Diary of a Marriage: My 2013 New Year’s (Marriage) Resolutions

Here, my annual Life and Marriage Resolutions, which I will most likely break by February. Cheers!

Diary of a Marriage: My 2013 New Year’s (Marriage) Resolutions


{Ed. Note: In 2010, Em declared her first ever list of marriage resolutions. They’re here. Last year, she re-presented those 2010 resolutions to J., that he might grade her on how she did. His verdict on her wifely success is here. This year, I requested she write these resolutions without revisiting the ones she’s written before. Notice any repeats?}

  1. I will cook more. I will learn how to use the oven.
  2. I will watch less Bravo TV.
  3. I will try really, really hard to stay awake during long car rides.
  4. I will not read emails or play Solitaire while we are at a basketball game.
  5. I will wake up earlier(ish) on Saturday mornings so that J. and I can spend time together.
  6. I will not hit snooze for two hours before actually turning my alarm clock off.
  7. I will stop telling J. to buy things at the grocery store that I know I won’t eat.*
  8. I will stop wearing uncomfortable shoes complaining about the uncomfortable shoes that I wear.
  9. I will stop going out for lunch when I have a Lean Cuisine in the fridge (See #7.
  10. I will stop shopping.**
  11. I will stop lying about shopping.
  12. I will kiss J. more.
  13. I will stop being a backseat driver. Unless I really do know where we’re going.
  14. I will work on being on time.***
  15. I will finish taking all the bikram yoga classes I signed up for last spring.
  16. I will stop eating gluten because I think I may be allergic to it.****
  17. I will drink more water and, when J. confronts me about not drinking enough water, I will not dump it into our planters behind his back.
  18. I will stop publicly forcing J. to hold the itsy-bitsy babies of our friends because I know this makes him uncomfortable. And I know he will hold them like a droopy sack of potatoes.
  19. I will take the early train home more often.
  20. I will stop lying about turning up the heat. (J., I know it’s, like, 82 degrees in our house right now. That was me, and not a finicky thermostat. Sorry.)
  21. I will work harder at keeping the plants I’m in charge of alive. [Note: J. waters the downstairs plants, and I’m in charge of the upstairs ones. Guess which are dying.]*****
  22. I will say ‘I love you’ more.******

*I will start eating things like kale.

**No, I won’t.

***When I do run late, I will not force J. to drive 147 miles an hour to make up for it.

****I will stop self-diagnosing.

*****I will buy new plants to replace the ones that I’ve killed fake plants.

******Hey, J., I love you.

Do you and your groom make marriage resolutions at the beginning of every new year, as well as general life ones?

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