The Sorry Lives and Confusing Times of Today’s Young Men

They don’t have jobs. They’re dropping out of college. They play video games all day and watch porn all night. Even their sperm counts are low. Why won’t guys grow up?

 

THE WOMEN ARE IRATE. The women are talking about men, young men, the men they’d like to date and marry, and are they ever pissed. Here’s what they’re saying:

“All they want is sex. They don’t care about relationships.”

“They’re so lazy.”

“All they do is play video games.”

“They aren’t men. They’re boys.”

The women are a little bewildered. They’re good girls. They followed the script: did well in high school, got into college, worked hard there, got out, got jobs, started looking around for someone special to share life with, and …

“I met a guy the other night. Good-looking, smart. Twenty-eight years old. He still lives at home. With his mom.” Young men are now nearly twice as likely as young women to live with their parents; 59 percent of guys ages 18 to 24 and 19 percent of 25-to-34-year-olds live at home. Based on those Census Bureau stats, 64,000 young Philly men have returned to or never left the nest—and they all have mothers, ex-girlfriends, grandmothers, dads and other friends and relations worrying about their plight.

The women know what everybody’s saying: It’s the economy, stupid. Young men have been whacked particularly hard in this “mancession.” The statistics are scary: From 1960 to 2009, the number of working-age men with full-time jobs fell from 83 percent to 66 percent. In Philadelphia, half of all young adults are unemployed. But three in 10 young men ages 25 to 34 had stopped looking for work before the recession hit. So it’s not just the economy. There’s something more at play.

Sociologists cite five “markers” or “milestones” that have traditionally defined our notion of adulthood: finishing school, moving away from the parental home, becoming financially independent, getting married, and having a child. In 1960, 65 percent of men had ticked off all five by age 30; by 2000, only a third had. The experts have plenty of explanations for what’s come to be called “extended adolescence” or “emerging adulthood”—or what New York Times columnist David Brooks calls the “Odyssey Years.” They blame helicopter parents, the burden of student loan debt, much higher poverty rates among young people (nearly half of all Americans ages 25 to 34 live below the national level), and a dearth of vo-tech training and manufacturing jobs. Almost 60 percent of parents are now giving money to their grown kids—an average of $38,340 per child in the years between ages 18 and 34. Whatever happened to the son looking after his mom?

But those are the grousings of an older generation. We’ve always complained that those following after us are shiftless, goal-less, unmotivated. Remember walking 10 miles to school, uphill both ways? What’s different now is that half of one generation is complaining about the other half.

“The majority of the guys my age that I meet are immature,” says Jessica ­Claremon, a blunt, outspoken 24-year-old who grew up in Fort Washington and now lives in New York City, where she works for Nickelodeon. “I would never call them ‘men.’” Bruno Mars seems to have articulated an entire gender’s worldview in last summer’s hit “The Lazy Song”:

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
’Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

Why has doing anything become so ­difficult for today’s young men?

 


MEET CONNOR.*

Connor, 24, graduated from Penn State in May of last year. It took him five years instead of four to finish his journalism degree, so he has about a hundred thou in student loans. “Scholarship was the ball I dropped more often than work or my social life,” he says. When I spoke to him late last year, he was living at home with his parents, working part-time—30 hours a week—as a blogger. It wasn’t enough to live on, and he didn’t get health benefits. He was sure he could get a different job: “If I wanted to support myself, I would. But I’m lucky enough to have parents who are well off. We’re all just waiting it out for a while.”

The move from Happy Valley back to his childhood bedroom wasn’t entirely smooth. “My dad struggles to get it a little,” Connor says. “He’s an engineer. He went to a military academy. He had a wife and kid by the time he was my age.” When Connor took an unpaid internship a few years back, “He was like, ‘What is the plan?’ I said, ‘I know what the plan is. You just don’t like the plan.’” The unpaid internship grew into a part-time job. If it hadn’t, “I would have gotten a job as a waiter somewhere. I wasn’t going to take something I didn’t want to do.”

Connor rides the train home every workday from the city to his parents’ house in West Chester. He’ll have dinner with Mom and Dad, watch TV with them. West Chester nightlife doesn’t really cut it for him now: “I’m a Farmers’ Cabinet guy. I have expensive tastes.” He doesn’t pay rent or buy groceries, but he does his own laundry. “It’s not like they’re giving me $10 for the movies,” he says.

There are challenges. “I have no option but celibacy,” says Connor, who’s outgoing and athletic and handsome. “I don’t really approach women, even. I’m not going to take someone home and sleep with her in my parents’ house.” He gets away to visit friends on weekends every chance he can. His mom, he says, wants him to text her when he arrives safely. He doesn’t. “I’m 24 years old. I shouldn’t have to check in with Mommy.”

When Connor was still in school, sometimes he’d encounter friends of his parents who’d press their business cards on him: “They’d say, ‘I’m in insurance—call me when you get out of school.’” Connor threw the cards away. He says he’d rather wait tables for the rest of his life than work in sales. Besides, he has a buddy from college who’s made it in L.A., in films. The buddy’s success validates Connor’s approach to life: “You have to have faith in your intangible abilities.”

CONNOR’S A CLASSIC ALL-AMERICAN GUY, CIRCA 2012. He’s also a prime example of the attributes that experts say are crippling him and his peers. He hasn’t proven particularly successful, yet he’s absolutely sure he will be successful. He’s got more than enough self-esteem. And he’s living with his mom.

“I’m astonished, just astonished, that kids are moving back home,” says Barry Schwartz, a longtime psychology professor at Swarthmore College who studies happiness and satisfaction. “My kids never came home once they left. They would have seen coming home to live as an absolute failure—the worst thing in the world.” But it’s part of a continuum, he says: “It’s also astonishing to me that kids are in touch with their parents five times a day on their cell phones.” Those parents, he says, have cocooned their children all their lives. They’re too eager to be their kids’ friends and too reluctant to exert authority. As a result, “They don’t do much to nudge fledglings out of the nest.” Connor can see that in his mom: “She’d like me to leave, but not because she wants me to leave.” He thinks she’d pretty much be cool with him living with her for the rest of his life.

And why wouldn’t he want to? We’ve made home so comfortable. “When you had six or seven kids in a family,” says Kathleen Bogle, a sociology professor at La Salle and author of the campus-sex book Hooking Up, “young people were dying to have their own place. Now they’re living in a big house, not paying any rent, and they can come and go as they please.” Sex is awkward, sure, but young men are having bromances with their guy friends instead, modeling themselves on Entourage, Jersey Shore and The Hangover. “Popular culture in general values singlehood,” says Bogle. “In the 1950s, the stigma was not getting married. Now it’s reversed.”

Bogle mentions the “unintended consequences of inventions” and posits that extended adolescence may be the accidental offspring of the Pill. The upper-class norm now, she says, is not to have kids until you’re in your 30s. The median age of male marriage keeps getting pushed further back—more than three years (which is an eon to sociologists) since 1980, to 28.2. That leaves young men with a long, long stretch of sowing wild oats—while young women tap their feet impatiently. (And not nearly as many people are marrying at all; in 1960, more than half of all 18-to-29-year-olds were wed; today, it’s around 20 percent.)

Bogle thinks Facebook may also be contributing to perpetual boyhood. Prior generations of men, she says, would leave their tight-knit communities of college friends, move to new cities, and become isolated. That made relationships with women more attractive, since women typically organized social life. “Now, Facebook makes it so easy to keep in touch with your old friends, to make plans and coordinate,” Bogle says. Guys can actually do it ­themselves.

 

Speaking of do-it-yourself, more than one academic cites porn as a reason young men are content to climb back into the family nest. “When I was a boy,” says Shaun Harper, a professor at Penn’s Graduate School of Education who studies how young men live and learn, “you had to work to find porn. And hide it! It was only available in an underground way.” Today, it’s as close as any website ending in .xxx. Researchers conducting a recent large study on porn and prostitution had trouble finding non-users to serve as a control group. An article in New York magazine last year described how young men have come to expect the “Porn Star Experience” from women, and find themselves faking orgasms when the real thing proves less satisfactory than the video version. No less than rock god John Mayer, whose girlfriends have included Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift, told Playboy that he prefers masturbation to “real” sex: “Once I have to deal with someone else’s desires, I cut and run.” If you don’t even have to leave the house to find sexual ­gratification—much less put on a tie, make small talk and pay for dinner—why would you bother? That this forces young women to compete for men’s attention not just with one another but also with Jesse Jane and Lexi Belle explains a lot of contemporary ­evening wear.

*Names, but nothing else, have been changed.

“I CAME TO WIN,” RIHANNA SINGS in “Fly,” her recent hit with Nicki Minaj: “To fight, to conquer, to thrive; I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise. … ” She doesn’t exactly sound like Bruno Mars’s dream date, does she?

“Men are lagging behind young women in the push forward,” says Barbara Ray, co-author of a book, Not Quite Adults, based on research conducted by the MacArthur Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood. “Women are surpassing men in a lot of indicators of success.” Men, the network’s research suggests, have become marginalized: The skills women have—they’re better listeners, they work better in teams—are what’s needed in the modern work-world. “Women see a clearer fit for themselves,” says Ray, “and employers do, too.”

When Barry Schwartz started teaching at Swarthmore in the ’70s and would pose a question to a class, “Someone was always interrupting before the question was finished,” he recalls, “and it was always a male.” Now, he says, guys aren’t doing that. A lot of observers say male disengagement in colleges and schools is a result of the “feminization” of our educational system: Boys are told to sit down, shut up and drill to the test; if they can’t, we put them on Adderall.

“Women are really motivated by the idea of school achievement,” says Bogle. “They’ll say, ‘I’ll get a master’s degree next!’ They want to climb that ladder.” But men who are into school are seen as wimpy and nerdy. That helps explain why current college enrollment nationwide is about 60 percent female and only 40 percent male. “Young men are having trouble at institutions of higher learning and in the labor force,” says Temple psychology professor Laurence Steinberg, who just published an updated third edition of his classic You and Your Adolescent: The Essential Guide for Ages 10-25—with the age range extended from 20 in the prior edition. “There’s more competition from women.” What happens when women outperform men? Men withdraw from the field. Women, Schwartz says, are invested in economic success, but it doesn’t define them: “The stakes are still higher for men. If you lose your job, you’re a failure.” And what if you can’t get a job in the first place, like so many young men?

“The world tells us that white American men are extremely powerful,” says Harper. “Statistics show they are disproportionately advantaged in all sorts of ways. But individual white men don’t feel privileged or advantaged. People pay more attention to women, to minorities, and white men feel, ‘Nobody is paying attention to me.’”

That’s where video games come in. Like porn, they provide a sense of mastery. Research shows males prefer games in which they feel “emotions that sustain dominant masculine identity”—in which they drive fast, blow things up, kill things, and sometimes batter women. But it’s not the content that’s the biggest problem; it’s the time commitment. Half of all college students say video games keep them from studying “some” or “a lot.” A few years back, a disgruntled ­co-ed told the New York Times she’d sworn off ­gamers for good because “they’re choosing to do something that wastes their time and sucks the life out of them.”

Something, it seems, is sucking the life out of guys quite literally. One-third of male college students say they’ve experienced erectile dysfunction. Leonard Sax, a family physician for nearly 20 years who authored the book Boys Adrift, saw more and more of them in his Maryland office, asking for Viagra and Cialis. Constant access to porn has desensitized them; they can’t get it up with live girls. “We’re seeing the replacement of penile sex with oral sex,” says Sax, “with the girl on her knees, servicing the boy. Boys and girls both end up losers.” One in five men ages 18 to 25 are now classified as “sub-­fertile” because of low sperm count and quality, both of which have been dropping in the developed world for the past 50 years. Curiously, 50 years ago, around 64 percent of all college students were male.

You’d think boys would be feeling bad about their lack of puissance. They’re not, especially, because we’ve painstakingly taught them never to be judgmental. When the authors of the book Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood polled young adults, 47 percent agreed that “morals are relative, there are not definite rights and wrongs for everybody.” If you want to lie in bed all day and beat up virtual hookers—dude, hey, that’s cool.

Irvin Schorsch is the founder of Jenkintown’s Pennsylvania Capital Management, which provides investment advice for 160 wealthy families. More and more of those families have offspring who are failing to launch into successful lives. He worries about the ramifications: “The most important asset any investor has is time. If you want to save a million dollars, I can make that happen—with enough time.” With no head start, the men—and families—of tomorrow will always be playing catch-up. Schorsch takes a hard-core approach to emptying the nest. Many of his clients have children who are in their 50s and still living at home: “People say, ‘It’s for their own good. I can afford it.’ But has that child done well?”

RESEARCHERS AT CORNELL UNIVERSITY not long ago asked 20,000 young men and women across the United States how they self-identified sexually. Of the men in the sample, 5.6 percent said they were gay or bisexual. Of the women, 14.4 percent did. Leonard Sax offers a possible explanation for why three times as many young women as young men now say they’re gay: The guys they know are losers.

Meet James.

James graduated a decade ago from a big state college out West. “I was not the greatest student in high school,” he admits, “so my options weren’t Ivy League. I decided to go for the weather.” He majored in business. Why? “I got to a point where I just wanted to get out, and that’s what I chose.”

When he graduated, he worked for an Internet software company, then at a magazine owned by a guy he knew in college. The magazine work was hard, and his parents, he says, “definitely saw some lack of motivation.” He moved back East to take a job in the family business: “Looking back is always 20/20, but you should not take a job because it’s family.” He broke up with the girlfriend he’d had for a decade. It was the start of the recession. “She was spoiled,” James says. “She wanted things. It was a difficult time.” Two years ago, he moved back home. He’s trying to start up an energy consulting firm.

Living at home in Penn Valley wasn’t so bad at first. He spent much of the first summer at his grandfather’s place down the Shore. He met a girl, a teacher his age, and she had an apartment. But he broke up with her after a year and a half: “I came to realize she cared for me more than I would ever be able to return.”

Now, life with his parents is wearing on him. “If you want to watch TV, there’s just the den,” he says. “And they’re in there.” I ask whether he thinks his parents might have imagined themselves doing something at this point in their lives other than sharing their home with him. “They’re not really doing anything,” he says, sounding a little surprised. “They enjoy me being there.”

James is 31. He always figured he’d be married at 31. He certainly thought he’d have a place of his own. He doesn’t have a plan for the future: “Plans change, and the plan has to change really quick.” His outlook on life has become simpler: “I like being near my family, near my friends. I don’t need to make $10 million. I’d like to be successful, have a house, have kids. But how I get there … ”

I ask if, looking back, he would have done anything differently. “You want to say no,” he says, “that you have no regrets. But I could have tried harder in school. It would have built up a work ethic, you know? I felt I was okay not doing any work. But that carries over into life.”

James has a new girlfriend now: “I guess I’m kind of a catch.” She just graduated from college. The teacher he broke up with? “I didn’t want a girl who was getting older and pressuring to get married. I’m not at that point in my life.”

Leonard Sax writes and lectures on how to change the American education system so boys will become more engaged. But for guys like James, from here on out? Sax offers an analogy: If you’re baking a cake and you just put it in the oven and realize you forgot to add the vanilla, you can still pull the cake out and stir some in. Pouring vanilla extract over a cake that’s already baked isn’t going to make it better, though. “When a family calls and says their 30-year-old son spends his days watching porn and playing video games,” Sax says, “my response is, ‘I have nothing to offer you.’”

A 30-year-old man is baked.

THERE ARE MEN—AND WOMEN, TOO—who say the sorry state of American men is women’s fault: Screech all that feminist propaganda long enough, and of course you’ll wind up with low-sperm-count losers trolling the Internet for porn. And there are, mostly, women who are celebrating what journalist and Philly native Kay S. Hymowitz has anointed “the New Girl Order.” Even Hymowitz, though, called the guys out in a Wall Street Journal opinion piece:

Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man.

An article by Hanna Rosin in the Atlantic, “The End of Men,” postulated that modern, post-industrial society is simply more suited to women than it is to men. As my 22-year-old daughter puts it, “Maybe it’s just our time.”

But while they’re perfectly willing to rule the world, women still yearn to get married and have babies. Kathleen Bogle says that when she asks young women when they want to marry, they’ll frame their response as “no later than” and give an age. Ask men, and they say not before a certain age.

Despite their sturdy self-esteem, young men sense that they’re not exactly cutting it. “To say my ego is large is kind of obvious,” says Connor. “But it’s … emasculating to be home. Is that the word?” Patrick, who’s 27 and moved home almost five years ago, says, “It wasn’t something I wanted to do. It still carries a little bit of shame.”

The sad fact is, women may have doomed their own hopes by being so successful. Gender identity, sociologists say, is developed oppositionally. If boys see girls behaving in a certain way—working hard and excelling in school—they define masculinity in opposite terms: A real man doesn’t work hard at school or get good grades. The more that women try to set an example of responsible adult behavior, the more the guys shout along with the band Deer Tick: “We’re full-grown men but we act like kids!”

SHAUN HARPER’S NEW BOOK, College Men and Masculinities, is an entry in the relatively recent field of men’s studies. “For many years,” says Harper, “the term ‘gender’ was synonymous with ‘women.’” Just about every college has a women’s center and courses in women’s studies, but there are two genders, and there are problems and difficulties that seem inherent to being male. Suicide, Harper points out, is four times more common among young men than young women. In campus and high-school shoot-outs, the culprits are always male. Men are far more likely to be involved in campus judicial procedures. And yet, he says, “Colleges don’t commit their time to troubled masculinities. There are four awful words—‘Boys will be boys’—that people use for making sense of what’s happening.” And the “boys” keep getting older and older.

