Pulse: Neil Stein Eats Iceberg Lettuce

Rick Mariano is a man who likes to eat, so as he’s sentenced to prison this month, we wrote our town’s most notorious restaurateur and fellow federal convict, Striped Bass and Rouge creator Neil Stein, and asked what Mariano can expect in the mess hall. He wrote back.

On poultry:

“The chicken à la king is SCARY … the bones inside are actually black (p.u.).”

On the kitchen staff:

“Young fellow in kitchen who is one of my brothers makes good rolls and great cornbread.”

On presentation:

“There’s plastic flatware. The trays are plastic … and you have to inspect first to make sure it is clean and dry. The brothers taught me that quick.”

On seafood in the joint:

“Forget about it. A breaded fried square with something gray inside.”

On canine nutrition:

“I wouldn’t feed the roast beef to Striper my dog on his worst day. Wow.”

On keeping his figure:

“I eat a lot of beans, rice, lots of iceberg lettuce. Corn Flakes, as much as possible.”

On food shopping:

“I go to the commissary and buy tuna, Chicken of the Sea, and I use it as money to pay someone to do my laundry.”