Start planning your weekends on Thursdays when Philadelphia magazine sends you the events e-newsletter about the upcoming week's — and weekend's — events and premieres.
On the HBO hit Curb Your Enthusiasm, she plays Susie Greene, an abrasive wife with a truck driver’s vocabulary. But Susie Essman isn’t quick to bitch and berate in real life. In fact, four-letter words were few and far between when we talked to her about sexism, family, and why it’s healthy to go Greene every now and then. She does her standup routine this Saturday night at the Gershman Y. — Cheryl McEvoy
The University of the Arts’s Vocal Department skips right over the Handel and Bach chorale works in favor of Muppets, Fraggles, and Sesame Street: The Music of Jim Henson. Completely silly, yes, which is precisely why I like it. Plus, it’s free. 7 p.m. at the Arts Bank.
IF YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK AROUND THE IRISH …
The DJ starts at 2 p.m — yes, 2 p.m. — at McGillin’s Olde Ale House, Philadelphia’s oldest continuously operating tavern. You should be prepared for large singing crowds of the Shamrocked guzzling gallons of green beer. There’s a $2 cover, which just seems silly.
IF YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK BUT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE IRISH … Daily News gossip-boy Dan Gross charms the barflies at the Khyber with his Seinfeld Quizzo. And if the Uncle Leo trivia gets a little stale, there’s karaoke upstairs.
Remember that ass-beating that our own Steve Volk gave Channel 12 some months back, in part for the station’s egregious lack of locally produced programming? Tonight, WHYY-TV steps up with The Philly Food Show, hosted by Ed Cunningham (the tall, older gent who pleads with you to turn over your hard-earned loot during the fund drives) and Channel 29 meteorologist Sue Serio, clearly a fan of Philly food.
THE BENEFITS OF THE THEATER
Ah, Monday. For us, it’s back to work. But for the theater world, it’s a day off, which is why not one but two local troupes are holding their annual benefits this evening, and the events couldn’t be more different. InterAct, celebrating its 20-year anniversary, is going the gala route at the Annenberg, with a dessert and wine reception, a jazz quartet, an hour-and-a-half long (ugh) retrospective of the group, and a $60 price tag (well, $25 if you’re a card-carrying starving artist). Meanwhile, and ever so slightly on the more fun and $20 ($15 student) end of the spectrum, is 11th Hour’s PBR-crowd-worthy Philly Rocks party at the Prince, with Quizzo followed by a concert where local actors (from 11th Hour and elsewhere) transform into shriek-yielding hair rockers.
CLASSICAL MUSIC
See the future of classical music tonight at the Kimmel as the Curtis Symphony Orchestra, with guest conductor and New York Philharmonic/Royal Stockholm Philharmonic/Hamburg Symphony’s Alan Gilbert (pictured, and who seems to be spending a lot of time in Philly these days), as they tackle Beethoven, Barber, and Nielsen. Tickets $5 to $36.
VEG
The wind chill is lower than Hurricane’s virility now that Bolaris is back in town. Speaking of low virility, there’s always your couch, hot toddies, and the live Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on USA.
This week, guest writer Brian James Kirk steps in with some suggestions on how to (and how not to) hold Monday off for as long as humanly possible …
In case the idea of body paint brings back fond memories of a personal nature …The Blue Man Group still exists? By now, I figured they’d have cashed their checks and started an art commune in North Dakota, suddenly inspired by Dada, post-modernism and the “alternative space” of performance art. But not so. Expect droves of confused ticket-holders to show up at the Wachovia Center tonight, wondering what the hell it is that the group really does on stage. Regardless of what that may be, it has to be more entertaining then the Wachovia’s big Sunday show: Dancing With the Stars — The Tour. Or not.
Yeah, so he’s responsible for “Memories,” but still … If you’ve ever doubted Andrew Lloyd Webber’s prolificness, just look at area theaters. Luckily, you missed Cats last night at the Sovereign Bank Arena in Trenton, but the less-revered Aspects of Love starts tonight at Plays & Players. On Sunday, a few blocks over, Whistle Down the Wind closes at the Merriam. The man probably just wrote three more Tony Award winners while you were trying to get that stupid song out of your head.
Assuming love, in your case, is not dead … As much as you hate to give into Hallmark this Valentine’s Day, you do have a special someone to tend to (and if you don’t, I apologize in advance for making you feel like shit). This time around, send a “till death do us part” message to your sweetie that truly means it. Creepily beautiful Laurel Hill Cemetery presents their Tim Burton take on lasting love: The Love Stories of Laurel Hill, with tales sure to titillate via toe tag. There will be plenty of hot chocolate and red wine, but if you have plans to duck behind a mausoleum and get a little early V-Day play, I suggest extra layers.
Who is it, exactly, that actually finds this guy funny? … The peak of your career was spent playing a gimmicky character on the Drew Carey Show. You could argue that the Late Late Show, which you host on CBS, was a step up, but then I would have to ask you, “Have you actually watched it?” Sorry, Craig Ferguson. Here’s hoping your stand-up tonight at the Keswick is phenomenal … Unless you’ve already changed the channel, viewer, you could save some cash and see Vince Vaughn’s new movie, which opens today. I’ve heard it’s not all that funny, but that new movie about the illegal abortion is probably funnier than Craig Ferguson, so the bar has been set pretty low.
What can I say, I’m a MILF-loving stoner … And there’s always Aaron Lewis of Staind, doing his solo thing tonight and Saturday at the Borgata, but personally, I’d have to opt for staying home and catching up on my Weeds episodes. One day, Mary-Louise Parker. One day.
THEATER
Pulitzer- and Tony award-winning playwright Edward Albee’s (Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) newest work, Me, Myself & I, closes soon at Princeton. Toby called lead actress Tyne Daly (yes, yes, from Cagney & Lacey) “brilliant.”
If Princeton is out of reach, Avenue Q’s run at the Forrestends on Sunday.
PARTYING
There used to be a time when Fat Tuesday meant something in Philadelphia. Sure, that meaning basically boiled down to South Street turning into a river of regurgitated alcohol, bosom beads, and mounted police, but that was long ago. Tonight, grab a a friend and a drink (or several) and make it mean something again.
COUCH SURF
Hey, it is only Day 2, and there’s plenty of week left, so sitting on the couch and watching Super Tuesday returns during American Idol commercial breaks could also make perfect sense.
On the HBO hit Curb Your Enthusiasm, she plays Susie Greene, an abrasive wife with a truck driver’s vocabulary. But Susie Essman isn’t quick to bitch and berate in real life. In fact, four-letter words were few and far between when we talked to her about sexism, family, and why it’s healthy to go Greene every now and then. She does her standup routine this Saturday night at the Gershman Y. — Cheryl McEvoy
The University of the Arts’s Vocal Department skips right over the Handel and Bach chorale works in favor of Muppets, Fraggles, and Sesame Street: The Music of Jim Henson. Completely silly, yes, which is precisely why I like it. Plus, it’s free. 7 p.m. at the 
IF YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK AROUND THE IRISH …
Remember that 
THE BENEFITS OF THE THEATER
CLASSICAL MUSIC
VEG
This week, guest writer Brian James Kirk steps in with some suggestions on how to (and how not to) hold Monday off for as long as humanly possible …
Assuming love, in your case, is not dead … As much as you hate to give into Hallmark this Valentine’s Day, you do have a special someone to tend to (and if you don’t, I apologize in advance for making you feel like shit). This time around, send a “till death do us part” message to your sweetie that truly means it. Creepily beautiful Laurel Hill Cemetery presents their Tim Burton take on lasting love: 
THEATER