When Harper interviews college men, they readily talk about their drinking, the homophobic jokes they make, their sexual conquests. But they also say to him: “You know, that’s not really who I am. That’s just what guys at college do.” Gender, Harper says, is performative: Young men are simply following a script, doing what they think they’re supposed to. Take Patrick. For a guy, he’s unusually attuned to matters of gender. He’s volunteered for years at a shelter for battered women. “It’s damaging to just follow the archetypes you’ve been taught,” he says. And yet one night after a committee meeting for the shelter’s fund-raiser, he found himself in the kitchen with two fellow Penn State grads: “It was pretty amazing how quickly we fell back into the way guys talk—into that very stereotypical male vibe.”

Partly because of feminism, partly because of moral relativism, partly because of Clint Eastwood, 21st-century America has defined masculinity in negative ways: Real men don’t drink pumpkin lattes; real men don’t ask for directions; real men don’t cry. What, though, do real men do?

In Boys Adrift, Leonard Sax says American men have gone astray because we’ve failed to provide them with a social construction of masculinity—an answer to the question “What makes a man a man?” That construction can be intellectual, as for Orthodox Jews, or more physical, as for Maasai warriors. But manhood can’t just be something you age into. It has to be seen as an achievement, and aspired to. In the absence of such a construct, young men will provide their own—via street gangs or college frats or the eternal guyland of plasma TVs and fantasy football pools.

Before we as a society can offer that social construction, we have to decide: What exactly does make a man a man? Time magazine recently reported a trend in romance novels away from otherworldly vampire and werewolf heroes toward old-school firemen, cops and Special Forces veterans. It’s understandable that women long to be taken care of in a perilous economy. But William Bennett’s 2011 The Book of Man, intended to lay out a road map to masculinity with its prescribed doses of Tennyson and Longfellow and Poe (“Annabel Lee”? Really, Bill? “Annabel Lee”?), seems impossibly corny in these cynical, post-ironical times.

Shaun Harper’s had a smart idea. There are young men out there, he says, who manage somehow to navigate the harrowing voyage through American culture and come out as “good guys”—men who drink responsibly, respect women, and behave in anti-sexist, anti-racist and anti-homophobic ways. So he’s studying them: “We have a national study of mostly white, heterosexual men at large, mostly white universities with large fraternity systems”—schools like Penn State. He’s looking at how these “good men” develop and perform their masculinities in a culture where bad behavior is rewarded and admired. If he can identify what they share, he says, we can work to replicate it.

Sax, meanwhile, offers a shorthand ­definition of masculinity that seems pretty bulletproof: Real men stand up for the weak and disempowered. Imagine the changes that would wreak in Washington, D.C. But he’s not holding his breath—and he’s ­helping his five-year-old daughter learn to speak Spanish. “I don’t fear for the human spirit,” he says, “but I’m not optimistic for American men.”

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  • Critical

    There are significant issues with this article, the least of which I’m going to correct now. Contrary to what Leonard Sax purports, women aren’t lesbians because “The men they know are losers.” Wo

  • Critical

    Women aren’t lesbians because of men.

  • Kate

    “Screech all that feminist propaganda long enough, and of course you’ll wind up with low-sperm-count losers trolling the Internet for porn.”
    Wow, I didn’t know the idea of treating women like ACTUAL PEOPLE was such a boner killer.

  • Cameron

    Mr. Sax seriously needs to take a Valium before he starts telling depressed people that they are DOOMED!!!! I guess peddling simplistic fear and hysteria really is the best way to make a quick buck in America.

    I’ve managed to turn my life around recently. Going back to school to start a career. I’m 29 – thank the lord I made Sax’s age cutoff.

    We were raised by the most selfish, shallow generation of the 20th century, and our planet is about to die (if you don’t believe me, read some McKibben). Any wonder we’re a bit confused right now?

  • Critical

    What is this article doing in Philadelphia Magazine? I learned nothing except that the author Sandy Hingston cites sources without investigating their validity. Everything in this article is backwards

  • Diana

    So women are supposed to stop living up to their potential, stay at home and watch their stories and wait for Prince Charming to drive up in Mom’s minivan?! Puh-leaze. If that’s what’s out there then I’m going to be single for a VERY long time.

    • mojo

      No one but Sandy said that.

  • Juliet

    As a 26 year old, married woman, I really enjoyed this article. I thank my lucky stars every day for my husband, who is a business owner at 28. We both have successful careers, own a home, and are planning to grow our family soon. The “men” I went to school with were pitiful. I think this article has a lot of valid and lucid points.

    • Luke

      So, Juliet, are you going to switch your career to being a stay-at-home mother (ideally home-schooling)? Or, are you going to keep going to some office job, and subcontract out your kid’s rearing to wetback day care?

  • Han Solo

    Just want to point out the irony that last months cover story pretty much glorified amy burnham for acting like a teenager well into her 40s…

  • Jersey

    Where are these women that compete for my attention?? So far, I haven’t found any that exist…

  • Shaddy

    Sorry. Feminism won. Enjoy your total victory. What did you think your brave new world would look like?

    Men don’t need women. Have a good one being the bread winner and bringing home the bacon, you feminist powerhouse you!

    • Lil Bit

      Men don’t need women now??
      This article is about men living at home with their mommies.. who cook and clean and pay their bills for them.

      It’s not the fathers doing this…

      Men need women… they just want those women to be their mommies so they don’t have to do any real work.

      • Amanda Puccino

        They really don’t because many women constantly shout loud how useless they are. When the fire come back to us, some become angry and do so more male-bashing!

  • Lucian

    Given the evolution of society, men see no point in “the quest to manhood”. Couple that with other ‘rites of passage’ men face with disproportionate risks, many are opting-out.
    Instead they are focusing on their own immediate and longterm personal happiness.

  • William

    We were all put on Earth for the same reason: to be happy. And every man has the right to decide for himself how he will achieve that happiness. No man is obligated to enter into a relationship, a marriage or a job just to make a woman happy. If today’s women are not happy with today’s man, tough. Maybe it’s women who should be asking themselves, “Is what I can bring to a relationship enough?” and stop bashing men for exercising their freedom of choice.

  • S

    It’s funny that women can do what they want and choose the life they want, but if a man wants the same he’s a man-child, a boy. Don’t you see the hypocrisy of women defining what it is to be a man while men are told to shut on how women should be women. This article smacks of female entitlement and the selfish view that if men aren’t making women happy they’re not men: No true Scotsman anyone?

    • Lil Bit

      women aren’t the ones living with mommy.
      Women aren’t telling men how to be men
      women are tellng men how to be ADULTS
      because apparently they forgot how to be self-reliant, self-motivated, self-sufficient….

      Need I go on…

      • I Prove You Wrong

        “women aren’t the ones living with mommy.
        Women aren’t telling men how to be men
        women are tellng men how to be ADULTS
        because apparently they forgot how to be self-reliant, self-motivated, self-sufficient….

        Need I go on…”

        No need. You completely fail at making generalizations.

        I personally know a few women who are still living as “parasite singles” in their parents households. That disproves your first statement right there.

        And there’s plenty of women I see making comments on YouTube whom try to tell men how to be men – to “man-up” based on some old patriarchal values that were never addressed in the second wave of feminism. Feminism rejected those values with success – and rightfully so. Some men are doing the same now and are suddenly dumped together with the lazy-asses of society and the media is now screaming “man-children.”

        I am personally self-motivated and self-reliant. I just got my Bachelor’s degree and my internship has led to a full-time job.

        But I would still rather play video games on the side than look for someone to marry and start a family. It’s stupid to take such a high-risk. You’re essentially betting all of your possessions on one person and hoping they won’t change overtime for the rest of your life… And most people will change. It seems that enough men have woken up (or have been scorned enough times) and realized that marriage is a bad idea and you’re better off avoiding women.

      • Luke

        “women aren’t the ones living with mommy.”

        After their bad-boy Alpha kicks them out/goes back to jail/disappears on them, where else will the unmarried mothers not willing to live in housing projects (with the muggers and drugdealers) take their b*stard spawn, but mommy’s? Oh, and I don’t live with MY mother. I’m on an oil rig in North Dakota (and not a laborer, but a geologist).

      • Amanda Puccino

        And why for hell any men should be defined by a woman standards what is be an adult? What is an adult? A shelfish narcisitic person who go night out drink and go for random sex for ‘empowement’? When the age come it’s mommy time, because, you know, the ‘clock is craping’?

  • patrick

    Did anyone else notice that the “five metrics” the article uses to determine when a man is a man include (#4) getting married and (#5) having a child. I guess by those metrics I’m just not breeding hard enough for the woman who wrote this article. Like my father, I’m putting off a family as a pursue a career. Most of my friends, male and female alike, are doing the same thing. But I guess that’s just not an acceptable choice.
    I mean, my biological clock is ticking, after all, and I’ll never be more able to support a wife and kids than when I’m still paying off student loans.

    • Luke

      Well, Patrick, there’s always this “safe” way for a man to reproduce.
      He could do one-night stands where he gives a fake name, she never sees his vehicle license plate, and they go back to her place, not his.

      Q: Did you hear about the new morning-after pill for men?
      A: It changes their blood type.

      More seriously, the unmarried men who use an egg donor and gestational surrogate to have a child that NO broad can steal from him, are the wave of the future. I salute these heroes.

  • Not

    Isn’t it funny how male gender roles are bad when boys are growing up. They claim it’s society making them oppressive males, but when they grow up suddenly those gender roles are thrust back at them. This is what “a real man” is. But, after being taught to forgo those roles why would they choose to reclaim them just because women and society now want to force them on them. Feminism told us male gender roles need to be destroyed … now live with the outcome. Boys grow into men, men who don’t need those roles for fulfillment anymore. Game away, enjoy your life, and remember it’s your life so be happy! Let women deal with the society they’ve created.

  • Mix

    This is the REAL reason why women fail so hard in relationships. Sandy neglected to mention the truth: http://goo.gl/YcBpI

  • Justin

    There are so many over generalizations and sketchy statistics it makes me sick. Femmi Mag is not my cup of tea. Luckily I am a rational responsible 27 year old who makes 70k a year and most of my friends are in the same boat. I must live in an alternate universe. I sure do know some lazy helpless girls though.

  • Justin

    There are so many over generalizations and sketchy statistics it makes me sick. Femmi Mag is not my cup of tea. Luckily I am a rational responsible 27 year old who makes 70k a year and most of my friends are in the same boat. I must live in an alternate universe. I sure do know some lazy helpless girls though.

  • Super

    As as long we’re painting an entire demographic with the same brush, perhaps we should all Google Sandra Hingston and do an image search. It’s unlikely that someone who looks like that would understand the younger male demo, let alone be able to speak to the topic. The fact that Philly Rag made it the lead story? The writing (or lack there of) is on the wall. This is not journalism, nor is really an editorial narrative. It’s a fabricated middle-ground designed to sell rags. Obviously there are tons of ambitious men out there – good men who say and do the right thing – and chances are, they won’t come across this article. If they do, as I have, hopefully they’re dropping this trash mag, as I am.

    All-time low for this “publication.”

  • Stacy

    How sad that the words of smart men like Shawn Harper and Barry Shwartz have been appropriated to “validate” the blatant generalizations and sketchy science contained in this article.

    What exactly is the point, anyway? Sounds like rose-colored yearning for the good ol’ days to me.

  • Sandy

    Because Shaun told me he thought the article was “terrific” and asked for reprints.

  • Ropoe

    I agree with part of this article though I feel it “clowns” on the modern American man. I think the issues are a little more obvious than are suggested here. Women’s Lib. made this all begin. Women were / are their own worst enemy. If you want to see women’s liberation in action directly you can look at the porno example they give here in this piece. Women fought for the freedom to show off and use their bodies how they chose, however when women started to make money with those bodies, the same feminists screamed that it was exploitation. Market power and education – Women kicked and clawed to make as much as men and now in a day in age where women’s salaries have risen 3x faster than men’s in the last 15 years, they want to know why men have stopped paying for dinners, stopped using their “buying” power as a measuring tool to success. This same thing happened in the Black community when the black female was given aid, jobs, advantages that the black male was not. Look at what that did. Eventually the men will just stop trying and go back to more or less…

  • Paul

    Why the hell should I care about what society or women want? Things are different now. The old social contract between men and women is broken. Now men can redefine masculinity for themselves. Men are reacting to the changing climate. There’s no going back to the way things used to be.

    I’ve seen how fathers are removed from families. I’ve experienced first hand how education is set up specifically for female success. I’m not going to be anyone’s wage slave or servent. I’m going my own way. Nobody is entitled to my labour or the fruits of my labour. I don’t owe any woman commitment or money or sperm or anything.

    The picture above the article says that men have devolved. But the supposed ideal on the far left is not what I want to be. That man works horrible hours and destroys his health to support a woman. I won’t do that. a woman or a family is not worth that.

    A family is now a woman and her children. The father can be removed in an instant. He only exists to have resources extracted from him. Why should I want to hav anything to do with that?

    Internalize this. Men do not…

  • Chris

    Ms. Hingston has thankfully done enough homework to gather some statistics on gender demographics, but her takeaway message is that, 24 to 30-year-old males can either strive to be “successful” or become derelict, video game playing, racist, misogynists.

    Where are the numbers on the female populace?

    Well, what can one really expect from a gossip magazine, journalism? I think not.

  • Jordan

    I served in the army from 2001-2006 so I could afford to go to college. 3 tours later I leave and move back in with my parents. I get my degree with a 3.67 GPA taking 21 credits a semester to graduate into the worst economy since the depression. Now I am competing with years worth of graduates for entry level positions that aren’t available. What am I to do? Kill myself because girls who went straight to college got jobs before all this crap? Thanks for the pep talk but I define men by character not hobbies and living quarters

  • Jordan

    I served in the army from 2001-2006 so I could afford to go to college. 3 tours later I leave and move back in with my parents. I get my degree with a 3.67 GPA taking 21 credits a semester to graduate into the worst economy since the depression. Now I am competing with years worth of graduates for entry level positions that aren’t available. What am I to do? Kill myself because girls who went straight to college got jobs before all this crap? Thanks for the pep talk but I define men by character not hobbies and living quarters

    • Amanda Puccino

      Well said. And thanks for your service.

  • Andrew

    There are a lot of comments here disparaging the content of the article (which I quite enjoyed nonetheless) but I did feel compelled to comment that the author is very talented. I really enjoyed the writing style and it held my interest throughout the piece.

    Good writing is such a rare delight these days. Kudos to the author.

  • Andrew

    The outrage in these comments seems so false. I get the impression that people skimmed the first few paragraphs and made a snap judgment before posting their polemics.

    I’m a 27 year-old guy and I saw this as being pretty spot-on, in terms of what I see in the world around me, in my friends, etc. I’m gay, so I not only fit the demographic this author describes, but it forms my dating pool, too. Perhaps my perspective is different, but I really enjoyed the article and thought it was insightful and thought-provoking.

  • Mary

    This article reads like the idea itself was pitched before any real research was done and hurried to a deadline.

    If we go by the logic of the story, why would a white middle-class American male want to get married and have children anyway, if the net benefit is the future debt-burden of more lazy white middle-class man-children?

    As a female I found this article itself to be lazy, flawed and sexist.

  • face
  • Nils

    I’m 26. I got a good job with far above average pay. Didn’t do to well in school (never saw the point of it). So now I’m busting my ass for a company to pay the tax man and the landlord (there goes 70% of my gross). Women don’t care much for me (probably because I’m “boring”) and still go after the same idiots and deadbeats they went after in school. Now I’m supposed to get married (50% chance of divorce) and have children?

    Other guys sit at home, play video games all day, not worry about a thing, have low stress, might even get more sex… How are they the losers in this?

    Ladies, you are supposedly independent now. If you want to get married, try to snatch up one of those guys so he can depend on you. I’m independent as well, I don’t need a woman in my life.

    Compared to when dating or living with a girlfriend I have a lot more money now and can afford other things that give me happiness.

  • Mark

    Step 1: Tell two generations of men they are sexist, brutish, scum of the earth who will forever be inferior to women.

    Step 2: Give women massive privilege in obtaining scholarships and jobs.

    Step 3: Indoctrinate generations of women into perceiving every man as a vile monster, and that being “strong and independent” requires being hateful to men.

    Step 4: Rig divorce and child custody laws to make marriage a hideous trap for men.

    Step 5: Dehumanize men to the point that we believe their only role is to be a servant to women.

    Step 6: Act surprised when men give women the middle finger.

    Step 7: Go back to step 1

    • Lil Bit

      sounds like you’re just bitching that men are now treated (almost) in the same way women have been treated by men for thousands of years.

      “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

  • Jim

    “There are young men out there, he says, who manage somehow to navigate the harrowing voyage through American culture and come out as “good guys”—men who drink responsibly, respect women, and behave in anti-sexist, anti-racist and anti-homophobic ways. So he’s studying them: ”

    And he’s probably finding that, for all their efforts, they tend to get less female attention than a lot of the so-called losers described in this article. Which should answer the question of why young men aren’t trying to hard to emulate that. To say nothing of what they’ve seen happen to men who “man up” and get married, only to go through the divorce ringer.

