Secret talent alert: I’m a low-key makeup artist, with years of experience glamming women up for weddings, proms and big events, and I’m always in search of the best products to use on my clients. All the mania surrounding Kylie Jenner’s debut cosmetics line definitely had me intrigued — and I wasn’t alone. Every restock since the first Kylie Lip Kit release back in November of last year has sold out lightening-fast; her latest product release earlier this week allegedly “broke Google” (and also leaked buyers’ personal information). People are so desperate to get their hands on the makeup,they’re even buying used lip kits on Ebay and Poshmark for two to three times the original price of $29. (First of all: What?! Secondly: Ew.)
With the help of my gracious coworker Ginny, a proud owner of not one but three Kylie Cosmetics products, I volunteered as tribute to find out if all the hype around the Kylie makeup is actually founded. Here’s how a few days in the life of Kylie-lipped me went down (after I stopped rolling my eyes at her gloss reveal music video):
Day 1: Kylie Lip Kit in Kourt K
10:38 am: Here goes nothing. I take out the liner and gloss, which constitute the “kit.” Lining first is easy, but the liquid matte gloss is a little hard to control. It also dries within five seconds, so there’s no margin for error. Suddenly, my lips look huge. I might have accidentally channeled my inner Kylizzle a little too hard. I’m kind of feeling the look, though.
10:43 am: Damn, this stuff is dry. It feels like a thin coating of chalky plastic on my lips.
11:08 am: Holy flaking in my mouth — is this stuff safe to ingest? Because I’m eating a lot.
12:47 pm: After scrubbing in the bathroom, this pigment will not wash off my fingers. Teeth check reveals more flaking. Looks like I just ate a poppyseed bagel. Nice. Also, my inner bottom lip looks starkly pink against the receding edge of the dark purple.
2:24 pm: Post-lunch check-in: Most of the color isn’t budging, but chunks of pigment are missing on my bottom lip. Pleasantly surprised there’s no color bleed at the outer lining of lips, probably because this stuff is shellacked on.
3:30 pm: Company happy hour’s about to go down, but I resist reapplying. Everyone I talk to keeps looking at my mouth. Also, there are black specks in my margarita.
3:57 pm: COWORKER SAYS IT LOOKS LIKE I GOT PUNCHED IN THE MOUTH AND THE BLOOD DRIED.
5:11 pm: I head to the bathroom to remove this lip. Ten minutes and four wet paper towels later, I give up. It’s not coming off. I reapply, and now my lips somehow look even bigger than before.
9:37 pm: Praise the Lord for makeup wipes. It all comes off surprisingly easy with the wipe, but now my lips are stained a bright hot pink.
Day Two: Kylie Gloss in Literally
7:20 am: Just noticed dark purple smeared into the seat of my brand new car—definitely some flaky pigment residue from yesterday’s hot mess. Thanks a lot, KyKy. I officially hate you.
2:02 pm: I’ve put off trying this until 2:00 pm because after the last product, I’m a little scared. Initial thoughts at first gloss swipe: This smells like a dream. But also washes out my makeup-less face beyond belief—must apply a full face immediately.
3:36 pm: With some color on my cheeks, I actually love this shade. It’s a punched-up nude, and a much softer look than yesterday’s “dried blood” look.
6:50 pm: The gloss wears super well: non-sticky, yet still is pigmented and shiny after a full day without touch-ups. This is clearly a better product than yesterday’s—so good, in fact, that I might try to get my hands on one at the next frenzied gloss release. Dare I say it’s one of the best glosses I’ve ever tried? I mean, an all-day wear without a reapplication? That’s unheard of.
Day Three: Kylie Lip Kit in 22
8:45 am: This shade is a pretty, bright brick red, and is much easier to apply than the Kourt K shade.
9:30 am: 22 wears much more naturally than I was expecting. The formula sinks into my lips and feels almost like a second skin. I’m digging this one a whole lot more than I thought I would.
10:37 am: The color is staying in great condition, minus a little fallout below the bottom lip.
1:20 pm: Lunch break caused a little bit of wear and tear on the inner lining, but I’m still really impressed with this formula. The only time the product starts to feel a little heavy is after I reapply, but there’s no flaking whatsoever, unlike Kourt K.
The takeaway: Skip the Kylie Lip Kit in Kourt K entirely; Shade 22 is a much better buy. If you’re going to buy one Kylie Cosmetics product, definitely go for the gloss. There are tons of other great options out there for long-wearing, less-drying matte lipsticks, but a good gloss is hard to find.
A few days ago, Kylie took to Snapchat to announce a new batch of three metallic liquid matte shades coming out for Coachella to add to the buzz. While it might be the flakiest, most drying product on the planet, it does look pretty gorgeous on Khloe below. Only time will tell—and even if it does, I’m sure it will keep selling out because (like it or not) Kylie is an absolute social media genius.