Artisanal Liqueur Jumps The Shark With Spodee!

Do you plan your cocktail hour 20 days in advance? Are you just cuckoo for quasi-historical alcoholic novelties? Be honest now… Have you been pining for a wine-like beverage that both your hipster and hillbilly friends can feel equally patriotic about?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, mark May 9 on your calendar. Because according to a press release I received this afternoon, that will be your first chance to catch a whiff of Spodee. Well, the attached invitation actually requested an RSVP, so you might have to arrive impersonating a member of the food media, but that’s not hard. Just show up rubbing your gut and arguing about ramen.

But anyway, back to Spodee. The press release is… is… oh, fuck it. Years from now, when pop-culture historians are trying to zero in on the moment when the artisanal liqueur business finally jumped the shark, they could not land on a richer document. Check it out, in all its exclamation-pointed glory:

I hope you can join me on May 9th, for the launch of Spodee!  Spodee isn’t your average wine; it is a wine fortified with high proof moonshine, that you mix into cocktails, like a spirit!

Historically inspired Spodee harkens back to a Depression era hooch that was a deceptively strong, sweet, easy-to drink beverage made from a mix of country wine and whatever else was lying around the farm-fruits, herbs, spices and of course moonshine. Typically, it was made in trashcans or bathtubs and served at parties and backwoods get-togethers. This version is a potent 36 proof and comes in an old timey milk bottle. The kind the milk man used to deliver! Spodee will become available for purchase in PA and NJ stores in early May.

I know what you’re thinking: Dude, how could I have I dropped my last $22 to get Hipstamatic in time for the Rolly Derby doubleheader when I could have spent it on this?!?

I mean, what could be more awesome than “country wine” and moonshine mixed with “whatever else was lying around”? Um, duh: Country wine and all that shit mixed up in a trashcan! And delivered in old timey milk bottles! By a milk man who, even at this very moment, is heading next door to bonk the neighbor’s wife after a splash of Spodee and OJ.  Or “Spodee N’ Sody,” because as the website says: “Cola, sasparila [sic], orange, cream… Is there a soda pop flavor Spodee doesn’t mix well with?”

Now, I can’t yet attest to how Spodee tastes. But come on, does that even matter for a fortified wine that’s got its own trucker hat?

By this point everyone knows (or should know) that liquor companies distill nothing quite so skillfully as marketing mythology. But you’ve got to give it to Spo-Dee-O-Dee, LLC. It’s one thing to spin yarns about beret-wearing Alp dwellers handpicking blossoms to make elderflower liqueur. It’s quite another to work that mojo on a beverage that sounds like nothing quite so much as wine-cooler concentrate.

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  • for once!

    For once Foobooz is spot on and not kissing “artisan”(or shall we say, marketing exec’s) ass!

    I can just feel the 20 something marketing/pr intern freaking out right now…”We’re in authenticity crisis mode!”

    But don’t worry dear readers, Foobooz will still fetishize gourmet deviled eggs or ‘crafted’ south philly doughnuts or contrived Chinatown cocktail bars, etc…etc…

  • For Twice

    But when Hop Sing Laundromat starts carrying it Foobooz will be IN LOVE with Spodee, eight posts a day,

  • mark

    When Hop Sing Laundromat starts carrying it? That copy sounds like Lee wrote it. Lee probably created that shit.

  • http://www.rowhomeeats.com Row Home Eats

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who was a little weirded out by the concept.

  • Cristinia

    How about this: “When did Foobooz jump the shark?”

  • ItsFine

    I think the ad copy is fine. Trey, keep your tired worthless opinions to yourself. This ad is called “marketing”. Gather some of your poseur friends and watch MadMen until you understand. People in America enjoy marketing Poopster

  • Joh Hamm(n)Cheese

    Sorry ad guy, I’m gonna go with Trey on this one…the pitch on this is headache-inducing.

  • Roger

    Someone’s envelope must have been a little light this week. Maybe if they ran more ads with Philly Mag it would win “Best of Philly”. The ad seems ok, a pretty neat story for getting toasty.

  • rory

    You know what that ad copy sounds like to me? it sounds like a guy who made a liqueur by himself and didn’t hire a PR firm to tell it to tone his enthusiasm down a bit (and it’s pretty easy to find out that the wine was created by a new local company with a couple google searches). So awesome job sh*tting on a local guy who created a new beverage by himself just to feel better about yourselves and how you don’t take no sh*t in ad copy!

    A tip to keystone libation’s: talk to Le…then foobooz would be fawning over the newest, most authentic homage to prohibition era drinking in the city, i’d bet. Actually, don’t–I’d prefer not to hear about 10 different dates in which your fortified win will be available, how awesome it is on a free tasting, and then it never be available. that’s when artisanal cocktails actually did jump the shark.

  • Brian

    Isn’t this marketed by the same Philly lifestyle company that branded Sailor Jerry, Hendrick’s, AITA, et? I’d say its a slam dunk, whether or not it has jumped the Foobooz shark.

  • rory

    @ brian–good catch. it is being marketed by quaker city mercantile. which makes it all the funnier that foobooz is hating, considering how much it loves pretty much everything else connected to quaker city: http://quakercitymercantile.com/news-and-press/2012/2989-foobooz-features-aita-event

    heehee.

  • Hipster

    @Itsfine: I hope you can join me on May 9th, for the launch of Spodee! Spodee isn’t your average wine; it is a wine fortified with high proof moonshine, that you mix into cocktails, like a spirit!

    Historically inspired Spodee harkens back to a Depression era hooch that was a deceptively strong, sweet, easy-to drink beverage made from a mix of country wine and whatever else was lying around the farm-fruits, herbs, spices and of course moonshine. Typically, it was made in trashcans or bathtubs and served at parties and backwoods get-togethers. This version is a potent 36 proof and comes in an old timey milk bottle. The kind the milk man used to deliver! Spodee will become available for purchase in PA and NJ stores in early May.

    THIS AD COPY IS FINE? Let me guess. You graduated from Wharton with a degree in Marketing. LOL!

    Let’s try this: Please join me on May 9th for the launch of Spodee. Spodee is a fortified wine. Unlike Port or Sherry, Spodee is fortified with high proof moonshine. It’s meant to be used as a spirit and mixed into cocktails.

    Spodee harkens back to the days of Depression era hooch. Hooch that was deceptively strong, sweet, and easy-to-drink. It was made from a mix of wine and whatever else was lying around (fruit, herbs, spices, and moonshine). Because EVERYBODY that lived on a farm made moonshine. They made it in trashcans. They made it in bathtubs. They served it at their country-style parties and get-togethers. Spodee’s (36%ABV) unique selling point is that it is served in an old-fashioned milk bottle. Just like Grandma used to drink (the milk, not the Spodee).

  • I wonder….

    …if all the Quaker City Mercantile employees being made to “organically” comment/”create buzz” are going to get a bonus check…probably not.

  • Bees

    Why the hate? Shouldn’t Philly food scene-sters and artisanal vendors be supportive of one another?

  • Peyton

    Trey – you made me laugh. Hipster – you made me scared. I’d actually buy it as a lark after reading your ad!