    • Lil Bit

      so basically what you’re saying is these losers are losers because the only worth the see is through the attention the get from girls??

      and “losers” get more attention than “men”

  • Jim

    “There are young men out there, he says, who manage somehow to navigate the harrowing voyage through American culture and come out as “good guys”—men who drink responsibly, respect women, and behave in anti-sexist, anti-racist and anti-homophobic ways. So he’s studying them: ”

    And he’s probably finding that, for all their efforts, they tend to get less female attention than a lot of the so-called losers described in this article. Which should answer the question of why young men aren’t trying to hard to emulate that. To say nothing of what they’ve seen happen to men who “man up” and get married, only to go through the divorce ringer.

  • van

    “….They followed the script… high school… college… jobs, started looking around for someone special…”

    Wrong script. The husband quest should begin at 20, not 30. By the time a woman hits 30, most of the men of her generation will either…
    (a) already be married,
    (b) have been corrupted and rendered unmarriagable by the free sex culture (if they’re really attractive), or
    (c)give up hope of ever finding a woman (the rejected nice guys.)

    Women created this situation, by delaying the age of marriage of young men and simultaneously spreading their legs for free. Only a restoration of the old incentives, can restore the old behavior.

    • Lil Bit

      so you’re going to blame women for mens actions instead of taking ownership over your own choices…

      sounds like a child to me.

      I don’t hear a lot of women blaming men for keeping them from working because they are giving away their money or some other form of “leg spreading”

      because women TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THEIR CHOICES

      because they’re adults

      • van

        “…so you’re going to blame women for mens actions instead of taking ownership over your own choices…”

        I take full ownership of my own choices, because I made the RIGHT choices. I got a good education (STEM, not fluff), worked hard, built a career, kept my body in shape, didn’t play videogames…. and yet not until my late 30s did women start to consider me a marriage prospect. And no, I’m not short, bald, ugly or whatever, either (I feel sorry for those guys, it must be even harder.)

        So why’d I have such trouble? The girls of my generation were too busy running around… sleeping around… with badboys, to bother dating the old fashioned romantic monogamist that they all SAAAAYYYY they want. I was ready to marry and start a family almost 2 decades before women finally decided I was worth it….

        I’m happily married for a long time now, but from what I hear, the situation is even worse now. Women, by THEIR wrong choices, have created the strongest possible incentive for young men to NOT BOTHER with all that hard work.

        “….because women TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THEIR CHOICES….”

        No x1000. You absolutely DO NOT. And you are in the deepest possible denial about it. You created an incentive structure that at best, ignores good men, and at worst, actually punishes good men — and rewards the bad. And then you wonder WHY so many men are bad? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your choices, date GOOD men instead of bad boys.

        Otherwise I may have no choice but to send my sons to Russia or Ukrania when they’re old enough to marry…

      • Amanda Puccino

        And Men Too. This stupid article is about: Any men who don’t act to be a useful tool to fulfill any woman needs is a useless jerk. If you can’t see this you have serious problems

  • Darren

    What a disgusting article. So modern women are these noble, moral creatures who are just helplessly waiting around for some “nice guy” to marry them ?? What a load of crap! Let me tell you about most of the young women today, they are spoiled, narcissistic, vain, entitled, shallow, superficial and all round horrible human beings with no moral fibre and who care not a jot for any human being other than themselves.They live in a shallow, fantasy based me me me world. No wonder men are avoiding these toxic, amoral creatures like the plague. They are also highly promiscuous, treat men like cr@p, and incidentally have zero interest in “nice guys” either.

    • Lil Bit

      you’re shaming women for being promiscuous when you get “man points” for doing the same thing.

      You sound like a 5 year old calling a girl fat because she got more candy than he did.

      You’re not 5 anymore

      Grow up

      • Kaitlin Powell

        Hmmm.. Wrong.. its the sexual marketplace – nice try though.

      • Steven B

        lil bit, face it. A man could sleep with 100 women and it would not at all lower his desire for his wife. A woman on the other hand, can sleep with higher value men then she can get commitment from so the husband is “boring”. Promiscuity and hypergamy don’t mingle very well.

      • Amanda Puccino

        He only describe the truth about the large majority of women in her 20 somenthing and early 30. I’m part of these group and I’m constantly shamed by don’t act like a selfish grow child man-hater.

  • Paul

    More shaming tactics from a dying society.

    Don’t women and the other sickos realize that men do not care anymore because what they can gain from participating in society and playing its game is bad… that there are no more benefits.

  • Ty

    Marriage: Yes, so attractive for men, since divorces are primarily initiated by women, and men will be discriminated against by the courts.

    Economics: There are institutions created solely for women’s advancement, GOVERNMENT mandated discrimination against men for businesses. Also, 85+ of workplace deaths are men.

    Education: Financial aid/Scholarships available to only women, women’s groups.

    You would have to be an idiot not to see why men are discouraged, uninterested with those thing.

  • Paul

    Note how masculinity is framed I tiredly in therms of utility to women. It’s women who want babies and houses.

    As for school – its a scam. 1 trillion in student debt and counting, and a generation of mainly women who wil be carrying unserviceable debt for the rest of their lives.

    • Lil Bit

      women are getting jobs after school while men are moving back with their parent after school. And it’s the women’s debt that’s unserviceable??

  • lo

    Fact is, the “traditional” male path of high stress career, marriage and family simply involve too much effort and risk for far too little reward. We men don’t exist just to provide women with relationships, for us to opt in women have to bring something to the table to justify what we are expected to provide. As it stands, video games, porn and casual sex are a far better alternative than a stressful job with long hours that we would require to earn the money to attract a woman, and pay for her wedding, her children, her divorce, her alimony and her child support. Modern girls really need to “woman up” to make the traditional masculine role appealing to men once again.

  • Rorschach

    Another wittering article which fails to grasp the situation and boils down to yet another demand from women for men to “man up”.

    Why should we? Can we ask women to “woman up”?

    Feminism has “freed” women to live the way they want, to stomp around congratulating themselves on their successes and achievements. Good for you.
    The best news is that feminism has actually freed men. More and more men these days have opted out of the usual obligations and responsibilities – if women are so “equal”, why should men have to do anything for them?
    The real problem with feminism, unfortunately, is the way it constantly attacks men and labels us as abusers, rapists and pedophiles. Look at what happens to guys in uni. Two people get drunk, have sex, wake up in the morning and regret it … but she gets to call him a rapist.

    Women are getting better results and more uni places – but they still want men who are taller, richer and smarter. Tough. You can’t pick and choose when you are equal only when it suits you.

    I look forward to hearing about more and more men not getting married. Maybe someday all the inequalities and injustices will…

  • J

    The avalanche of man-hating articles lately are very satisfying.

    They never look at the world from a man’s perspective – they only view men as an appliance for women. Since women only view men as a sperm bank and a wallet, men are increasingly checking out. A man needs a woman like a bank needs a robber.

    By the way – men are happier than ever while women are more miserable than ever. Google the studies on this. It’s all that matters. :)

  • Jack

    You would never write such an article mocking and demonizing women’s flaws.

    I’m happy women are as bitter as they are. Most of them don’t view men as human beings and couldn’t spell ‘empathy’ without gagging. Porn, video games, beer, sports, hanging out? Sounds like fun. Unless your view of men is restricted to how they benefit whiny women.

  • Chris

    Step 1: Tell two generations of men they are sexist, brutish, scum of the earth who will forever be inferior to women.

    Step 2: Give women massive privilege in obtaining scholarships and jobs.

    Step 3: Indoctrinate generations of women into perceiving every man as a vile monster, and that being “strong and independent” requires being hateful to men.

    Step 4: Rig divorce and child custody laws to make marriage a hideous trap for men.

    Step 5: Dehumanize men to the point that we believe their only role is to be a servant to women.

    Step 6: Act surprised when men give women the middle finger.

    Step 7: Go back to step 1

    • sanddust

      There’s nothing strong and independent about a ‘woman’ who rejects the natural desire to be with a man. All that denial is nothing more than a huge heaping pile of insecurity. What you’re actually witnessing in most women who claim to not need a man to feel fulfilled is a mess of a human being. Understand that I’m referring to being with a solid man of honorable character, integrity.

  • Dino

    72% of female newlyweds expect to get divorced. It’s part of the package to them. Women aren’t interested in committing. They initiate nearly all the divorces. They’re interested in men committing to them.

    It’s hilarious how women drop out like flies at all the stressful and taxing career paths, searching to downgrade and have a man support them. They’re so delusional thinking that work is such a privilege.

    These young men will surpass them at earning like men always do. The only change that is occurring is that men are increasingly wising up to the manipulative intentions of women. Keep raping men in the family courts and see what happens.

  • Joe

    “The women are a little bewildered. They’re good girls. They followed the script: did well in high school, got into college, worked hard there, got out, got jobs, started looking around for someone special to share life with, and … ”

    First, you left out the part where, during that time, they ignored the studious guys and let themselves be used by the party boys they now resent.

    Second, who told them those were the rules, other than a bunch of women who believed that woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle? The rules should have been to find a kind, decent looking, intelligent industrious guy earlier in life, stick with him through school and eventually marry as his earning power goes up. Women are most attractive at 18-22 – sorry, it’s just how it is. Maybe even up to 25 or 26. Use that wisely, and don’t squander it with players and frat boys through your teens and twenties, while ignoring guys of character.

  • joe

    I know plenty of women my age who’ve not “followed the script.” This time of ours, with its depressed housing, jobless rates, rising education costs for decreasing value of college degrees has lead men and women into a host of new narratives that weren’t part of the Baby-boomer script.

    Come on, labeling a generation of men this way simply stokes some erroneous gender warfare debate. Baseless stereotyping. Let’s hurry and put the middle-class male threat level to orange!

    The success of my generation will be based on creating new narratives. In many ways previous post war generations had it easy. Go to college or get into manufacturing, do well, buy a home and have a better life than your parents did.

    Hey Millennials, beware of Boomers pedaling bunk theories based on the gender blame game. As a women, I’m not satisfied in pointer fingers. It’s weak.

  • Transmillenium
  • Bernard

    The answers to this story can be found in this thesis:

    http://www.singularity2050.com/the-misandry-bubble/

    ===================

  • Just Another

    If women want to be taken care of in a bad economy, then they should woman up andget a damn job. It’s 2012, ladies- you’re equal, now. So stop acting fiscally responsible and start taking care of yourselves.

    Oh, and to that 24-year-old woman who works for Nikelodeon? Drawing cartoons all day isn’t a job. Grow up.

  • YourDad

    Please get off MY couch, stop eating MY food, using MY house as yours and get out there and get YOUR own life in order.

    Stop taking advantage of your parents generosity and be a MAN and find your own way. If you don’t then you will be a loser forever.

    • mojo

      Maybe women need to woman-up and marry a stay-home man? After all, thats what men spent most of modern time doing when women could not provide for themselves, no?

  • Cloud

    Another question, ladies- what have YOU done for US lately? Seems that men are becoming selfish instead of selfless and women are having NO choice but to fend for themselves. You refused to follow tradition, men adapted and followed suit.

  • Toads

    Women don’t appear to understand cause and effect very well.

    Women were never truly oppressed, that is the big myth. That is why feminism actually liberated the oppressed group – the average working joe.

    This article is so illogical and juvenile that it makes women look more inferior, rather than men.

    I am glad that the costs of feminism are now transferring back to women.

  • Toads

    When video games are a better use of a man’s time than the modern woman, who has no wifely or motherly qualities whatsoever, projection from feminists is their desperate response.

    A man needs a modern woman like a bank needs a robber.

  • Professor Mentu

    “Something, it seems, is sucking the life out of guys quite literally.”

    “…says Jessica ¬Claremon, a blunt, outspoken 24-year-old”

    “more than one academic cites porn as a reason young men are content to…”

    There you have it. The whole article summed up in those three quotes. Men are having the life sucked out of them by disagreeable women who bring nothing to the table but attitude and a list of things they demand in a man, so the guys go home and watch porn.

    Sounds like a pretty good alternative to me. Women are saying “I don’t need a man. I can do it on my own” and men say “Ok. Bye.”

    Women need to be wanted and men want to be needed. We don’t want women who don’t need us, and women don’t need men who don’t want them. This isn’t rocket science, folks.

    Sincerely,

    Professor Mentu
    University of Man at Austin

  • Pz

    Men have a hard time at college because the American education system discriminates against them. Everthing is female oriented.
    Additionally men no longer want long term relationships because women c

  • Mark

    Can’t men make their own choices without generalized societal shame? Is the only alternative to have their lives relegated to someone else’s script?

    Have you considered that the so-called ‘script’ doesn’t work well for men?

    I love women. I could easily see myself committing to a woman for life, but I’m not going to enter into a one-sided contract with anyone… not even a woman that I love beyond measure. I’m sorry.

  • Bev

    He is a quote:
    “There is nothing more dangerous than to build a society with a large segment of people in that society who feel that they have no stake in it; who feel that that have nothing to lose. People who have stake in their society, protect that society, but when they don’t have it,
    they unconsciously want to destroy it.”

    — Martin Luther King Jr.

    Though this comment was made in a different context it is just as valid today when applied to young men of the western world. The subject of this article applies to and is happening in many more places than the US. Feminists should stop hand wringing and do some introspection. You created this situation.

  • J

    So what does the article writer propose? The incentives and rewards to men to MAN UP have been whittled away to nothing until there is only inordinate risk left for the the endless and life shortening self-sacrifice. With the side effects of the sexual revolution, better and more realistic porn, and soon the male pill, any intelligent man will do a little as makes him happy and not sign onto a long term, extremely expensive and mostly one sided contract called marriage.

  • Hagop

    Today’s young men are doing the only morally right thing: boycotting a society that views them as a cannon fodder; mindless ATMs to be discarded after use; unfeeling subhumans with no rights, only “duties”. So no, they’re not confused, it is you. Women always were the privileged class, but you felt that was not enough; that you can throw away your part of the social contract, discard even the small responsibilities that you had, spit in men’s faces and they still will worship you. And now you don’t even have the decency to admit your mistake, blaming instead the young males for not willing to endure your inhuman abuse. Seriously?

    • sanddust

      A man should treat the woman he’s with as if she’s the most beautiful woman on the planet, be exclusive, support her as the only one, do not allow anyone to make a disparaging remark, and never betray her trust. A woman should behave exactly the same way, support him in all his endeavors, be his trusted confidant, and eagerly lick up every drop of fluid that comes forth from his body. Men need that. So give it.

      • Omega Man

        You’re making a valiant attempt at trying to reconcile good men and good women. I pray that more women will adopt your attitude, before our society crumbles into oblivion.

  • Anon

    “In Boys Adrift, Leonard Sax says American men have gone astray because we’ve failed to provide them with a social construction of masculinity—an answer to the question “What makes a man a man?””

    Why always this default assumption of “We”? This unnamed “we” that is always supposed to “do something”?

    How about YOU just do nothing and leave us to decide?

    Once upon a time a “We”, called women, decided what it meant for men to be men.

    And what was masculine was whatever traits women found to be useful.

    The real problem in the culture when it comes to “masculinity” is that others try to define for men, besides the individual man, what it means for him to be himself.

  • Screw

    “That leaves young men with a long, long stretch of sowing wild oats—while young women tap their feet impatiently. (And not nearly as many people are marrying at all; in 1960, more than half of all 18-to-29-year-olds were wed; today, it’s around 20 percent.)”

    Are you freaking kidding me?! These so called ‘women’, the correct word starts with an ‘S’ and ends in a ‘T’, are doing nothing of the sort. They start sexing it up will in their teens and they are riding late into following morning with no such thoughts of marriage or children till they are well into their early thirties.

    Their vaginas are so stretched as to be wide enough to fit a carrier fleet through. They are a joke, not fit to be mothers, wives or moral figures to which to aspire to, but hell, they still feel they can lecture men. Give us a freaking break!

    Congratulations feminist, you earned this society. Please enjoy it.

  • Worn Out

    I am 60 years old. I have worked and raised a family, wearing myself out in the process. I work in a dead end job, waiting for retirement. I used to be an interesting guy when I was single, but now I’m just another boring old fart.

    I can’t complain though. My wife hasn’t divorced me, and we still sort of love each other. But she hectors me constantly for converting to a different religion than the one I was practicing when we married.

    I don’t see any benefit for young men to follow
    Ms. Hingborn’s advice and become an exhausted old broke down plow horse like me. Stick to your video games. Women aren’t worth the effort, and I was lucky enough to get a relatively good one.

  • john

    This article has become a nightmare for the author.

  • Sandy

    I find the comments very interesting, “Anonymous.”

  • Toads

    Sandy,

    Read The Misandry Bubble in order to learn more about why your article is immoral and wrong.

    The forces at work here are considerably more complex than you know.

    • Luke

      That’s a good article, Toads. I’d add these to the reading list:
      1) “The Garbage Generation” by Daniel Amneus
      2) “Home Economics” by Roger Devlin
      3) “The Return of Patriarchy” by Phillip Longman
      4) “The Woman Racket” by Steve Moxon
      5) “Taken Into Custody” by Dr. Stephen Baskerville
      6) Dr. Helen’s “Men on Strike” book

  • Neil

    Well done Sandy if you absorb these comments you have started to scratch the surface of the problem at large, have you got the ovaries to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?

    Ever increasing numbers of men have consciously or sub-consciously carried the cost/benefit analysis of marriage and family (including the exit costs) and made a rational decision to opt out.

    After decades of blatant misandry have been ignored by women its only when feminism starts hurting women do they finally get interested in the problem. Men won’t forget the betrayal that easily I’m afraid.

  • Jasper

    If a virtual world is more enjoyable than a real world with you, maybe you should take a closer look at yourselves.

  • Jasper

    If a virtual world is more enjoyable than a real world with you, maybe you should take a closer look at yourselves.

  • Astro

    http://owningyourshit.blogspot.com/2011/05/in-my-travels-through-opinionated-world.html

    For women, marriage is all benefit and zero risk, and that’s why women are whining about men’s reluctance to tie the knot. But for men, it’s the other way around–no guaranteed benefit, and the kind of risk an adrenaline junkie would eschew.
    But if he marries, he faces a 33% chance that his wife will leave him. If she does, his rights and responsibilities with respect to his children are often comparable to what they would be were those children conceived in casual hook-ups. He can and often does lose a portion of his assets to his wife (allocation of assets are generally not 50/50 when children are involved), and his financial responsibilities to his wife, in the form of a percentage of his income, can continue indefinitely, regardless of whether she is self-supporting, and regardless of the relative contributions each of them made towards the marital property and community assets.

  • Astro

    Since women are accomplishing “wonderful stuff”, when can we expect them to win Nobel prizes in science? Maybe apply Title IX to science and then see? Last 50+ years of “freedom from oppression” didnt make it happen.. so lets rig the game there also.

    And if men come anywhere close, lets just accuse them of false rapes etc and incarcerate them, or at least destroy their careers http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

  • GSJockey

    Lot’s of great comments to this piece, but I’ll just say that this issue can be boiled down quite simply:
    “Women today are offering men nothing that men want or need.”

    And the fact that the state of family law today has turned marriage into a financial trap for men is just the nail in the coffin. Women will have to become much, much more honest and self-critiquing for this situation to ever turn around.

  • minuteman

    Feminism freed men from the drudgery of having to work like slave to support our families. With that responsibility gone, we are now free to live our lives as we choose and we are very happy about it. There is nothing more fulfilling than not being married to a harpie.

  • MANUP

    The wimmenz are calling again. Whaaaaaa! Whaaaaaaa! You can hear their cries.

    Why aren’t you working for the benefit of corporate America or dying in our wars to free other wimmenz from the oppression of men elsewhere? This is totally unacceptable! Man up you slaves! For shame!

  • pat

    I’m a married 49 year old male. I’m also a father.

    Ms. Hingston makes some valid, interesting points. But for crying out loud let’s put aside the experts, professors, shrinks and professional pundits/societal auteurs and call a spade a spade.

    The main problem is parents. Sorry folks but you guys f**ked up. What ever good your parents gave you in the way of a good upbringing has been totally wasted. You’ve raised a nation of whiny, self-entitled protest hamsters. And we have to deal with them.

    With apologies to MS. Hingston, only a full blown idiot goes to school for Journalism without a backupplan. there are jobs out there. People like “Connor” don’t want to work chances are the guy has never mowed a lawn or snaked a toilet. get a job washing dishes or stocking shelves. Pay your way. I had two jobs in high school, did an internship with an engineering school and helped out in the family restaurant before i was allowed to vote. It’s not hard. It’s just work. You can always write in your spare time. Millions of hipsters do it all day long in coffee shops.

    Just complete the transition, kid. get a few whimiscal tats…

  • James

    I am in my late 40’s and nearing the end of my first and God willing only marriage. I loved my wife dearly for all the years we were together. I treated her like gold, never cheated on her, didn’t go out drinking with my friends, didn’t sit around the house watching football all weekend, I kept a steady job and provided for her and our children, and what did I get in return? She cheated on me at least 3 times that I know of, she treated me like dirt, tormented me with endless mind games, I had to basically beg for any kind of attention, and then she left me for a complete loser and when that went to hell an even bigger loser. Then she asks if maybe we could try again? Are you kidding me? I’m not playing this game anymore. Stop the ride I want to get off!

  • Jordan

    All my life people were telling me to go to college so I wouldn’t be flipping burgers my whole life. Years later and now in the recession these same people say I shouldn’t be too big to work flipping burgers or landscaping with a college degree. Sorry but all we want is the same opportunities offered everyone before us. Now there are no factories, plants, mills. Sorry if we are disallusioned with the whole “American Dream” right now.

  • Joanne

    I married at 19, children at 23 and 25 and my husband walked out on his family for another women. I Kept the house for 36 years; helped both children graduate college and told them ” at some point in your life you will need to come home for about 6 months to “get your life together” but only for six months rent free and no responsibilities. By the age of 26 six they both used up their “coming home time.” At the age of 49 I inally went to college and I have done it all on my own for the last 31 years. No complaints It’s what life deals you, please won’t everyone just learn to play nice together?

  • Jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

    • Luke

      Hi, Jimmy. Good for you, making the right decisions.
      Sounds like you lived for real the life of the geek in this comic strip:

      http://tinyurl.com/ldhhjsf

  • Jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • Jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • jimmy

    I learned everything about women in one week of my life. I spent 4 years in college single. I would have loved to have a woman to come home to at night but no, I wasn’t good enough for any of them.
    Then I graduated. Got a dot.com job in the first week for $55K. Showed off my check to one of my ex classmates and the word got out. Within 2 days, four girls, barely legal, started pursuing me, wearing the shortest miniskirts that were legal.
    Guess what? I told them all to f**k off. “You didn’t want me a week ago, you don’t want me now. Sorry, but I can afford my own woman”.
    Been single ever since. Get all my sex from pr0n and escorts. It works out much cheaper than the real thing and no child support lawsuits.
    You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts.
    See Ya.

  • Jack

    In Japan 60% of men under the age of forty have checked out altogether when it comes to a life of chivalry, provide and protect for women and (their) children. So much so in fact, the government has identified it as a critical economic crisis for the country. Instead, like here in the west, they are focusing on their own immediate and long-term personal happiness. The men who posted here, who are not a statistic or a story line, but who are the actual people this article is about, have made their points clear in a collective and unified voice. Unless or until women start to listen to these realities, they should expect these and many more fundamental changes for men.

  • amused

    “Real men stand up for the weak and disempowered’ really sweetheart? Quotas. affirmative action. BS degrees. The men are the weak and disempowered. Where is your article demanding women ‘woman up’ and charge into front line combat roles sweetheart? Have you included the casualty breakdown from Iraq? Afghanistan? Vietnam? World war 2? By gender? For there to be a society to be protected, it has to have value to the protectors. Both my father and stepfather lost their children to divorce. Their house. I watched half the men I served with in Iraq lose their wives, house, kids, 16 years of child support. A woman who is kinder than most in a support role at the college’s VA office asked me if I was afraid of “commitment.” I am a combat veteran. I was a machine gunner for a year in Iraq. Almost died from close range suicide bomb attacks, witnessed the aftermath of others. I’m struggling with PTSD, paranoia, trust issues from being forced for a year to perform patrols with locals wearing masks who we never knew whether they would be who they said they were, police local army etc., or impersonators wearing bombs to blow us up…

  • amused

    Modern marriage reminds me of suicide bombers. Get in close in disguise then blow up destroying your life. As much as my life sucks, 26, living with my parents no money no job, I almost have my college degree. I don’t have tens of thousands of dollars in child support, student loans, etc. I’m grateful I’m in a good place and worry about the men I served with who are still over there. So tell me sweetheart, why should I accept that my brothers are on the frontlines where they aren’t even told who the enemy is but over here they’re supposed to do everything for everyone else but themselves? I don’t blame them for drinking. They’re mostly alcoholics. Most can handle their liquor. The only reason I don’t drink is I’m afraid I would never stop. So don’t judge us too harshly sweetheart. After all, all those ‘losers’ you demand ‘man up’ are at least alive to play those video games of COD, and don’t give their families the shivers of doubt of whether they’ll come back alive in a month or week. They’re living their lives. You’re living yours. Next question. As an accomplished journalist and a writer…

  • amused

    I’m curious when you’ll toss out an article demanding women support men as they raise the children. After all, if the women are all men who else is going to raise the kids? Three quarters of the girls I know (19-99) aren’t qualified to be mothers. I’m all for progress. I’ll bake cookies, send the kids to school and keep the house cleaned. Flexibility goes both ways right? Go be a high powered journalist. Except women seem to hate the idea of a stay at home dad. Funny eh? When men’s ‘roles’ change as radically as women’s have in fifty years I’ll take garbage like this article seriously.

  • J

    along the lines of “men have the right to define happiness anyway they please, and it’s not up to anyone else to impose it”. I would like those same commenters to address the issue of immature adult males’ financial dependence on parents and women. How is their happiness related to the responsiblities they shove off onto others?

  • Kirk

    “I would like those same commenters to address the issue of immature adult males’ financial dependence on parents and women. How is their happiness related to the responsiblities they shove off onto others? ”

    I wasn’t aware that a large portion of men were financially dependent on women. Please provide some stats.

    As for the living at home issue, no one is denying that mooching off family members is wrong. The guys here are simply speaking out against the female-centric view of masculinity that has been drilled into their heads from an early age. In a culture that supposedly values egalitarianism, why is the concept of “masculinity” contingent on mens’ utility to women? It’s as simple as that.

  • Jos

    “…extended adolescence may be the accidental offspring of the Pill.”

    a brilliant observation and it could not be more timely considering the current national debate. we should think about the social consequences of a tax-payer subsidized program making the pill even more readily available. the children and young adults who will inherit the federally subsidized healthcare system (of the variety the President Obama & Co. have passed into law) will inherit a good system, but will probably be unwilling and uninterested to maintain it. they’ll be too busy watching porn and playing video games to care.
    overall this was probably the best article I’ve read in Philly Mag in years. seriously, keep up the good work.

  • Stormy

    I think the one quote from the college co-ed underlines the actual problem: “they’re choosing to do something that wastes their time and sucks the life out of them.” The assumption here, and throughoutt this article, seems to be that men only exist as a tool for serving the needs of other. Any time spent on their own happiness is “wasted”. If they have their own plans or opinions about anything, they’re being selfish. And so it goes.

    It’s not suprising that men are tired of being treated this way and increasingly responding by defying a society that demands they accept responsibility without offering any control to go along with it.

    Indeed, this whole article doesn’t seem at all concerned whether this leaves men unfulfilled or unhappy. It’s outraged that men could possibly be satisfied when there’s a woman out there that wants them to be doing something.

  • realistic
  • Toads

    There are no men who are ‘immature’ in relation to women. If anything, men are doing the morally right thing by refusing to be slaves.

    And to the stupid female who claimed that men were ‘financially dependent on women’, that is pure projection. Women even today are 100% dependent on men for money. Women only think otherwise because it is the government propping them up.

    Women said ‘a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle’. Men said ‘OK, c-ya’. Turns out that *women* are the ones who are not needed. Heh.

  • Conor

    Ever heard the phrase “correlation is not causation”? It’s probably the very first thing you learn about communication theory and I think you may have forgotten. This article is chock full of sweeping generalizations based on assumption. The maturity of an entire generation is not something that can be empirically measured, so don’t try! It’s completely subjective. How could you possibly try to generalize young men like myself by citing interviews with random girls at a bar as evidence? You even tried to assert that three times as many women than men are gay because “the guys they know are losers.” What’s next? Men are gay because girls have cooties?

  • Conor

    Ever heard the phrase “correlation is not causation”? It’s probably the very first thing you learn about communication theory and I think you may have forgotten. This article is chock full of sweeping generalizations based on assumption. The maturity of an entire generation is not something that can be empirically measured, so don’t try! It’s completely subjective. How could you possibly try to generalize young men like myself by citing interviews with random girls at a bar as evidence? You even tried to assert that three times as many women than men are gay because “the guys they know are losers.” What’s next? Men are gay because girls have cooties? Go back to school.

  • Marc

    Does this vapid cunt really drone on for 6 more pages? i’ve got video games to play and porn to watch. see ya later!

  • John

    I’d like to think that 14.6% of women are identifying as lesbians simply because they’ve realized that women are just better than men overall, ha. Not to be deprecating of men or anything (although it’s easy to think so from my post), but women are easier to think of as beautiful and other nice little adjectives — not to mention that they possess more positive qualities in this day and age…

  • Mumford

    “You’d think boys would be feeling bad about their lack of puissance. They’re not, especially, because we’ve painstakingly taught them never to be judgmental. When the authors of the book Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood polled young adults, 47 percent agreed that “morals are relative, there are not definite rights and wrongs for everybody.” If you want to lie in bed all day and beat up virtual hookers—dude, hey, that’s cool.”

    Are you f’ing serious? This literally has nothing to do with anything and if anything shows that men think outside the box

  • A

    treating women like women died when women demanded to be treated like men. It’s a concept the author and many others fundamentally misunderstand.

  • David

    I fit in practically all of the criteria that the author put forth and yet I can say for sure that it’s not my fault. Nobody hires because of education and degrees anymore, it’s all about relevant experience. And whining about younger generations is as old as Socrates. Give it a rest.

  • yeah

    People discovered that they don’t really have to fulfill society’s expectations. It goes for both genders.

  • Andrew

    Reading the article carefully I find the writer asks many good questions. Why are men changing the way they are? Sadly like many users mentioned there is a heavy tone of generalization and double speak (ala Woman are successful but men should be MORE SUCCESSFUL (and preferable own a business)! more balanced writing along with tighter sources would have made this a quality article. -21 year old male psychology major student

  • Jake

    Why does a man want a career? To move out of home.
    Why does he move out of home? To move in with his Spouse.

    The only reason the vast majority of men even need to work full time is to support a wife/girlfriend and maybe a child.
    All that’s happening is younger men are not interested in modern women, and as a result choosing to spend their time doing things they enjoy, rather than working their lives away to support someone they don’t even like.
    Personally, i only work 20 hours a week, yet I’m putting in the area of $1100 a month into my Savings account, even after $400 rent, simply because i stopped wasting money on women and drinking. And I’m only 20.

    Face it girls, the time of men having to do the chasing is over, you’re equal now, and that works both ways.

    In addition to that, if you’re a man, getting married in modern society is simply financial suicide. There isn’t a single tangible benefit to marriage for men, except of course, for the Tax cuts.

  • afjdlk

    Yeah, just what all young men want to do. Get married to a shrieking nag who will more likely than not divorce us within five years (most marriages fail and most divorces are initiated by women), and then be victimized by the courts which unfairly advantage women, to the point where marriage is now obsolete and intelligent men are refusing to enter such a onesided arrangement more and more.

    This is the bird coming home to roost. Not interested in what you’re selling us. It’s rotten.

  • Sig

    No one wants to work their ass off and pick up a girl later in life, who took their sweet time riding the dick carrousel and now wants to settle with the nearest paycheck.

    Cost/Benefit is higher for games, television, sports cars, etc. than bothering with a used up meat sack with no redeemable features.

    This is being approached from only one side, assuming only men are wrong. Think, why is it that women are less appealing for relationships now than they were 40 or 50 years ago?

  • tbvfcvfdv

    How come it was okay for women to decide how they wanted to live, but now that men do, it is wrong?

  • CUNT

    MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THEY FINALLY CRACKED?

    Ya know they dont want to be slaves…..are you women fucking serious?

    We provide everything for you , and in the past we dealt with it and did because you stayed at home and were faithful , now all women are cheap little cheating whores , hypocrites and scumbags , wanting one thing one day and the exact opposite the next day , “WHY DONT U SAY U LOVE ME?!?!” next day “YOUR TOO CLINGY DERP DERP”

    Women just want materials , things appease them like shiny things and chocolates like a 5 year old , we know you never grow up and stay that way…..we;ve known for 100’s of years , now we just wont put up with your shit anymore

  • Young Male

    Hey, why so mean? You know we can still read, right? I guess I should just go feel bad about myself some more.

  • Anonymous

    I find it strange that everytime i read an article like this, it sums up to “Men today are pussies! Women can’t get REAL MEN!”. Strangely, they never mention how women are materialistic, cheat on their spouses, or ANYTHING that is even the slightest bit negative about them at all. It’s always a man bashing article that ends with “Oh those poor poor women!”

  • who

    I just love seeing bad parents who didn’t offer their kids guidance lamenting about how terrible and awful the youth of today is. Did you teach your kids what it takes to be a man? No? Then kindly shut up and quit complaning about them being childish sissies.

  • JD

    So, because I am going to school for almost 10 years after high school (for about $10k a year) and I chose to stay at my childhood home since I can’t fit a 40 hour work week into my schedule, I am pitiful. Since if I decide to start a family it will be after I’m 30 (Because, you know, massive student loans), I am pitiful.

    You know what, I’ll take the games and porn, at least then I’m being responsible and saying that I can’t afford to support a family while saddled with debt.

  • John

    So, let’s see.

    If you have a hobby, you’re wasting your time away.
    If you act how you want and achieve happiness the way you want, you’re a loser. Except if you are a woman.
    If for some reason you do not want to marry or have children, you have a problem.
    If you don’t leave home after age X, you’re a despicable leecher regardless of the reason.
    If you don’t fullfil every single criteria down to the tiniest details determined, you’re not dateable. Regardless of that,apparently, all you ever need to do to get a girlfriend / wife is to live alone and have money, everything else is optional.

    Sure makes sense. It’s all videogames’ fault.

  • Anon

    The reason I stay single is because the kind of love I want doesn’t exist and the real thing is a pain

  • jason

    The author of this article is ridiculous. To say that there are more self-identifying lesbians now than there were 20 years ago (duh?) because men are “losers” is hilarious. Writer, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

  • Herp

    Yay for stereotypes. One of the reason real men have so much trouble finding women these days is because of idiots like the writer. A relationship is a shared commitment, and neither sex is entitled to absolutely nothing. I play video games and I serve my country fixing planes. This article only enforces my belief that feminists are extremely stupid; maybe even more stupid than religious extremists. All a feminist can look forward to is a stupid husband, because none of the smart ones will fall for stupid shit like this.

  • John

    As a society, we’ve abandoned responsibility and embraced short-term gratification. The result? Single moms. You wanted it, you got it ladies. Raise that child on your own. Show us how strong you really are.

  • Mike

    We don’t need to work ourselves to death anymore: As long as we aren’t a burden on our parents for too long, we don’t need to slave away in jobs we hate till we croak just to support a wife and kids. Hell, we don’t even HAVE to form families anymore, it’s not like the world is lacking population.

    A lot of us refuse to become beasts of burden for some angry female taskmaster, we’re fed up that our only value is our utility to women, and not our humanity. Men have had enough of being exploited, deal with it girls.

  • Jillian

    This article is dreadfully written, poorly researched and full of biased opinions with no basis in fact. As a woman I found it almost as insulting to my intelligence as it was insulting to men. I won’t go into all the ways in which this was done but it seems to me that the only thing an article like this can achieve is to make both genders dislike each other. At least my boyfriend and I managed to laugh at it for 5 minutes. It’s not worth taking any more seriously than that.

  • Rico

    “The women are a little bewildered. They’re good girls. They followed the script: did well in high school, got into college, worked hard there, got out, got jobs…”

    Well first off, I question that most young women are “good girls” – even when I graduated high school in the early 90s, there was a large minority of girls who had racked up an impressive partner count by graduation. It’s much worse now.

    And let’s talk about following the script, shall we? As a guy, I worked hard in high school, worked hard in college, got a decent job before I had even graduated, followed my mom’s advice to be nice and treat women with respect, etc. I was in good shape, a decent looking guy – hell, I even played guitar in a local rock band. Everything I had been told to do to find a good woman to marry and raise a family with. The girls should have been beating down my door, right? Nope – they were more interested in “finding themselves” (read: getting drunk and having one night stands with broke assholes)

  • James

    This article is clearly silly and written to sell copies. It’s yellow journalism in it’s simplest form; every single controversial angle is touched upon with a gross generalisation made to incite rebuke. Especially the “women are lesbians because men are losers” line.

    The author very much knew what she was doing when she wrote this article.

  • James

    Heavy on anecdotes light on data. Pathetic

  • J

    What makes this writer think that morality isn’t relative? Do they know anything about video games whatsoever? Our lives are meaningless, and I’m sure that people are figuring it out. It’s not a problem where white males feel left out, it’s apathy due to an understanding that they are a part of the worst generation since the 70’s, due to their horrible parents and bad birth placement. Now I’m not gonna say my parents are bad people, but they aren’t good parents. I fit into this demographic that you are pointing at here, and I reject your narrow viewpoint of our entire existence.

  • Mikhail

    I’m 24 years old, and I play a shit ton of video games. I also work in a trade 40 hours a week, it’s hard work but I enjoy it. I’ve been saving money since I got out of high school, and I have around $30k in the bank now, maybe more. I live with my girlfriend in an apartment, we’ve been together seven years. This article is disgusting, the sweeping general statements, the complete disregard for a young man’s happiness. I can say with honesty that video games saved my life; I’ve been severely depressed and close to killing myself on multiple occasions. When gaming, I set goals and achieved them, min/maxed statistics as efficiently as possible, worked for rewards and succeeded, etc. It’s a great mental workout. One game in particular caused me to look at my life, relate the problems that take place in the game to it, and realize very important things about happiness and what it truly is.
    So, is this article about me? I don’t f*cking think so, this article is disgusting propaganda and that’s all.

  • shawn

    thanks for bashing us men. even though i stay up playing games all night, i work 45 hours a week. i am a military vet with a combat tour to afghanistan as well. so just because u have had a bad experience because you chose a guy u clearly shouldnt have been with otherwise u wouldnt have posted this article.

  • shawn

    thanks for bashing us men. even though i stay up playing games all night, i work 45 hours a week. i am a military vet with a combat tour to afghanistan as well. so just because u have had a bad experience because you chose a guy u clearly shouldnt have been with otherwise u wouldnt have posted this article.

  • Nigger

    Is fucking dumb feminist propaganda

  • Jesse

    Feminists finally got what they wanted and it is still not good enough? Men were systematically emasculated all throughout the 90’s(at least in America) and now suddenly it’s the fault of men that they got sick of dealing with it? Stay classy, women. ::goes back to his video games::

  • MadBavarian

    “The majority of the guys my age that I meet are immature,” says Jessica ­Claremon, a blunt, outspoken 24-year-old who grew up in Fort Washington and now lives in New York City, where she works for Nickelodeon.

    So she spends her time producing radical leftist propaganda for Viacoms Children TV Channel and complains about childish men? Watch any show on Nickelodeon and you’ll see a weak beta male and a STRONG, INTELLIGENT WOMYN bossing them around. I don’t know a single show on the channel that portrays realistic roles of the sexes.

    Examples?
    Spongebob: Weak beta male who can’t even drive.
    Sandy: Rocket Scientist who is stronger than all of her male friends
    BONUS: She is from a traditionalistic state like Texas. Great tactic, get girls from a conservative state to identify with a radical feminist and make them insecure about being normal women.

    Fairly OddParents:
    Cosmo: Childish Idiot who can’t tie his shoelaces
    Wanda: Very Intelligent, Voice of Reason
    BONUS: The Parents are irrelevant, idiotic sidegags with no authority

    Drake & Josh: Two Brothers who get bossed around by their little sister, father is a moron, mother is in charge.

    The list just goes on and on, you can pick out virtually any children show made…

  • Anony

    The women want to be treated as equals but they want to tell men how to dress, work, act, what their hobbies and interests should be, that’s strange, because when men try to tell you how to do any of those things we’re sexist and chauvinist, it’s just interesting me playing videogames is a waste of time and a shameful behavior, but a woman playing videogames is unique and interesting, you want equality or you want superiority? I’ve nothing wrong with being considered/considering women as equals, but you will learn your place if you think you can try to change me simply because YOU disagree with my interests, regardless of your gender.

  • Shaunoez

    All we want is sex.
    well up until about 2 years ago, all I wanted was a woman I could date and marry, but All I see is women slutting around, so I lose respect for women and decide to just sleep around.

    none of them have jobs
    i have a full time job working in IT but i guess thats just for boys, despite the fact i make a salary its just for boys.

    fuck off with this complete trash.

    women followed the script?
    which women? the ones who are at university all day, study all night? the kind of women who wouldnt have volunteered to give out information to this? the women you asked are brain dead whores who are only good for a fuck.

  • Matt

    I have a degree, a full time job, a GF and I game every night. You mad?

  • matthew

    Someone please tell me if this is a joke article? It’s god damned terrible.

  • matthew

    Someone please tell me if this is a joke article? It’s god damned terrible.

  • n

    I think it’s kind of embarassing how a lot of women base their happiness, self worth (as well as other’s) and maturity by how big of a house they have, how much their husband makes and if they have kids or not.

    That is such a depressingly shallow and boring outlook on life that I thank raptor Jesus every day for the fact that my girlfriend is not like that.

  • Noname

    Found this linked to 4chan. Is this serious? This can’t be serious.

    Author is either trolling for views or incredibly stupid.

  • Fredric

    “By Sandy Hingston” Enough said. Women are expecting to much and giving to little. They want equal rights and all, but still demand us men to pay for everything. It’s the feminists fault.

  • John

    I’m 50. I’ve read this article. Ignore every single word of it. There is almost no upside in buying into being a husband, father, “responsible man” in the society we live in. Pursue your pleasures

    • WebsnWigs

      Good to hear that from someone with expierence

    • sanddust

      It’s the instantaneous self gratification attitude of BOTH genders that led to the decay of healthy and desirable male/female relationships in the first place. Therefore more of the same (as you suggest) won’t make anyone happier.

    • katie

      I am a grown woman, & I agree with your last sentence: Persue your passions. THAT is what is missing! For everyone. It seems that men these days have less tangible things to be passionate about, what with all the social media & gaming & instant gratification. Used to be when you persued a passion, you met someone who enjoyed the same thing, & bllammo! You fell in love. Guys, there has to be a middle ground somewhere! Yes, i’d be scared to death of being a classic “man” now, I.e., child support, alimony, etc. Marriage comes when it comes. And we don’t need any more kids on this planet. So have seperate bank accts, have lots of sex, & enjoy eachother. “Social contract” my ass.

  • Shawn

    I find it interesting how this article compares 1960s standards of “man” to today, as though the times haven’t changed but the men have.
    With an awful job economy, soaring tuition costs, etc, there are fewer and fewer reasons to “grow up” to modern men, and the whole “not married/no kids by 30″ takes 2 to tango.

  • Will

    Men have no incentive or need to get married and have kids as soon as is humanly possible. If anything, we have an incentive not to.

    These young men you so despise still have plenty of time. They can wait until 40 to get married if they want, and spend the next 20 years saving money, and enjoying life instead of paying for your clothes. We’re not slaving away at jobs we hate, just to borrow and mortgage our future to buy you a $10,000 piece of carbon and a house. We were willing to do these things once upon a time, and probably would still, but you changed the rules.

    Feminism has given women more opportunities and more independence. It has also emasculated a generation of men who have been raised to believe women don’t need them. Men are giving you what you said you wanted, but you can’t fight nature. Men are just doing what makes them happy, while your biological clocks are ticking away. Ours just tick slower.

  • Will

    Men have no incentive or need to get married and have kids as soon as is humanly possible. If anything, we have an incentive not to.

    These young men you so despise still have plenty of time. They can wait until 40 to get married if they want, and spend the next 20 years saving money, and enjoying life instead of paying for your clothes. We’re not slaving away at jobs we hate, just to borrow and mortgage our future to buy you a $10,000 piece of carbon and a house. We were willing to do these things once upon a time, and probably would still, but you changed the rules.

    Feminism has given women more opportunities and more independence. It has also emasculated a generation of men who have been raised to believe women don’t need them. Men are giving you what you said you wanted, but you can’t fight nature. Men are just doing what makes them happy, while your biological clocks are ticking away. Ours just tick slower.

  • Richard

    I think guys should support themselves just to take the burden off parents, but anything over and above that is optional, and realistically speaking men don’t owe it to women to go any extra mile. Know what you want, and take care of yourself. Personally I hate the idea of kids, and won’t be having any – it’s not my responsiiblity to want what women and the media want me to want. I also think that, frankly, a lot of people wringing their hands over these “manchildren” types need to stop whinging and just deal with it.

  • Will

    Men have no incentive or need to get married and have kids as soon as is humanly possible. If anything, we have an incentive not to.

    These young men you so despise still have plenty of time. They can wait until 40 to get married if they want, and spend the next 20 years saving money, and enjoying life instead of paying for your clothes. We’re not slaving away at jobs we hate, just to borrow and mortgage our future to buy you a $10,000 piece of carbon and a house. We were willing to do these things once upon a time, and probably would still, but you changed the rules.

    Feminism has given women more opportunities and more independence. It has also emasculated a generation of men who have been raised to believe women don’t need them. Men are giving you what you said you wanted, but you can’t fight nature. Men are just doing what makes them happy, while your biological clocks are ticking away. Ours just tick slower.

  • Will

    Men have no incentive or need to get married and have kids as soon as is humanly possible. If anything, we have an incentive not to.

    These young men you so despise still have plenty of time. They can wait until 40 to get married if they want, and spend the next 20 years saving money, and enjoying life instead of paying for your clothes. We’re not slaving away at jobs we hate, just to borrow and mortgage our future to buy you a $10,000 piece of carbon and a house. We were willing to do these things once upon a time, and probably would still, but you changed the rules.

    Feminism has given women more opportunities and more independence. It has also emasculated a generation of men who have been raised to believe women don’t need them. Men are giving you what you said you wanted, but you can’t fight nature. Men are just doing what makes them happy, while your biological clocks are ticking away. Ours just tick slower.

  • Will

    Men have no incentive or need to get married and have kids as soon as is humanly possible. If anything, we have an incentive not to.

    These young men you so despise still have plenty of time. They can wait until 40 to get married if they want, and spend the next 20 years saving money, and enjoying life instead of paying for your clothes. We’re not slaving away at jobs we hate, just to borrow and mortgage our future to buy you a $10,000 piece of carbon and a house. We were willing to do these things once upon a time, and probably would still, but you changed the rules.

    Feminism has given women more opportunities and more independence. It has also emasculated a generation of men who have been raised to believe women don’t need them. Men are giving you what you said you wanted, but you can’t fight nature. Men are just doing what makes them happy, while your biological clocks are ticking away. Ours just tick slower.

    • Jason

      I really enjoy stringing women along and using up their last few years before the biological clock stops ticking. I really enjoy when I dump them out of the blue. My goal is to use my wealth to court 5 more different women for a few years right when they are near being infertile and use up the last few years they have by wasting their time and lying about wanting to marry/wanting to get her pregnant and have kids when in reality I have a vasectomy and would never actually marry. Its so easy to trick women by saying the right things as woman in their 30s are so desperate to find a man especially if he owns a nice house and wants marriage and kids. The joy I get out of screwing these whores over is great, I strongly encourage you guys to do it too.

      • sanddust

        If what you wrote is true then you are unquestionably NOT a man. Don’t kid yourself. Every dishonorable act you described speaks volumes about YOU, not women.

      • Amanda Puccino

        You’re not better than the women you’re a bashing. But you’re just a product of
        our time. And you do
        better than these guys who are bashed
        in this article, they are forced to live in an
        involuntary celibate.

  • Cheese

    “The women are a little bewildered. They’re good girls. They followed the script”

    And that is the exact problem. Not all of us are interested in this cookie cutter life that has been forced upon us from birth. I for one am absolutely repulsed by the idea of creating a cute little “base” (buying a house), buying a car, waking up at 5 in the morning every damn day, and going to work so that I can dedicate over one third of my life to other people.

    I don’t care that I won’t have money, and your precious items that you have been taught to rely on. People are so needy that it disgusts me. You have to have your little TVs, and computers, and fancy coffee tables, etc. Is the idea of someone not being attracted to all of that stuff really that taboo, and unfathomable? Why are you attracted to “men” who you know damn well only went to college and went through the process in the exact way he was pressured to, only so that he could consistently get laid eventually? No woman wants something different. That is why you will always come in second place. You don’t have…

  • anony

    the amount of cultural – Marxist propaganda in this article is simply unbelievable.

    “white men have become lazy and stupid because hummmm humm video games yes video games and porn yes that’s why. haha I am so smart because I have degree in sociology from Harvard haha” give me a fucking break..

    btw I have Chemistry degree from a good university and while most of my female colleagues already have jobs no employer will replay to my applications unless I have a masters and/or 2-3 years experience.

  • Iduna

    Yes, all of them. It’s not fucking difficult to do the math on who is occupying all of the gainful employment in this country; or who removed most of it in the first place; or who is complaining the most about the effects of their own stupidity: Thoughtless baby boomers.

  • Dan

    Maybe if men werent devalued by rampant feminism in every aspect of society, and the entire role of the husband and father in our civilization wasn’t revoked to please militant feminists, maybe if women weren’t favoured for jobs and positions to promote gender equality in the workplace, I might want to go out and get a job, and raise a family. As it is, because of ridiculous laws that favour women, I can be accused of rape with no evidence at all and treated as a rapist untill I am cleared, losing my job, family and friends. I be divorced with no fault at all, lose my children, property and income in that no-fault divorce, be roped into paying child support for children I’m not allowed to see in that same divorce, go to prison because I can’t afford to pay that child support. I can fall in love with a woman, and have her destroy my entire life out of nothing more than boredom, take my children, tear apart my family, take my house, my property and my income, even destroy my reputation, and I don’t have to have done anything wrong. Society teaches women that men aren’t feeling…

  • grerp

    I can’t see anything past March 5th.

  • Aiguille

    Women got what they wanted. I fail to see the issue here.

    They are in power more than ever before; young men are, on the whole, kinder, more charitable, and more sensitive to feminist issues; government support for women is at an all-time high…

    I could go on, but the point is that they got what they wanted. Why are they blaming their continuing unhappiness on young men, when the most we ask for nowadays is just to be left alone?

    Most of us young males out there realize that relationships, marriage, and fatherhood is like sitting under the sword of Damocles, and it’s very understandable that most wouldn’t want to take that risk. Marriage is like a business venture nowadays. If they want to make the contract more appealing, simply lower the risk.

  • Richard

    Where do I, and the fucks I give, come in?

    I’m not going to quit vidya or animu just because some bitches whine at me.

    THEY need to change their ways.

  • No

    I’m not gonna change the way I live my life just because a group of sluts who take it in the ass daily bitch and moan about it. Infact, it might actually encourage me to continue doing it just to rustle their jimmies.

  • Jack

    You got equality. Deal with it you entitled sluts. It’s gotten to the point where men would rather sit and home and have fun by themselves than put up with your senseless, vain bullshit.

    That’s the system you’ve made for yourself, so I sure hope you’re ready to deal with it.

  • Drew

    I’d just like to throw out there that I am a twenty-three year old male, who has a real job with benefits, I’m in great shape, I have a long relationship, I’m a college graduate, I don’t live at

  • Issaih

    It’s called a recession. We are not going to push our debt into the burden of raising a family

    Grow up.

  • Michael

    This article is so biased it’s actually a bit funny. I guess men have realized the vanity of material success, since apparently the only indicators of doing well in life are now having a nice woman, having kids with your woman, leaving your kids at daycare since both of you work now, and making sure you make 100k+ at some wage-slave cubicle farm. None of that is appealing. Myself? I’m becoming a pilot, and it’ll be about 10 years before I earn real money, but I’m doing what I want, and more importantly it’s awesome.

  • Iris

    I’ve had a vasectomy preformed, guess I’m just a waste of space to women everywhere because I’ve taken control of my reproductive rights. And now they’re all turning lesbian!

    This article makes me sick to my stomach.

  • Anon

    All I get from this is “Why don’t the men I know have jobs so they can take care of me so I don’t have to do anything?”

  • Anon

    All I get from this is “Why don’t the men I know have jobs so they can take care of me so I don’t have to do anything?”

  • Nolan

    Another article that is laced with half-truths, lies, and exaggerations. Remove all the embellishment and flowery, pseudo-intellectual trash, and your left with an article that is trying to drive home that females > males. A shame really, this is all going to end badly for you penis envying plebs. Men are wising up to you promiscuous, hypocritical, serpents posing as academics. Keep casting stones at the Goliath, he shall wake soon.

  • Chi

    The men are talking about women, all women, the women they’d like to date and marry, and are they ever pissed. Here’s what they’re saying:

    “All they want is relationships. They don’t care about sex.”

    “They’re so lazy.”

    “All they do is complain.”

    “They aren’t women. They’re girls.”

  • Brad Effin

    Interesting viewpoints… Seems somewhat sensationalized, though.

    Either way, this is likely just the fallout of a major social shift. Guys can’t move along the same railways as they have historically in the “oppressive patriarchy” of yesteryears… Traditional “male standards” are being re-evaluated and redefined by both genders, and there’s a generation or so that’ll be caught in that upheaval.
    Suck it up, ladies. These are the growing pains of social progress.marriage

  • Cody

    According to this article it is my fault at the age of 20 I moved out with my girlfriend, got a job, and then ended up with over 5k in debt because she was forging checks in my name all while I took care of her and her kid. My fault! I’m still clawing out of debt because my town has a handful of jobs that pay more than 10 bucks an hour, even with college.

  • marianne

    I get it: you boys are mad that no one is giving you participation trophies anymore. Now u are all grown up and don’t want to work for anything. Newsflash: Your parents PAID for those trophies. Now

  • Ben

    I’m about to graduate law school. I do not live at home. I DO play video games. I am not married, despite believing that it is the only context in which sex can occur morally. So I’m celibate. By the Grace of God I’ve kicked the porn habit, too. I do not desire to be married to any of the career driven ladies I’ve met. When a woman tells me she wants to focus on her career and have at most one child, I stop thinking of her as a prospect for marriage. I grew up in a big family and want a big family. A woman who doesn’t share that dream is not worth the time and money to pursue romantically.

  • Herp

    I fall in that demographic. I’m a liberal English teacher who did gender and sexuality studies at university, and enjoyed them. I have loads of different short term girlfriends, dress like a full-blown hipster, and generally treat my body like shit. I have no plans for a family or a relationship longer than it takes for me to find someone more attractive. I treat women like shit and have been told this to my face, but I couldn’t care less. I make decent money, live on my own and get all my entertainment for free- what more do I want?

  • Generic

    I’m a gen Xer and a little past this article’s target demographic, but let me describe a recent experience: I work in project management. Women are taking over that career field because of the supposed myth of women being better communicators. My last 3 bosses? Women. My coworkers? More than half are women. My most recent boss, rather than confronting an issue she had with me, reported me to her homosexual boss because “she doesn’t like confrontation.” So I was fired before I even had a chance to address any issues. Why? Because I dared to speak my mind. Women won’t do it. In that workplace they were catty and backstabbing and manipulative. My homosexual boss’ boss? A woman. The CIO? A woman. You can’t tell me that there are no men qualified. Companies are selecting for women because they are cheaper labor. I guess its fitting that only a gay man can be a manager there. Yes, I’m a white male. Look what the social programs and minority affirmative action programs have wrought.

  • Bill

    I would rather play video games and watch porn all night than having an angry and entitled princess rule my life.

    And no… sex isn’t worth it.

    • Steven B

      sex isn’t a given in marriage anymore…. Women screw higher value men when they are single and then aren’t happy with their equal when they marry so usually are not sexually attracted to them. Honestly, porn is better then a 30+ year old aging, nagging woman that is turning into a land whale. Why would any man pay full price for a used car that other men got to drive for free when the car was new. If the whores want to practice price discrimination on me, expect to get led on. Women loose a lot of power when they age and they are going to loose a hell of a lot more power soon once men get a birth control pill which feminists have been lobbying against for years because they will loose the power to trap men when they want to have kids.

    • Wes From Callii

      Dood you’re missing the point!
      Women rock my sox ;).

      But ya know, gotta wear pants,
      but sometimes we both wear skirts.

  • Jamie

    Though generalist and sweeping at times, I appreciate what this article brings to light around the problems of masculinity and performing “man” as the universal, locus of (phallic) power. I do agree that living with your parents for too long stunts and stultifies psychological growth, but I also identify with the necessity to do so–having went so long myself, without a job (now in a temporary one) in the face of crippling student loan debt. However, I wonder does this article and its audience care what men are doing outside the straight, white, heterosexual, (upper) middle class are doing? This sounds like mainline boy (and girl) problems. Also, why do we have to measure our lives by the 1950’s? Because it was the pinnacle of white, middle class, heteronormative life? Also, feminism does not denigrate masculinity or men or maleness but the ideology of domination that permeates Western culture on various levels—sex, race, and class, that men typically benefit from.

    #we-really-are-becoming-the-men-we-want-to-marry.

  • Tom

    While it seems true enough to the casual observer that men are overstaying their visit in adolescence, this article has way too many generalizations.

  • jorge

    Like many of life’s changes, social change, particularly changes we view as negative ones, are pretty hard for us to bear. Although I applaud the wish to inform the public of a troublesome trend, and I also condone an honest look at the kinds of factors associated with or causal to that trend, I don’t think this kind of non-scientific speculation serves anyone. Look at the reaction it’s caused — dividing folks largely along gender lines because of the sweeping and hurtful non-substantiated generalizations in the piece. This is truly truly truly bad journalism.

  • Orphan

    The short answer to a long question is – the reward for being the model male is not commensurate with the reward. It never was commensurate with the reward, in point of fact, but until recently an enforced lack of alternatives kept things running (men were systematically excluded from charity previous to the modern era, for example).

    Your article is effectively “Why women should care.” You fail to address at all why men should.

  • Derk

    >Baww why won’t a man come and make all the money for me while I spend all the time with my friends and my kids?

    You asked for equality, deal with it

  • Sirena

    I am a woman, and I totally side with the men on this one. The expectations that woman have of men do not suffice anymore in a world where we have fought and strived for equality. We got exactly what we wanted and now we’re still expecting men to go the extra mile. Its a give and take. Honestly, I am offended that we aren’t citing the fact that some woman (maybe alot) actually don’t want families and would rather have sex and play video games too??!! This is coming from a mother (me) of a 3 year old too!! If saying, “until death do us part” also means you look forward to not sleeping in the same bed some day, then maybe marriage and the societal norms and rules that coincide with marriage don’t apply anymore. My advice: do what makes you happy as long as you aren’t harming others. If in fact you meet someone along the way that you would like to spend the rest of your life with then it should be the icing on the cake. Woman (and men) should be happy with themselves and their life first and foremost, and then…

  • Oogey

    Youtube: “Feminism and the Disposable Male” by girlwriteswhat.

  • registration

    I’m 26, served in the Iraq war, came back, got an engineering degree and then a job. I will never marry.

    Marriage is no longer necessary to perpetuate the species, and ideas and technologies breed faster than genes and upbringing.

    The only reasons are personal, and that contract is just bad business. I can get trust and sex without the catastrophic risk of betrayal and penury and legal battles marriage enforces.

    It’s an prefabbed cultural scam for women to exploit, and culture is the only reason it survives under the lens of modern communications.

  • Justin

    Just want to let you know that I am an unemployed, 28-years old, American male; who plays videogames at least five times a week and on average upward of two hours a day; and who regularly browses the Internet for videos of women in various states of undress and sexual conduct, with the purpose of becoming sexually aroused.

    I am also the kind of guy who has never cheated on a woman, quit a job, or shirked responsibility. I do not smoke, only consume alcohol on two or three special occasions a year, and have not partaken of drugs of any kind in the better part of a decade.

    I am a homemaker, a father of two, who prepares three meals a day for three or four people. I vacuum the carpet. I do laundry and dishes. I make love to my wife rather passionately whenever opportunity arises, and I am a generous lover.

    My other hobbies include following professional baseball, renting indie films, and studying the roots and traditions of culinary arts. I am an aspiring novelist, and I can carry a tune.

    I have always been able to make time for my family. I have not…

  • Daniel

    Yeah, and with what jobs? I’ve worked at the same job for the past four years, earning only $7.50 per hour.

    This article betrays a serious sense of entitlement of its writer: she wants men to

  • haha

    I think many women feel now a days a bf should be a best friend and it is all about the inside blah blah blah.. Yeah I have more fun doing guy things with guys. Also because of this my high salary doesnt mean anything to a woman. It seems women bring the death of careers and want to be pampered… pampering is your fathers job. So in short… yeah sex is a huge deal and since I dont like to clean or cook that’s at the top of the list too. I could care less if a woman has a nice career, I make enough money to have a stay at home wife at the age of 26. So in short, no dont really care to marry women, especially since sex is accepted outside of marriage. I would for a family, but mid 20s females are invested in partying and careers. So in short women wanted careers and rights… well that’s cool, just dont act surprised when we just dont care to sweep someone off their feet because they have a nice education or career.

  • Daniel

    Why would we men want self-absorbed, greedy, shrill resource-drags?

    We got nothing from the relationship, while you take, take, take.

  • Marc

    This article scratches the surface of something that exists, but I felt like the writer was someone who watched “Boyz n’ the Hood” & thought they completely understood the plight of the black man.
    Honestly, when I read the quotes on facebook meaning men don’t now need women to set up social engagements, or men don’t have their own places because they don’t need their own closets to stash a physical porn collection, I thought I was being “punk’d”.

  • Mike

    This honestly felt like an Onion article. A neat little point, & then all these absurd “facts” & “quotes” to back it up.

  • JD

    This article felt as insightful, well thought, & pointed out the true problem as well as my Grandmother does when she complains that “the blacks” are taking over the neighborhood.

  • Stalin

    Why would men want to marry a modern woman?

    To cook their own dinners, finance her lifestyle while she sleeps with another man, go through a divorce and then pay alimony?

    Do yourselves a favour broes, get yourself a Thai transsexual.

    They’re grateful for whatever they can get, they don’t complain and they don’t get pregnant.

  • Jim

    The social contract has changed.

    We’ve encouraged divorce, given the children by default to the mother, and even tried to institute lifetime alimony.

    We’ve expanded the definition of rape to include what many people believe to be consensual sex, and then instituted policies in colleges whereby men are presumed guilty.

    We force men to pay child support for another man’s child.

    Education has been focused on girls, letting many boys slip through the cracks.

    We’ve trained the world that, whatever happens in a relationship, it’s always the man’s fault.

    All of these things, and many more, have been done to increase the security for women, which is a laudable goal.

    Can you really tell me that marriage is a good thing for men? It is not, and men know it.

    Today’s men have seen their parents and/or the parents of their friends get divorced. They know how common this is, and how the family court system is likely to treat them.

    Men are not stupid. They know that the trend in society is to try to marginalize them as much as possible. They know that they are considered useless and disposable, and that their potential contributions to a relationship and to society will never be…

  • Corey

    This is what we get for taking competition out of society. Young boys and men thrive on competition, and we used to have outlets for it. Remember recess and gym sports like boxing, rope climbing, and track? There were once pure, visible ways to prove our worth.

    These days, we don’t keep score, “everybody wins”. No, false, wrong, men need competition to grow. We are a bunch of pussies today because we’ve taken everything manly out of growing up. Dear god, we wouldn’t want to harm the children’s “sensibilities” now, would we?

  • Matthew

    Spend 16 years being told how great women are, how they can do anything they want to do; spend 16 years being told how men are aggressive pigs, responsible for all the worlds’ ills. We’re horrible

  • Patrick

    Why are any of us to believe this bias bullshit? At least get your so called rights in order before you attempt to call out the other sex with this kind of dribble.

  • matt

    29 Male Married w/ 3 Kids
    Wife is a teacher with a Masters
    I have a bach and am a retail manager (dream job I know right!! jk)

    People need to mind their own business, worry about them and their own, and chill out of everyone else.

    I pay my bills, have excellent credit, love my family, and have a 2:1 Kill: Death ratio in Modern Warfare…

    I found this article on a World of Warcraft forum which I have 6 level 85’s and have high end raided…

    Prejudice and ignorance go hand in hand over and over again. So easy to point fingers.

    I won’t be a millionaire, but I will raise my kids to be smart, hard working, and independent… so that “free thinkers” and “journalists” silly words will remain just that

  • Karl

    Shaun absolutely did NOT ask for a reprint of this, or if he did, it was to demonstrate terrible, awkward, misdirected, and over-punctuated rag writing.

    I’m a 30 year old male with a good job, my own home, and (despite not being a professional writer) a thousand times the writing ability Ms. Sandy Hingston evinces in any page she’s ever disgraced with her name.

    Then again, there are no real writers left at any of the major Philadelphia print publications. So Sandy, you’re in good, terrible company.

  • Jackie

    As a woman who grew up as a child in the ’60s. The idea of women working out of the home, getting an education, and raising children is as old as time & memorial. People just didn’t talk about it.
    As for the young woman who made mentioned about “trudburger”. How can she expect to be treated seriously in life. The women today want everyone to meet up to there standards. There is a thing called mutual respect for another human being. Which these women are not taught. Until then it will continue to be a waiting game. Very sad.

  • George

    This is the effect of the new socialism thrust upon American society. The Europeans went through it in the 60’s and 70’s. The Italians call them Mammoni. Take away all the support structures, take away medical insurance until they are 28 and they will grow up PDQ. There is always the military..

  • Josh

    There’s no need to repeat the clear message repeated throughout these comments with respect to the subject matter of the article. I’ll only say that im shocked at how illogically written this article was. Like the commenter above me pointed out, the author appears not to have learned that correlation does not equal causation, since she continually jumped to conclusions that were not justified in the article. In several places the non sequitars that comprise her “reasoning” are laughable. I googled the authors name wondering what her background in writing was, and was not surprised to learn it’s in romance novels, a genre which does not value or practice rigorously rational thinking.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in…

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    I feel like just because women are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity.

  • Carrie

    are successful in the workfeild and in school, dose’nt mean men can’t be. I don’t see why one gender has to be belittled for the other to be successful. So is the answer for me to drop out of college and forego my plans to be a labrotory technologist and stay in the kitchen so men can feel better about themselves? What happens when mommy and daddy die and you have no family of your own to fall back on? Face it your parents did their job raising you and want you out of their house but are too nice to say it. An xbox and porn might seem like all you need and sure you can bang a hooker, but do any of those things tell you they love you at night? Like a good woman and a chld would? If woman haveing rights makes guys like this that’s pretty pathetic. Grow up take some responsiblity. I enjoy the freedoms this country has allowed me in eduacation and carrears, but I also would take the time to love a family, cook, clean, make cookies, and all that. When theses guys are in their 60’s will this life style…

  • Carrie

    To all the men out there instead of whining and bitching about all of the oppurtunities that others have how about you “man up” and I don’t know how about finish school and try to do well insted of blaming everyone else. Think about how hard it was for women for to get into a good school and in work force, it’s not our fault we’re more dedicated and are striving. You can too just shut up and do it no one is stopping you. And we still want you for some reason.

  • bam

    1. divorce courts are terribly biased against men
    2. men are perpetual punching bags for feminazis, government and media
    3. government enforced “equality”
    4. false rape claims by the millions
    5. “hate” speech laws destroying FREE speech
    6. welfare and “reverse discrimination”
    7. the culture of SlutWalk
    8. the “opressor-opressed” dementia, where men are always to blame

    you know what, Multicultural Marxists? we’re not playing this game anymore.
    If you want your utopian egalitarian nightmare to come to reality…….WORK AND PAY FOR IT YOURSELVES.

