5 Things to Worry About Now That the Election Is Over

The presidential race preoccupied us for months and months. Finally, we have time to fret about everything else!

If you’re anything like me, you don’t have any finger nails left after Election Day. I gnawed mine down to nubs watching returns. I knew for months that I was worried about the presidential election, but it wasn’t until Wednesday morning when I woke up, relieved to know Barack Obama was back in the White House, that I realized how much I’d been worrying.

I’m a nervous person by nature. My type-A personality allows me to look for things to fret about—everything from wondering if a headache means I have a brain tumor to spending 30 minutes composing a five-sentence email to a colleague—so it’s no surprise that the presidential race heavily weighed on my thoughts. But, now that it’s over and I can breathe a sigh of relief that my candidate won, I’ve started worrying about other newsy issues—and I bet you are, too. Tell me what’s keeping you up at night in the comments.

The Eagles and Andy Reid
A friend joked that while standing in line to vote on Tuesday, he met a bunch of South Philly neighbors of all ages and races. They didn’t agree on anything, except one thing: that Andy Reid should get fired. I’m worried it won’t happen. (Again.) Can we bear another losing season?
The Sandusky/Armstrong Effect
Does the world still have true heroes? In the last year, we lost faith in two men who were, at one time, deemed to be great: pedophile scumbag Jerry Sandusky and serial cheat Lance Armstrong. (And don’t even get me started on charity scammer Wyclef Jean.) These were individuals who were considered to good men, strong men, giving men. Many people looked up to them as role models. Then, their lies, mistakes and crimes were exposed and they fell from the pedestals upon which the public had placed them. I fear that we’re losing our heroes one by one. Who’s next? Bruce Springsteen? Michael Jordan? I couldn’t handle it.
Chris Christie
If you had asked me about Chris Christie two weeks ago, I would’ve grimaced and groaned. I don’t agree with much of his politics, but in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, I’ve found new respect for the Republican governor from New Jersey. Throughout the brunt of the storm, I found myself disarmed by his frank speech and endeared to his honest, sad reactions to Shore damage. For the first time, I understood why people found him charismatic and thought of him as a person I could potentially vote for. If I can change my mind about Chris Christie, what will happen to my opinion about other Republicans? Am I secretly a Republican? What if it turns out I like Donald Trump? This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.
Until today, I’ve been able to block out the impending stress of Christmas, but then the very first tinkling of “Jingle Bells” blared into my ears as I waited in line at CVS. It may as well have been the theme from Jaws. It’s cooooooooming is what my brain screeched at me. I love the holiday—especially the cookies and presents part—but fretting about what to buy, where to buy it, and how to afford it makes me a little dizzy. Is it really time to think about that again?
In the last couple years, Philly has had an earthquake, the Jersey Shore has been decimated by a hurricane, and as I type this, a snowy nor’easter is slamming into the East Coast of the United States. In the immortal words of Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys 2: Shit just got real. What’s next? And more importantly, how is it possible that there are people out there who don’t believe in global warming?