Today at noon, NFL.com will offer a live broadcast of Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre’s retirement press conference — the equivalent of a somber eulogy for many a worshipful Midwestern cheeseface and fawning NFL analyst. Put the Eagles’ Donovan McNabb on that list as well, as the oft-injured quarterback dropped in on his Yardbarker blog not to ask for more playmakers, but to honor Favre.

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Baltimore Sun sportswriter Bill Ordine today breaks down the myriad reasons why trading Donovan McNabb to the Ravens would be a thundering brain fart for both clubs.

Ordine offers insight into Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome’s managerial style, highlighting the fact that during his six-year run he’s never given up anything higher than a third-round draft pick in a trade. (It’s safe to assume that the Eagles wouldn’t unload McNabb for that.) Plus, for a GM that’s built his team solidly through the draft, giving up the eighth pick would be completely antithetical.

Ordine, a former Inquirer sports reporter during the Buddy Ryan era, also gives ample reasons why the Eagles would be silly to participate in this trade:

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Well, that’s a win. Sort of: After the defense let Thomas Jones stomp all over them during the Jets’s first possession, it appeared the listless Eagles were back. There was no fire — there weren’t even smoldering wood chips. It appeared the borderline deplorable Jets were about to run right over the Birds and the season was doomed. But the Jets came away with just a field goal, and then the Birds came out swinging on offense, quickly proving they’d be able to do anything they wanted against this team. After everything started clicking early — including numerous rare Reggie Brown sightings — the Birds should’ve scored about 97 points. Yet there was only one touchdown and a couple of David Akers windswept field goals to show for it. Birds win 16 to (YAWN) 9. Somehow, even in victory, this team still looks and feels radically different, almost like a cover-band version of the dominant Philadelphia Eagles teams of recent years’ past. Some of the songs are deceptively real, but it doesn’t take long to realize that, no, this team isn’t anywhere close to being top 10 in the NFC his year. Even if they do perform a passable “Free Bird” every other week.

The death of Five: I’m quite sure that not only can every defensive lineman in the league catch Donovan McNabb from behind, but he’d also be in trouble if chased by a pack of old poodles with hip dysplasia. That double-threat quarterback with the nifty open-field moves has vanished as pathetically as his hairline. He’ll still chuck the occasional long ball, but we’re essentially working with Steve McNair for the rest of this season and not Vince Young. Why does it feel like we got robbed out of his full potential? Maybe he’d be better off someplace else next year. At least we’ll have Brian Westbrook for another couple of seasons, until his body just disintegrates into a pile of dust.

Yet the defense continues to inexplicably get better: Giving up so much real estate to Thomas Jones was alarming, but the Eagles still didn’t give up a touchdown. They hunkered down at the goal line with the Jets threatening to tie the game with under two minutes. They gang-tackled with abandon. They had timely sacks and turnovers. And Takeo Spikes has one of the most abnormally large heads in history. His helmet must be the size of a laundry basket.

Bring on the artist formerly known as the NFC champions: Seriously. It’s tough to get excited about this season. All of that doom and gloom talk that’s surrounded the team all year seems like it’s starting to stick. Next week, the Eagles have to beat the drowning Chicago Bears in some overly convincing fashion if they want to provide this city with the slightest twitch of excitement.

After another lackluster, gimpified performance by Donovan McNabb on Monday night, the familiar clamor of impatient, angry Iggleites is starting to swell. Thankfully, he isn’t involved in any distracting, off-the-field controversies to make things worse.

Whoops.

The de-’froed Five had a heart-to-heart conversation with James Brown a few weeks ago for HBO’s Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel program, and, for whatever reason, suggested that black quarterbacks are more scrutinized than white quarterbacks. True or not, McNabb’s atrophied leg isn’t much to stand on when he’s making statements like this:

“[T]hey [white QBs] don’t get criticized as much as we do. They don’t. I pass for 300 yards. Our teams wins by seven. [They say] ‘He could have made this throw. They would have scored if he did this.’”

McNabb then bestows some congratulatory praise upon himself for how he’s handled this criticism:

“Every year I’m part of some criticism. … How do you respond? I try to handle myself with class. I try to handle myself with dignity.”

Yes. Very dignified indeed.

However, it should be pointed out that had McNabb thrown for 300 yards and three touchdowns in his first two games, his point would be considered brave and illuminating as opposed to brazen and marginalizing. Point to Philadelphia negativity.

McNabb Says African American Quarterbacks Take More Heat [Inquirer]
Donovan McNabb takes on race — good point, awful timing [San Jose Mercury News Morning Buzz]

PHOTO: Michigan Daily