  • Susan

    Feminism and it’s successful destruction of gender roles is primarily responsible for the way men act. Why should he pay for dinner when you make just as much as he does, why get married when there’s a 50% chance of you running away with the kids and half is paycheck?

  • Realiti

    Social contracts. The contract of chivalry is very different from that of equality. The women these days would like to have the perks of both and responsibilities of neither. Understandable, but nobody’s standing up to say “no bloody way.” I am supposed to treat women as my equal… until a ship is sinking, then it’s women first. I’m supposed to make the exact same wages as a woman on a job, but I’m supposed to pay for her meal on a date. It’s “a woman’s body” when she considers an abortion – my views don’t matter. When she decides not to abort and demand child support from me, it’s my duty – even if I told her to have an abortion.
    Frankly, that’s bullshit. Unequal status under chivalry was a reflection of unequal responsibility. Equal status, equal responsibility. Ladies, woman-up. You’re equal. It’s the 21st century. You’re well past the fainting couch.

    • Amanda Puccino

      I am a woman and you sir, is absolute right about that!

  • Jason

    I am looking for my Sugar Mama. When she picks me for her BF, I’ll be on Easy Street.

  • Jason

    I am looking for my Sugar Mama. When she picks me for her BF, I’ll be on Easy Street.

  • Bob

    To all those commentators lamenting that women “want too much” from them, and that they are too good to “owe anyone their labor,” that they should have the right to choose their path to happiness, and that no one can force them to commit:

    Stop for a second and realize that there is no one asking for anything from you. No one wants to marry you. No one has yet given any commitment to you. No one is begging you for your DNA. No one is impressed.

    Part of the point of this article is that you have to deserve these things. Part of the problem is that some men – having done very little with their lives – somehow still feel entitled to being on the receiving end. If all you got from this article is that women want you, you are both an unskilled reader and far too self-absorbed.

    And it’s not that we are – God forbid – asking anything of you. It’s just that we pity you a little bit for missing out.

    • Shubhankar Chaudhuri

      some men – having done very little with their lives – somehow still feel entitled to being on the receiving end

      –sad, how can we distinguish these creatures from majority of women ?

  • crazy whippersnappers

    I’m a happily-married, gainfully-employed 29-year-old male and find this article full of crap.

    Both young men and young women are taking longer to get “launched” after college, because we’ve been in a recession and an undergraduate degree isn’t worth nearly what it once was.

    Although males certainly consume more, both guys and girls today play more video games and consume more pr0n than previous generations.

    And as for those jobs for 18-25 year old guys (manufacturing, unskilled labor, etc), those were all streamlined, right-sized, downsized, and outsourced by successful Boomers and Gen-Xers. You can’t make a semi-living wage with two years of high school pumping gas anymore.

    Is Gen Y lazy, entitled, and sometimes foolish? Of course–we’re young. Every generation is when they’re young, then wises up later. This article reads more like “get off my lawn” than the wisdom of experience.

  • Kris

    Why does our society hate males?

    The only way things got as bad as they are, and the reason for the sheer ignorance of the writer: Males as a class are systematically depressed due to the constant hatred and bigotry we are forced to endure.

    Articles like these cause me to re-commit my abstinence to myself.

    The more the mainstream media covers up the war on males, and sides with the feminist hate movement(feminism is not, nor has ever been an egalitarian movement) will only cause the further alienation of America’s male population.

    You can lie and distort the issue, but you can’t address the difficulties males are having in education without talking about the fake girl crisis the AAUW conjured up using fabricated reports. An act that caused Congress to spend billions(in today’s money) to reformat the educational system to be girl friendly.

    Combine that with the zeal of teachers and guidance counselors to “help the girls”, and throw boy’s under the bus.

    We will never forgive and we will never forget.

  • Mark Neil

    Why is it, when men were doing better in school and career, it was levied on discrimination (and still is, for STEM fields, the only place women don’t dominate), yet despite 40 years of tailoring the education system and workplace environment to suit women, without a second thought to men, the only excuse for men’s failures is “they are inept children refusing to grow up”. Ever consider, maybe, just maybe, tossing men to the side for 40 years, denigrating them constantly (as seen in the media with the idiotic, inept, manchild rolemodels seen in virtually every commercial or sitcom) might have had a negative effect on men? That maybe, just maybe, this is the inevitable outcome of striving for equality by looking solely at one gender? Isn’t it a little sexist to lay the blame square on some male deficiency without even exploring the possibility of alternative causes (which are plentiful on the net. Google “globe and mail failing boys” and there is a 6 part story on the subject, and none of it lays the blame on masculinity like you do here.)

  • Phil

    This phenomenon parallels the “trophy generation”, which also stems from the baby boomers, who, while rebellious themselves, like a nice compliant generation that (i) doesn’t challenge them, and (ii) reflects well on them. Females fit the bill better than males.

  • Kristin

    It’s interesting so many men read this article as an anti-male piece. As a mother of three young men, it scares me to read about the lack of drive. Young men need to go to battle for something. Fine, you don’t want to do it for women? Do it for yourself. Not working and being satisfied with waiting for the perfect job is disturbing. Get a JOB! It’s easy to blame the economy, but not working towards something gives us people without a reason for living. That ain’t good!

    • Shubhankar Chaudhuri

      the thing is, men have mastered the game which the women play – leeching off the nation; however, I wish none of the future generation plays the game

  • van

    “…That leaves young men with a long, long stretch of sowing wild oats—while young women tap their feet impatiently…”

    Other way around. In a non-monogamous culture, almost all female attention goes to a select few “alpha” men, while most men are rejected.

    I was one of the good guys, I got an education and worked hard, and would gladly have married young — but I spent all my 20s and most of my 30’s “tapping my feet impatiently” while the women of my generation played around with badboys. If I had to do it all over again, in today’s even worse cultural climate, I just might not bother.

    Thus, the sexual revolution has created a perverse incentive structure. Men are divided into 2 groups –

    (a) “alphas”, who can get sex without work — heck, they can live off their girlfriends, and
    (b) “betas”, the vast rejected majority, who canNOT get sex no matter how hard they work!

    In either case, what’s the incentive to work?

    The old rule, “get a job, get married, then and only then can you have sex” gave men healthy incentives.

    • Steven B

      I don’t care if traditionalism came back tomorrow, I will never put the shackles of slavery on again and return to the plantation.

  • Michelle

    This article was certainly worth a read, and it definitely made my day. I’m still in college, and this gives a very bleak view of what I can expect once I enter the working world as an ambitious woman. I anticipate loneliness and disappointment, so I don’t seek out a relationship. But this is because I haven’t learned enough. If men and women honestly took the time to learn more about each other, the world might be better off. It would discard all the blasphemous stereotypes of today’s society.

  • Robert

    There are some undercurrents that were not touched upon in the article. Others have suggested to read “The Misandry Bubble.” Please Google it. Also, I discovered a WOMAN on Youtube, “GirlWritesWhat,” who has posted several extremely logical and cogent arugments explaining why men are the way they are today.

  • Kevin

    So according to this woman it’s not OK to stay with my parents (whom I love and appreciate and help around the house), play video games (which I love and have no problem admitting), look at porn (which you know, 99% of straight men do regularly), or avoid jobs that we hate (which would only be what we do for the majority of our lives)? Sounds like fun.

    Yeah, I think I’ll take being a failure of a man in this woman’s eyes if it means I never have to put up with her.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      someone had to do all of that for you to have the life you live.

  • Lola

    What a load of bs. Your gen is far more selfish, than your parents gen.

  • Lola

    “You ladies have “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives”. I have my pr0n and escorts. See Ya.”

    Wow. Both choices are sad.

  • Not A Whiner

    “The success of my generation will be based on creating new narratives. In many ways previous post war generations had it easy.”

    Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers started the creating new narratives. Lets keep it real.

  • ball

    What an asswipish article, from yet another narcissistic woman who hasn’t quite got the equation that in this era of the debunked ‘masturbation-makes-you-go-blind’ myth, videogames are an ecological approach to pleasure, experiencing the speed of Multi Theft Auto instead of the relativism of the immature women from Sex and the City who haven’t read Freud and Nietszche.

  • GET A

    Where do I begin? As a successful guy at 27, this article is right on the money. I went to college, graduated, got a good job and worked my way up like you’re supposed to!! Guys, WAKE UP! Nobody is just going to hand you anything, you have to work for it and thats what these guys are missing. You all are sad lil boys and disgust me. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE!

  • Jillian

    So….men need to feel like they are over powering someone to be motivated? This is insane. I don’t ze why there can’t be a partnership and shared success instead of men blaming this on femenisism ad pouting like little boys. Fine, go ahead and give up on your dreams and replace them with a video game and porn, how about we add a nipple to your beer bottle so you dont spill any on your power ranger sheets?

    • http://www.phillymag.com John Galt

      Sorry, but the shaming language doesn’t work on us men anymore.
      You manhaters are going to have to do some self-introspection, for a change — because we men have wised up and see your manipulative shenanigans for what they are.
      And don’t trot out the ‘NAWALT’ argument; it doesn’t fly anymore, either.

      Until you females want to have a serious discussion about what is wrong with male/female relations today with relying on shaming and ‘ad hominem’ attacks, save your breath, go away and leave us be.

      Because we men have found that we can live fine and satisfying lives without you — and (ironically) we have you to thank for that.

      And remember this: we men DO NOT “OWE” YOU ANYTHING — not relationships, not marriage, not families, NOTHING.
      Our lives are our own, to spend as WE see fit.

      This is the way we have to handle living in the society that you manhaters have made for us. We are doing our best with what we have — and unlike you Modern Women, we are doing it without ‘Big Daddy Government’ propping us up, or ‘Big Bully Government’ looking out for us.

    • mojo

      If you actually bothered to read what the men said in the article, you’d see that they are doing the exact opposite of giving up their dreams. Instead of taking a shitty job only to support a woman, they enjoy life waiting for an opportunity to do better. Instead of shaming them back into serving women, please explain why they shouldn’t?

  • Ben

    Author said, ..”­definition of masculinity that seems pretty bulletproof: Real men stand up for the weak and disempowered.”

    Yes. This concept is entirely Christian and drips of f the page from the Old Testament prophets..

    This is why real men are pro-life. Real men don’t abandon the women they impregnate and abandon their own offspring as well. The father but esp. the mother ends up as the loser there..

  • A

    Indicative of the sexist views in this article:

    “The median age of male marriage keeps getting pushed further back—more than three years (which is an eon to sociologists) since 1980, to 28.2. That leaves young men with a long, long stretch of sowing wild oats—while young women tap their feet impatiently.”

    “Median age of male marriage” is getting pushed back?? Right, because the women marrying those men aren’t getting married later and having more time to sow their oats as well. That passage manages to blame men to the point that it removes women from the marriage equation. Impressive. (Note there’s no way gay marriage would affect this statistic to the tenths digit.)

  • Rebecca

    It’s interesting to see how many comments point out that men don’t merely exist to serve women, or that men are not merely tools for women to use, etc, etc. Have these commentators forgotten that *women* were seen to exist only to serve men for most of human history, and, in fact, still are in many cultures? It doesn’t feel very nice, does it, guys? Women got tired of being seen as incubators, maids, cooks, pleasure machines, inanimate objects with no thoughts or voices. And they *did* something about it. Men, if you’re not happy with what you think women have somehow turned you into (seems like a bit of self-pity and blame displacement to me), then *do* something about it. Don’t just sit in your parents’ houses and play video games.

    • mojo

      Can’t believe I am replying to a 2 year old post…

      Firstly, these so called boys are not in anyway accountable for such historical injustice. All they do is point out the obvious: now liberated, they take offence to continued attempts to shame them into being female-tools while getting nothing in return. Because lets not kid ourselves: men did not want to work in the mines, men did not want to work in the fields, men did not want to work in the industries, men did not want to die or become traumatised in war. We did it because it was expected of us, as you did what was expected of women. Those were the institutionalised scripts we were /all/ forced to internalise.

      Secondly, why do you assume that these men are unhappy? I look at the introducing statement of this article and keep wondering if its a rhetorical question. Video-games and porn – sounds like a good deal to me. Why not? Seriously, what do you mean “do something about it”? It never struck you that they actually are? Do you really think you women are that dear to us? Seriously? Give men a reason to “grow up” and they will. Simply as that. For now, they seem happy not conforming to the historical ideals you wish to impose. Since you think its such luxury, why don’t you women just get a stay-home dad instead of shunning the idea of yet another mouth to feed. After all, it was such a sweet deal for us, wasn’t it? Enjoy.

  • J

    Nice to know how us young, white men are being stereotyped. Unfortunately being stereotyped AND the majority means that we get to be a scapegoat.

    Can’t find a good man? It’s not me. All the men are boys.
    Can’t hire a good man? It’s not our hiring practices. These men aren’t grown up enough.

    I’ll admit the data is there, but this doesn’t mean anyone should write off this entire group anymore than someone should write off a minority.

    It should also be noted that anyone who says “With enough time you can do anything,” is usually successful. Therefore because they can do it, you can too, even though your situations might be completely different and they are not accounting for circumstantial and outside factors in their life that helped them get to where they are. That’s not being negative, it’s being realistic as our individual actions do not always have a direct effect on our success. That being said, no one should stop trying.

  • J

    Nice to know how us young, white men are being stereotyped. Unfortunately being stereotyped AND the majority means that we get to be a scapegoat.

    Can’t find a good man? It’s not me. All the men are boys.
    Can’t hire a good man? It’s not our hiring practices. These men aren’t grown up enough.

    I’ll admit the data is there, but this doesn’t mean anyone should write off this entire group anymore than someone should write off a minority.

    It should also be noted that anyone who says “With enough time you can do anything,” is usually successful. Therefore because they can do it, you can too, even though your situations might be completely different and they are not accounting for circumstantial and outside factors in their life that helped them get to where they are. That’s not being negative, it’s being realistic as our individual actions do not always have a direct effect on our success. That being said, no one should stop trying.

  • dawn

    All these comments from pathetic boys seeking to justify the lifestyle this article discusses seem to miss a major point (which the article does too): there are more than two options in life. It is not a choice between sitting in mommy’s basement and “enslaving” yourself to a woman. If you don’t want to get married and have kids, by all means, don’t. We don’t need the DNA of a bunch of lazy slugs in the gene pool anyway.

    God forbid you should go out and do something worthwhile, just for the benefit of your self-respect and of society at large. So you can’t find a job. Then volunteer. Mentor a child. Join Habitat for Humanity and build houses for the destitute. Go on a relief trip to a country ravaged by natural disaster. Join Americorps. Travel and have adventures. Live your life.

    Self-indulgence will leave you empty, lonely, and unfulfilled. Your parents will not be around forever – who is going to take care of you when they are gone, and have used up your inheritance supporting your worthless carcass?

    When you are at the end of your life, do you really want to remember your adult years as the time you…

  • Denis

    Women insisted that they didn’t need men and now slowly men are starting to realize that we never needed women and that marriage is just a big sham.

    BTW, Professional Engineer, non-video game player and making over 100k$.

    I will never get married in western society because women haven’t grown up yet.

  • Will

    Do people really spend this much time and effort analyzing ‘gender roles’?

    Live and let live. Men and women alike.

  • anonymous

    men are boycotting a corrupt system.

    My ex wife gets to enjoy alimony while living with another man because she is “entititled” to a living standard from a marriage she walked out on.

    You can only screw men over for so long until they quit participating in the game.

    • Steven B

      tell all the young men you know what happened to you and explain to them what laws and social changes have led to this so they know they should not expect their grandparents marriage.

    • sanddust

      Agreed. I am a 44 year old female who for years has been warning both men and women of what you described. I remember well the tee shirts with sayings plastered across them “Anything boys can do girls can do better” and “Princess in training” They were blatant attempts at devaluing the genuine and BEAUTIFUL healthy male/female relationship. It worked! Please don’t give up! There ARE women out there who will be supportive and loyal. Women who allow men their dignity as MEN. But you must do the same for women. BE a man. Accept nothing less than a real woman who understands and embraces her place as one in nature. They do exist. Good luck to you.

      • Omega Man

        A good woman is getting awfully hard to find these days.

  • Andee

    Basically you want the 50’s back? You could just say that you want the 50’s back instead. I moved to Asia and people thought it was weird I moved out of my family to live on my own when I was 18. I thought it was perfectly normal til I moved here and found out its much different here. Regardless of gender they tend to live with families til about 30 (Both genders).

  • Brian

    I simply love the snotty and unfair assertion that those who live with their parents must all be helpless moochers. Plenty of men (AND WOMEN) live with their parents, and this doesn’t mean they don’t work, can’t do anything for themselves, or spend all day smoking weed, watching pornography, trawling for sex, and playing shooter games while Mom makes a sandwich. Many do work — okay, maybe they don’t pull down Sandy Hingston money — and/or are helping a sick parent or grandparent. Everyone has a story, and there are a dozen reasons a person may still live with parents, a dozen reasons that don’t involve being lazy or irresponsible. Shame on anyone who would judge and pigeonhole without knowing a person’s story.

    I’m trying to imagine PHILADELPHIA MAGAZINE publishing an article full of young men policing the actions of women. It’s inspiring to see that the women criticizing men are obviously without flaw.

  • ralf

    Big cars, cigars, girls, drugs, everything is forbidden these days, so why bother?

