  • Silvia Squirre

    He needs to move to Wisconsin

  • UpHereAlone

    It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy!