Arthur Kade Profile

The most despised man in cyberspace right now is from Philly. Should we be proud of him, or ashamed?

The assignment was to read the script of a commercial for a mock Comcast advertisement. The Gishes gave the group five minutes to practice. Kade went to a corner and began reading passionately. He showed me how he marked the lines of the script with symbols to remind him to inflect each one differently.

Several people went before him, including the massive Italian guy and the large black guy and the female doctor, all of whom, I’m sorry to say, were quite bad. I’d never before fully realized how brutally the camera can reduce a person, and by the time it was Kade’s turn, I couldn’t help but wonder why any sane person would willingly subject himself to such an ordeal.

Kade appeared nervous. After handing me his camera to record him so that he could later post his performance on his blog, he stood at the front of the room and announced his name. Susan Gish called “Action!”:

Does this look like your phone bill? Ouch. With Comcast digital voice, you can get more phone service, for less! For as low as $39.95 a month, you get all this: unlimited nationwide calling, voicemail, and 12 great calling features — included! …

When he was done, he sat back down beside me. Immediately, he asked me what I thought. I told him he was great. I lied.


Here’s what I wrote in my notes: Wicked strong Philadelphia accent. Camera diminishes him. Not believable. Doesn’t feel conversational. Odd rhythm. And finally: Not a distinct enough personality. The Gishes, apparently, agreed; Susan Gish named one of the 14-year-olds the winner.

Kade was undeterred. In a blog post about the workshop, he wrote that he “nailed the read.” Claro, he wrote, “called me the next day and told me ‘They said you have a model look and tremendous talent; you’re born for the spotlight’… When I see that type of genuine reaction from professionals, I know I am born to do this.” (I called the Gishes to ask them their thoughts on Kade’s potential; they declined to comment.)

After the workshop that night, the aspiring actors made their way down the steps. It was one of the last cold nights of spring, with a bright white moon in the sky. Wearing the backpack for which he’d traded in his briefcase, Kade stood on the sidewalk. “People say I’m delusional,” he told me, “but I have to believe in myself. I’m living on a couch, and I’m happier today than I’ve ever been in my whole life.”

He plugged his iPod into his ears — was it the beat of “Eye of the Tiger” ringing out? — and began the long walk back to whatever couch he was sleeping on.

At that moment, it was possible to see Arthur Kade for everything he is — an unmitigated douchebag, to be sure, the poster boy for all that reeks about contemporary society and culture (the former businessman turned aspiring celebutard, forging a burr-hole through the cacophony that is the Internet), but a character at the same time entirely familiar, one wholly American, a modern-day Tom Joad setting out, sanguine to a fault, westward. And even if “The Journey” should end badly — even if it should end three years from now with little more to show for it than a few fleeting moments of background work recorded on celluloid — as far as Arthur Kade’s concerned, that will be enough.

As I drove across the city, I imagined him and the others — the middle-aged doctor, the massive Italian, the bald black man, the overzealous teenage girls — making their way home in the moonlight, all of them hoping, dreaming, for something other.

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  • Terry

    Ladies, run for your lives, lock up your daughters, and pray to God that you remain untouched by Arthur Kade.

  • Kade

    Lock up your daughters?? Please. This greasy slimeball couldn't buy sex with a female. And why would he, when he gets it all day for free from boys?

  • Flarkin
  • Hi Haiku

    The Great Kade CoasterUp and down the hill it goesRock bottom it ends.

  • LRegion

    Great Stuff!

  • Jack

    But overall, it seems he is a guy who put his life on hold to pursue a dream. Me? I want to chuck it all and play tennis for a living but at 55, well it's not happening.Who knows, stranger things have happened. The celebrity obsessed world we live in needs new celebrities to feed the machine. There are dozens of people out there who can't act yet go on to be famous (all graduates of the Lee Majors School of Acting)Good luck on your "Journey" Arthur I hope you make it.

  • Kade is

    Yes, Arthur, as Jack said, good luck on your Journey. Here's to hoping it leads in front of a SEPTA bus. Douchebag.

  • gross gross gross

    nasty, nasty, deranged, pathetic. This "man" is an insult to evolution. His views on women make me ill. This is a sad story.

  • Mark

    why is every one bashing this gay porn actor ? You are all a bunch of homophobes

  • Le Cosmonaut

    Philly, you've sealed the deal that guarantees I and my money will never come to your diseased little town while this [feminine hygiene product] still breathes air. Shame on your rag for giving this moron column space. Ironically, the city that gave birth to this nation is complicit in its moral and intellectual death. Nice job, you cheesesteak drooling idiots.

  • PapaKades

    Hi everybody!A new portal to abuse Kade opens.Happy Times.

  • Excalibur

    Philly, listen up: You will all want to meet Arthur Kade now, and might run into him around town. A word of advice for you – look for the man with enormous shoulders. His nose is large too, but the sheer enormity of his shoulders defines his presence, whether in a bar, in the park, or just sitting in his favorite eatery and pseudo-office, Cosi.

  • PapaKadesSweatyMitts

    Wait till I get you home Artie! Its the hammer and sycle for you!

  • Frank

    http://arthurkade.com/2009/04/20/greed-is-good/For those of you new to Arthur Kade, I'm sure you are all wondering if he's any good at acting. The answer is NO! Watch the videos linked above to see him perform the "Greed is Good" speech from the movie Wall Street. Grab a trashcan while you're at it, you'll need it, believe me!

  • Excalibur

    For those of you new to Arthur Kade, I'm sure you are all wondering if he's any good at acting. The answer is NO! Watch the videos linked above to see him perform the "Greed is Good" speech from the movie Wall Street. Grab a trashcan while you're at it, you'll need it, believe me!http://arthurkade.com/2009/04/20/greed-is-good/

  • Hes

    I figured Arthur was "that guy" who hung with the cool kids but was always on the periphery and not "one of them". His friends (the male ones at least) are pretty hot and seem to have successful careers. Then there's Arthur. Always wanted to be accepted, not even accepted by his parents, picked on in school, only person that loved him (and tried, unsuccessfully, to teach him to respect people/treat them with dignity) dies. He "fixes things" with daddy (who's got BIG issues), gets friends, a decent place, a nightlife, and creates this delusion that he thinks the whole world will admire and cheer onto success. Instead of acting like a human with feelings people could relate to, or at least not want to wound, he advertises this figment of his imagination as being his real life. And he gets the fame and attention he so desires… for being a loser that thousands of people assault with the meanest words imaginable.I despise Arthur Kade. But when I think of that abandoned, picked

  • Hes

    on, dorky kid with the pube fro and big nose, desperate for acceptance and for someone to love him…well, that shit makes me sad.

  • FACT CHECK

    "Kade’s blog went, practically overnight, from a few dozen readers to, according to him, hundreds of thousands."You can check that online…http://www.statbrain.com/www.arthurkade.com/Just over 6000 visits a day.

  • Chad

    He’s not who he portrays on his blog – he exaggerates himself and his exploits for effect. That so many people around the world take him so seriously and want to wish him harm is beyond me. Shit, I think he’s correct with most of the stuff he writes – I just put it down on a blog for people to read.I hope he makes it: stranger things have happened, no? If he doesn’t, he’ll probably just re-start his financial planning career and this will all be a footnote in his life. But a very narcissistic, self-absorbed, widely-disseminated one at that.

  • Marty

    (1) don't worry about your nose.The world is full of ski jumps. Don't be another one.(2) take singing lessons, seriously. I don't want to sing you say.So what. It will teach you how to breath and how to speak from your diaphragm. That alone will help you lose the "Philly Inflection" (3)spend a day a week and become someone you know. Walk like them, talk like them and get every nuance down pat.Choose someone different every week.

  • Mark

    Based on the comments on his site, one of the factors fanning the flames is that he's presented a mission statement in which he declares that he wants to lead a "genuine" life and become an actor. Meanwhile, he reports on a life filled with with inane thoughts about superficial things, boasting about how much he parties, etc. He has no credibility. If he was auditioning for plays instead of trying to become infamous, it would be another story altogether.

  • art
  • art

    iowntheworldDOTCOM/blog/?page_id=6scroll 4 videos down

  • mark

    It seems that he feels entitled to become famous, just because that what he wants. He makes outlandish claims about people constantly complimenting his looks, style, attitude, etc. In his videos, he speaks in monotone, is inarticulate, dresses badly, carries a kid's backpack, and doesn't actually appear to be very good looking. He speaks of his fans and all the attention he receives, when of the 200 or so comments his site receives daily, 99% percent are critical with most being downright vitriolic. The guy just comes off as a total joke.

  • MaGGIE

    its because of posers like this, along with his friends GN Kang, Marissa Rosen, etc. etc. They believe that success is not the result of hard work, dedication and honing your craft: it is the result of partying, seeing and being seen, fake boobs and fake lives. Arthur Kade is the King of fakeness and gives the genuine actors, artists and "celebrities" of Philadelphia a bad name.

  • Loser Recruiter

    "Kade’s blog went, practically overnight, from a few dozen readers to, according to him, hundreds of thousands." The key phrase here is ACCORDING TO HIM. The real number is 6,300 or so, 6,000 of which are from Arthur himself.

  • John "The Snake"

    Loser Recruiter – You are good to post this information. Arthur is obviously confusing site hits with individual viewers. There's no chance that hundreds of thousands of people are reading his blog. It might be individual page hits, which could very well be true, because no doubt people are refreshing the site constantly to see the latest comments. If hundreds of thousands of people were really reading his site, the comments section would reflect that: there's never been much more than 200 comments on any post, and most are likely from the same dozen or so people posting under different names. Nice try Arthur, but nobody believes a single thing you say.

  • Artie

    This guy is a complete joke and will realize that he's an epic failure.

  • Claire

    Wow, I'm aghast at the nerve of this guy. Eight years of weekly psychotherapy? Really? Looks like it did nothing but turn him into a complete psycho!

  • Tyler

    want a similiar story .. .check out the bi-polar Tyler Durden http://twitter.com/TyIerDurden

  • O-Tay!

    His site doesn't generate that much traffic at all – according to Alexa he only reaches 0.0014% of internet traffic, 0.000061% of all page views, 33.3% of all visits only execute 1 page turn and spend an average of 6 minutes on the site. Not the internet sensation he thinks he is… http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/arthurkade.com

  • George

    What Arthur Kade fails to realize, is that to 99.9% of the world he looks like a mid-30s man, with features reminiscent of something that was dragged out of a swamp. The enormous bloated shoulders… the swollen nose, the horrid acne, the chapped lips that look like scales on the side of a swamp trout, the legs that look like deflated fajita meat, the fingers that look like they were chewed by piranha, and the hair that looks like moss caught in a shrimping net.

  • P.D.

    In Philly, a city of crumb-snatcher, this self-abuser will be welcome. Who in all of Philly is doing anything as entertaining as this cretin? Nobody. More's the pity.

  • Why Mr. Platt?

    Why would Philly Mag give Arthur Kade a page of type? Is he that interesting? He is all that is wrong with this city and society today and by this article he believes you have glorified him. Philly Mag is no better than Arthur Kade! I am sorry that your editors and publishers have to consider this journalism.

  • Mick

    Great article. Here's Arthur's problem. He's just an average guy (by every standard) who doesn't stand out in a crowd. Because of his blog, he is getting attention, notoriety and special treatment. This WILL fade, after a few months. I mean, even American Idol winners lose steam after a while and that's the #1 show in the USA. Arthur isn't going to know what to do with himself once the attention fades. This is all cute and funny now, but what's going to happen once the blogging stops? He'll be a 30 year-old with adult acne, a lisp, a backpack, no job and sleeping on someone’s smelly couch. A few words for you Arthur: BACK UP PLAN.

  • Michele

    As a local, I enjoy Philly Mag & read all the articles – including this one. Sure I thought a lot of what I read was disturbing, and as a girl am disgusted by the way he apparently treats women *as objects*, but honestly it's all just very sad …then to go online, hearing stories about the feedback the article is getting… & this too is just as disturbing & sad! I have never commented on anything before but I was blown away by people's responses. I just don't understand who you people are to pass such judgment? I bet more than half the people talking trash & wishing him death have never even met him! Might he very well be a loser? sure…maybe, I don't know him. But it's just sad to see that people can have so much hate & anger over something so dumb. Let's get mad about the other, more important things going on in the world & leave this guy to his dream. Success or no success.

  • Brutus

    Yeah, it’s impossible to feel bad for this numnuts. Only a complete a-hole would create a website about what a huge celebrity he is and how he’s the best actor since Lawrence f-ing Olivier, calls himself a “Philly A-lister”, talks about women like they’re not human, lies and says he’s slept with the most beautiful women in the world, says he lives “like people do in 3rd world countries” because he sleeps on a couch instead of in a bed and goes out to clubs every night, eats at the f-ing Continental every night, takes 1000 pictures of himself every day, refuses to admit to everyone that he loves men even though we all know it already… I mean, that’s just the short list. He deserves all the ridicule that we can dish out!

  • mark

    I have been in the elevator with this guy on many occasions. He talks on his cell-phone way to loud, like everyone in Conshohocken wants to hear him talk about some hot girl who didnt shave correctly. Furthermore this tard is "poor". Maybe not financially, but "just a poor person". oh yeah, he is a tool too.

  • John

    How can you seriously wonder if this guy is a waste of space? For months he has had kind people actually try and talk him down off of his insane ego trip, only to bask in the attention of people calling him a douchebag more times a day than most people get in their lives. This guy is hopeless and sad, you people should all be ashamed at laughing at the dancing monkey. You wouldn't let your downs syndrome kid out on the internet with a webcam to laugh at them, and this is exactly the same.

  • Cyclone

    If you have to tell people you are famous, you're probably not. If you have to tell people how cool you are, you're probably not. It is ludicrous how this guy refers to himself as a "household name" and claims to be known "worldwide."What gives him proof of this? A few thousand very skewed hits to his blog, because the same people are viewing it over and over? He is doing little more than grossly overcalculating some brief, low-level Internet notoriety and pretending that he is all of these things. A "household name…" Please. Where? Nobody on a mainstream level has any idea who this guy is: no national magazine modelling, no national or international press coverage. No speaking parts in any films. Only been an extra. Not a single person that matters in the movie industry will ever know about him. It's truly sad to witness such dilussion; but I'm along for the ride because I will enjoy few things as much as watching this blow up and end badly, at which point I will laugh more tha

  • joe

    I don't buy this schtick at all. But this is a pretty fascinating media project!

  • Erin

    Thanks to Dan Lee for quoting my Cosi experience in his article. I'll be using that for my own personal profile, proving that I'm published. Ha!

  • Rudy

    I went to the same northeast schools as Arthur growing up, and while we were never really friends, we were friendly enough. One bizarre thing I've discovered while reading his blog (and it's also briefly mentioned in this article) is Arthur's claims that he was some kind of tough guy or bully growing up. In fact, the opposite was closer to the truth. I think I remember him mentioning at the time that he took karate classes, but so did a lot of suburban and northeast Philly kids. Taking lessons at a Tae Kwon Do chain school never equaled "badass" on the streets or in the playground. Though Arthur was very much the smack talker, he often seemed to lie about the strangest things, usually involving expensive clothes that he owned yet never seemed to wear to school. We all saw him for the insecure, overcompensating kid he was. He was, and still remains, a strange dude — though harmless. I wish him the best of luck.

  • Hater

    How do you say douche in Russian. I say we start a petition to have him deported.

  • Claire

    Wow Philadelphia Magazine, you should be SO PROUD of yourselves. You've basically given publicity and magazine space to a fame-seeking, narcissistic, sexist, misogynistic, jerk who in no way whatsoever represents our great city. It is a travesty to have read about this person in an otherwise great magazine. His blog is a disgusting series of tall-tales meant to elevate him to some sort of personal glory. It's a real shame this magazine had to feature someone like this.

  • Chris

    This guy is such a complete d-bag. How can someone be so utterly delusional to believe he has a chance to be a Hollywood actor? Do you know how many people could have been fed with the money this wanker has thrown away on a retarded dream. Please Arthur, stop shaming the city and go away.

  • M

    People seem to be treating this as if it is for real. It is satire & brilliantly done. Hype him up. It says more about ourselves and our celebrity obsessed culture than it does about him

  • sarah

    I dont uderstand why this guy thinks hes so amazing. He is just as if not more annoying than Heidi and Spencer on the Hills. I see him out all the time and hes not even good looking. I don't know why he thinks he will ever be a famous actor. No one in the acting world will take this fool seriously. He so annoying and needs to get a real job and life. Go away!!!!

  • Ty

    Tucker Max has been doing this for years.And he's a helluva lot funnier

  • Dark

    …peed in a horse once

  • DarkSock

    Arthur Kade peed in a horse once

  • Jennifer

    I still gotta admire him going after the dream, in a way.That said, yeah, I'm glad he doesn't live in my town, 'cause he'd call me a 1.

  • Stacie

    I LOVE Philadelphia magazine and always thought that "it" people were featured in this magazine. Now I realize, Phillymag has become lazy just as every other publication losing money due to the influx of traffic on the internet has. Instead of paying these lazy "writers" to write about controversial people, why not pay them to write controversial articles about topics they themselves "create." Reporting on this type of "train wreck" doesn't seem like journalism at all. Dan P. Lee should start penning beach books like Jennifer Weiner and parlay them into film options of really poor movies.

  • Doc

    Sadly, most of us have known an “Arthur” in our lives. I remember a few from jr. high and high school. You had no reason to make fun of them – if you were a nice person – but they just existed on the fringe of the outcast crowd. They tried and tried and tried to be accepted by the cool kids. They weren’t accepted by the non-cool kids. They had their parents buy them the clothes, the shoes, the look, but the personality just never evened out to match it.

    I think Arthur was like this years ago, and has spent the better part of a decade improving himself with the goal of finally being a “cool kid.” He’s just never really figured out exactly who he is, because his entire life is being something he’s not. He’s still an outcast, still an aimless oaf constantly looking to impress everyone around him, and doing so in the most annoying of ways. He takes the pictures with random girls to create a catalog of “proof” that he is someone. By accumulating the photos and posting them for others to

  • Doc

    see, he’s validating his “cool” status. But it’s all fake, and everyone can see it.

    His lies, oh his lies! They are endless, they are obvious, they are ridiculous. Like the one in the video showing his class photo on the wall at his relative’s house. How he said that many people in the NYC modeling industry told him it was the “best photo they’ve ever seen.” If you saw it, it looked like something from the 40s. Horribly unmodern and just not in style at all. Not even attractive looking.

    The braggadocio is amusing and all, but it’s just a facade that hides a miserable, constantly-looking-for-acceptance boy who never quite got the grasp of being humble and honest.

  • Chris

    Arthur Kade is living out the American Dream. An American who says otherwise is only adding perfect irony to a wonderful story, correction, Journey.

  • Kade
  • Greg

    Its all a pooor mans Andy Kaufman act- G-N Kang from whatever awful radio station she works for is the ghostwriter of his blog and "creator" Way to validate it, Philly Mag!

  • lego
  • Kimberly

    I am hotter than this guy LMAO!!!!!!!! This is funny so funny this guy is a TOOL ppl can you Tool Academy! Quick get the guys from Tool Academy to take this one down XD XD And as far as him fucking women…that’s what his blow up doll and hand are for, I wouldn’t touch this man with a ten foot pole then again I’m not normally attracted to white boys anyways!

  • Radda Radda

    The American dream is to accomplish something, not to pretend you have. He isn’t living it. He couch surfs, parties every night with the same group of people, is an actor who hasn’t acted, has no regard for women as humans, is deluded about his worth, is overwhelmingly despised or pitied, is laughed at and sneered at…that is NOT the dream most Americans have!!

  • Sean

    This guy is the biggest piece of shit I have ever encountered. Talk about a delusional jerk off whos entitlement is off the charts. I want to light his face on fire and put it out with a shovel.

  • Toni

    I like Arthur Kade… the more I read of him and what he says the smarter I feel… what an oxygen thief LMAO

  • FISFALL

    You make case histories in my text book on abnormal psychology come alive.