#PopeReads: Francis’s Debut Album Drops in November

His Holiness is becoming the king of all media.

Each day during his trip, we’ll bring you some of our favorite stories about Pope Francis’ visit to the United States from other media outlets.

Pope Francis to Release Pop-Rock Album ‘Wake Up!’,” Daniel Kreps, Rolling Stone

Yesterday, I wrote about Catholic ambient dubstep. The same day, news broke that Pope Francis is actually releasing a pop rock album.

“Wake Up! Go! Go! Forward!” finds Pope Francis addressing a South Korean audience in English last year amid atmospheric synths, trumpeting horns and skyscraping electric guitars reminiscent of Godspeed You! Black Emperor. “Wake up / Wake up,” Pope Francis says on the track. “The Lord speaks of a responsibility that the Lord gives you / It is a duty to be vigilant / Not to allow the pressures, the temptations and the sins to dull our sensibility of the beauty of holiness.” Later on the moving track, the Pope tells his audience, “No one who sleeps can sing, dance and rejoice,” as he urges them to wake up and go.

The track actually premiered on Rolling Stone. I eagerly await to see what score the pope gets from Pitchfork.

Even on Wall Street, Pope Francis attack on ‘idolatry of money’ strikes a chord,” Harriet Sherwood, The Guardian

Pope Francis spoke in New York yesterday before coming to Philly this morning, and he continued his attack on modern-day capitalism. In New York! This continues to be amusing.

But in and around Wall Street this week, people were warmly receptive to the pope’s message. “Capitalism is not the reason why there’s so much dung around,” said attorney Thomas Gray. “But there is hugely unequal distribution of wealth, opportunities and incentives. There are extremes that need to be addressed.”

Yes, people like this pope so much even rich people in New York are enjoying his messages.

Bill Maher Slams ‘Caveman’ Pope Francis For Being Anti-Gay and Anti-Women,” Marlow Stern, Daily Beast

But not everyone! If you can believe it, Bill Maher is not a fan of Pope Francis.

Well, it doesn’t get juicier for Real Time host Bill Maher than sad Republicans and organized religion, so the political satirist naturally had a field day, announcing, “the last time a guy in a dress got this much attention it was Caitlyn Jenner.”

Transphobic jokes aside, he continued: “But who knows what’s in a man’s heart! Boehner has always been terrible on immigrants, terrible on the environment, and the ultimate crony capitalist ‘til the Pope comes to town and basically shits on everything he stands for,” said Maher. “Maybe hearing Francis speak, he decided to devote his life to helping the poor and fighting climate change. No. He’s going to be a lobbyist for Volkswagen. Maybelline discontinued his shade of bronzer and he had to quit.”

Jokes! Maher later compared him to Rick Santorum. Which makes sense: They’re both Catholic!

Pope Francis Moves Believers And Skeptics Alike,” Scott Simon, NPR

But others are more convinced by this pope than Maher is.

I felt and even heard my knees begin to shake. My throat and eyes filled. I heard myself say, out loud, so God and my own ears could hear it, “Please forgive me for ever having been a skeptic.”

Personally, I just feel like I’ve been at a high school CYO retreat all week, but I remain open to being moved later this weekend.

Horrified Pope Calls Philadelphia Humanity’s Greatest Sin Against God,” The Onion

This is very funny.

“In my travels, I have seen countless examples of man’s inhumanity toward his fellow man, the most utter wretchedness, and the vilest iniquity, but in this place and in these people I see a darkness blacker than all the world’s evils. God has fled this town,” said the ashen-faced pontiff, recoiling in disgust from the assembled crowd while describing the Philadelphia metro area as “the only corner of Creation where the light of the Lord does not shine.”

The Onion has another story today, too: Pope Francis Washes Feet of Phillie Phanatic.