  • Andre

    Men and women have behaviour patterns set by hundreds of thousands of years of development. I support the empowerment of women, the fact remains that the vast amount of women will try to find a mate they can “look up to”, which usually means men have to be more successful materially or in the best of cases as successful as women.

    Europe has done extensive research on disparities between modern women and men, the fertility levels in some countries are a result on very similar drivers described in this article. With ever more women gaining higher qualifications, succeeding in paid jobs or in their own business, academia and whatever; they simply run out of the equivalent number of men to mate

  • Mike

    You didn’t talk about the role today’s young women play in this disturbing trend. Have you thought about the possibility that one of the reasons men act like this is that women are so free with their sexual favors these days that it hardly matters they behave?

  • David

    What I find the most incredulous about this article is how it starts off with the fact that over half of the 25-44 generation are living below the poverty line, only to extrapolate from that that somehow this generation is “uniquely” lazy and unambitious compared to any other generations prior. Nah, couldn’t have anything to do with the shitty economy disproportionately impacting this generation, could it? Those ‘lazy men’ must’ve made the economy tank. Must’ve done it because of ‘porn’ and ‘video games’, those old scapegoats, because it’s hardly as if porn or other diversions didn’t exist before the 21st century, right? What a ridiculous article.

  • Becky

    Women have been subjugated for at least as long recorded history. Now it’s finally our turn. Men can’t take it, so I’m supposed to be feel bad for them? Tough, now you know how it feels.

  • Larry

    This article is a load of crap, women now a day r not looking for someone to build with, they just want a sucker to mistreat n take advantage of, the nice guys. So now we hip to it n are no longer interested to be some woman punching bag.

  • Harold

    Shame on Phillymag for printing such drivel; you would never dare produce an equally insulting piece about women.

    Sandy Higgston – you a sexist bigot and a disgrace to journalists everywhere.

  • marie

    I am a proud feminist, but even I was offended by this article. It was far too simplistic, and generalized about men WAY too much.

  • grkBoy

    I think the biggest problems is we’re still adhering to standards of the 1950s and 1960s, despite the advancements of females.

    Women did want to go to school, have careers, have that corner office, have that executive position. Unfortunately, they also want to be Mrs. Someone and have some kids. They run into the issue at times of inner conflicts when they want to be the happy homemaking mom, but also the CEO, and even then have issue on a gender role reversal. They one moment want the husband to chip in, but the next moment they get angry because he’s not living up to her standard or her thinking in parental matters.

    How about she works and he stays at home? It sounds wonderful, but women then need to “get over it” when they feel embarrassed that their husbands aren’t making more money than them like daddy did with mommy. The “marry up” mentality has to go.

    I also think the examples shown in this article are not ideal. These guys graduated colleges and in my book are trying to make something happen. They just have the advantage of being able to have a fallback. They want those elusive careers that Corporate America makes it so hard to get, and they don’t want to wait tables or wash dishes to get into an office. I know where they came from because I was that…and my own boomeranging with goals led me now to being the successful hardworking sought-after professional.

    The REAL examples that need to be shown are the 28-40 year old men who SKIPPED or DROPPED OUT of college, live at home, work a crappy part-time job, and spend their time playing video games and whacking off to porn. The ones with no goals or ambitions, and they only “do something” when their parents give them enough flack. Even then, the little they do is merely show to “shut my parents up”.

    Those are the lost ones. That’s the real problem. The overgrown children who have no goals or ambitions, and they just want to float one day into the next, not even wondering what happens when mom and dad die and now no one’s there to take care of them.

    One last thing…those ‘good men’ talked of do exist. They’re are plenty of them…but too many women reject them because those men never fit into the fantasy mold of their ideal mate. Thus you see female blogs and message boards lament on “why are all the hot guys losers, the good guys ugly, and the good hot guys gay?”

    • van

      “….How about she works and he stays at home? It sounds wonderful, but women then need to “get over it” when they feel embarrassed that their husbands aren’t making more money than them like daddy did with mommy. The “marry up” mentality has to go…”

      The “marry up” mentality is in all probability genetic, and isn’t ever going away.

      Thus the dillemma of the modern career woman: She took the job of the guy she wanted to marry, and then rejected him because he didn’t have a job.

      I have no sympathy. Women did it to themselves.

      • Luke

        Not to mention, when a couple with kids does the “mom works, dad stays at home with the kids”, she routinely first cuts him off sexually, then cheats on him, then divorces him, taking the kids against his will (and he gets assigned child support to be paid by the job he no longer has). Screw being a married SAH father, with that outcome.

  • TA

    Just out of curiosity, why is the majority of the “good men” being studied in the national study mostly white and heterosexual men at large, mostly white universities?

  • Alec Leamas

    Funny. Spend 40 plus years deriding Ward Cleaver, and then wonder why no one aspires to be Ward Cleaver.

    Boys become men when boys want to become men. Boys want to become men when there is some benefit to becoming a man.

    In most human affairs, authority runs with responsibility. A cultural insurgency has stripped men of any authority they formerly had in the domestic sphere, and left them only with the responsibilities. Is it any wonder that so few would want to take on only endless, open-ended responsibilities?

  • LeslieSole

    Dump them. All of them. Then, move on to better men. Ladies, they will only drag you down. You don’t have to compromise yourself for some cheeto-dusted otaku who thinks life should be like a harem anime: Where gaggles of pretty, submissive ladies all swoon after the main character who is a lazy, useless oaf.

    We need to stop coddling them and trying to gently coax them into being less crappy.

    This isn’t unfixable, even if it feels that way.

  • geoff

    Men arn’t the problem.

  • http://www.soccersupremacy.com Brittanie Schmidt

    I have gone ahead and also bookmarked http://www.phillymag.com/articles/the-sorry-lives-and-confusing-times-of-today-s-young-men/ in Digg.com so my buddies can easily see it as well. I just used The Sorry Lives and Confusing Times of Today’s Young Men | Philadelphia Magazine Articles as the entry subject in my Digg.com save, when i figured in case it is good enough for you to name your blog post that, then you would love to find it bookmarked the same way.

  • anon

    what happened to the other 251 comments?

  • Joan

    great story send to e-mail address

  • Adam in chains

    What women don’t seem to understand is that they have changed the rules. Marriage used to provide us men with a faithfull mate, someone to bring up your kids, look after your house and be attentive to your needs. In exchange we committed and went out and worked to pay for it all. Now we get none of that. At best “commitment” means living with a permanently stressed out woman who puts you at the bottom of the pile, after career, kids, socialising and shopping, who outsources the care of your children and can’t boil an egg. At worst, encouraged by the courts and a sense of dissatisfaction and entitlement, she will disppear with another man and your children, and financially cripple you for life! and this brings on my mind some words of advice:

    THE 4 BIBLE PASSAGES:

    1 John 2:18-19 “Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have arisen; from this we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, in order that it might be shown that they all are not of us.”

    1 John 2:22-23 “Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies THE FATHER AND THE SON(*). Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also.”

    1 John 4:2-3 “By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; and this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world.”

    2 John 1:7 “For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist.”

    From the Bible we can clearly see 3 things. First, the “antichrist” is defined as anyone who doesn’t believe Jesus is the divine son of God. Second, “antichrists” appear to actively teach against Christ. Third, there were many “antichrists” in the world when John wrote the book. This directly contradicts the teaching of modern speculationists who say that one antichrist will arise at some still future time.

    The Greek word from which our English word “antichrist” is translated is very simple to understand. It is a simple compound word and means “anti” + “Christ” = “antichrist”. We use the same compound word every day. We have people who are “anti-smoking” or “anti-gay” or “anti-hunting” or “anti-Semitic” or “anti-abortion”. There really is no big mystery as to what the word means. “Anti-Christ” is anyone who opposes Christ.

    Take this test to see if you are an “antichrist”: 1. Do you actively teach or simply believe that Jesus Christ never walked the earth, but was a mythological figure? 2. Do you actively teach or simply believe there was a man named Jesus Christ, but he did not actually raise from the dead? 3. Do you actively speak out against or simply believe Christianity is a false religion? 4. Jesus said, “He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters” Matthew 12:30. Are you an atheist or agnostic who is indifferent and non-religious? Then you too are an “antichrist”! The Bible term “antichrist” could be simply understood to be equivalent to being a “non-believer.”

    The “antichrist” then, has no horns or red glowing eyes. Neither is the “antichrist” some demon possessed super-intelligent human clone. Rather, the “antichrist” are generally.. the women!

    Basically, in the bible there’s a warning to keep women in the right conditions so they cannot harm themselves and men, or everythings will be doomed and the world as (they) we knows will end.

    Today, women gained power (the dragon myth is realted to power), wreak families, childs and destroy the male figure in our societies, If a major religion is praying to a female deity, would it not make sense that the opposite of Christ would be totally inverse? the women? i think so..

    Ancient warn us about women but seems that we don’t really care, even if they are doing exactly what they once told us..

    That’s why men must remember and be, once again, MEN! since the antichrists, the antimen, the women, will ruin men’s life.. check the world around you.. where only a bunch of smart men who use women rules over all.. they earn lot of money just to deceive men using women to drives men life’s crazy and waste their life.

    • WebsnWigs

      This is so true, I’m glad you posted this. Also, the Hindu religion has similar ideas as those expressed here. I wouldn’t be surprised if other belif systems felt the same way

    • Michael

      check this out regarding your antichrist stuff: http://www.thewarningsecondcoming.com/

  • phillip

    interesting article

  • olu bakare

    wow

  • ming on mongo

    Actually its the same problem with both genders, which is the increasing Narcissism in our culture (aka, its all about ME!). So its simply expressed differently for each gender. Women arent looking for a relationship now, anymore than young men are… and theyre all just looking for whatever serves their particular needs.
    How many single women do you see with a dog now, who will also tell you, “but hes my bestest friend!!”
    Of course it doesnt hurt that he cant complain either… ;-p

  • Yan

    Long article. I waited in vain for it to get to the point.

    If every game in town is a “wimmin’s game” with the odds always fixed artificially in their favour, why would men want to play? There’s no incentive.

    Men that live with their parents and play video games are considered immature. Because maturity is defined by women in terms of their willingness to serve women.

    It’s not rocket science.

    • Steven B

      bingo, It is not my duty to slave away for someone. Should I choose to do it, that is one thing but honestly I see no reason to. Women have flings with higher value men all throughout college and their earlier 20s and then when they go looking for relationships right as they start to age and loose their looks they can only get their equal and when you have been test driving BMWs your whole youth, you don’t appreciate the Toyota that you can afford and frankly the men that were ignored have no interest in paying full price for a very used car that others got to lease for free when the car was new and had less millage. If your so equal then “man up” and get a better paying job if you want kids and a family. It may have taken men 50 years to respond to feminism but you can bet your diamond ring that we have caught on and you are about to see our response and it isn’t going to end anytime in your lifetime.

  • Rock71

    Young men watched their mothers divorce their fathers and saw them pay their mothers for the privilege. In today’s anti-male environment it doesn’t pay to get married and become a father. Back in the day,we had a social contract. If a man worked hard to provide for the family, he was rewarded with their emotional support. Now,if he marries and divorces,he will have to pay alimony and child support. In other words, he has the responsibility of providing without the reward of their emotional support. If women were struggling we would be seriously looking at what was discouraging them. When men are reluctant to grow up we say “why won’t these guys grow up”! It isn’t s serious asking. It is more” what’s their problem”! Young men like me who grew up during the girl power years have been made to feel like “less thans” simply because of our gender.
    Nearly everyone,including the author of this article aren’t truly concerned about young men. They are more concerned with shaming them,then truly finding out why so many of them are hurting.Young men in their twenties commit suicide at six times the rate of women in their twenties,but the only concern is: damn it,men! Get over it so young women will have someone to marry!

    • ryan

      i’m a guy in his early 20s and i say screw having a serious relationship i’v seen how my mother and sisters have treated my father i know he might not have been the best dad but last 10 years all it’s been is degrade.degrade.degrade f that i’d rather place my shotgun up to my head and blow my brain out with a three inch magnum

  • Rock71

    I think the author was trying to find out what us making young men hurt and struggle.A lot of what was suggested was pure nonsense IMO, but young men have been marginalized and put down in our almost pathological male bashing culture.

  • Will

    Congratulations America. You neglected or abused one generation of male children after another and now you get to reap the consequences of what you’ve sown.

  • INTJ

    Ridiculous.

  • Kris W

    Look at all the anti male sexism and bigotry, let alone sheer chavunism us young guy’s have to go through. But that would require empathizing with us, something that my 27 odd years on this planet has shown me that the supposedly “fairer” sex is totally incapable of it.

    It is like an employer that only pays 20 cents an hour, with a 50% onsite mortality rate among workers, complaining about a shortage of qualified applicants when no one even wants to fill out an application in the first place.

    Ignore our tears, ignore our pain, ignore the sheer level of bigotry and discrimination we have to endure. Keep throwing stones at us, it will only help wake up even more young men to how evil and male hating Western Civilization is.

  • http://TheUrbanNerd.com The Urban Nerd

    I think the statistics are different based on men in different cultures. If you take Asian and South Asian men who are programmed to achieve success at an earlier age – this article would not apply to them. Also, I believe your statements are more biased towards men from the ages of 18-23. Yes, you will find some men older than 23 that your statements can apply to, but the stats are skewed towards 23 and younger.

  • http://james.com James

    hello

  • devilokk

    Thanks for the Ryans update. Im sure it’s tough for a guy that has to be the D’s QB to come right in and look like a superstar…can’t wait to see him in preseason.

  • devilokk

    Thanks for the Ryans update. Im sure it’s tough for a guy that has to be the D’s QB to come right in and look like a superstar…can’t wait to see him in preseason.

  • JJeaglerooter

    Glad for the update on Mathews , I hope he picks up what he needs to help solidify the middle if he is ever called upon. Last year was a total dissapointment , whatever the excuses were.Failure is not an option this year , or ever .

  • JJeaglerooter

    Glad for the update on Mathews , I hope he picks up what he needs to help solidify the middle if he is ever called upon. Last year was a total dissapointment , whatever the excuses were.Failure is not an option this year , or ever .

  • Good Lookin ouT

    IN my opinion, it’s not that Ryan is playing bad, it’s that everybody else has raised their level of play, including Casey and Cheney. Ryan plays with the first unit D, the D Line swallows up everything before he gets close. And the Eagles Offensive Line is pretty impressive also. Ryans should do much better after playing in some preseason games. It’s just everybody’s level of play is maybe something we haven’t seen in a while. These kids are getting after it in Camp, from the undrafted Free Agents to the most seasoned veteran there.

  • Good Lookin ouT

    IN my opinion, it’s not that Ryan is playing bad, it’s that everybody else has raised their level of play, including Casey and Cheney. Ryan plays with the first unit D, the D Line swallows up everything before he gets close. And the Eagles Offensive Line is pretty impressive also. Ryans should do much better after playing in some preseason games. It’s just everybody’s level of play is maybe something we haven’t seen in a while. These kids are getting after it in Camp, from the undrafted Free Agents to the most seasoned veteran there.

  • http://premedicalstudent.com Kashif Vikaas

    This is kind of a depressing article

  • Sondra

    The lack of knowledge of oneself is a really terrible thing. This is what is what is wrong with the black youth of today! There is a lot of fantastic talent out there but it is not being channeled in the right direction. When they learn their OWN HISTORY they will want to make marked improvements in their lives. That’s where they need to start…they can’t wait for others to teach them the truth about our GLORIOUS HISTORY.

  • Ghost

    Can I read this thing?

  • TomM

    “They’re good girls”

    I just laughed my ass off. Sure they are. That’s why the “nerds” are ostracized for wanting to do well and the bad boys who do drugs, sleep around and think way too little about their future get it all easy from these supposed ‘good girls’ right?

    Typical female entitlement complex. You are owed love, commitment and respect apparently (newsflash: nobody owes you anything beyond basic respect), good men should stay single and wait around ready for marriage while you sleep around with every ‘hot’ guy in town and if men don’t give you the marriage and commitment you feel you are entitled when you feel you are entitled to receive it, your knee-jerk reaction is to blame men as a whole for not giving you what you feel you deserve to receive.

    In all this, there is not a shred about the diminishment of your femininity, character, humbleness or morality and you do not even fathom how expectations might be placed upon you prior to someone settling down with you. This is reflected in an endless array of double standards (to the disadvantage of men, generally) such as “it’s not cheating if you just pash, as long as it’s the girl, not the guy, doing it” (just breathtakingly stupid that one, yet quite common).
    Sorry ladies, but while you are the gatekeepers of sex, and ruthless ones at that, forcing all but the most attractive men to jump through hoops to even get a look in, it is men who are the guardians of commitment, and in that regard, it is YOUR ASS that will have to jump through some hoops.
    If you don’t like it, work on yourself and pick a better guy to settle down with, earlier.

  • keebs

    Ok so as a female, I disagree with this article. There are some men who i dated who had all the opportunity in the world to do something with their lives and didn’t. I also dated one who had a mom who refused to let her son grow up. We also have the men who just can’t seem to get a an opportunity to do anything. All I am saying is yes women fought to be treated equal, but just because we did doesn’t mean that we control how every man lives their life. I happen to have found a young man who is younger than me and is very responsible even though he plays video games. I believe all men are not the same. I stayed at home for a while with my parents because many jobs didn’t pay me enough for me to live on my own.

  • John

    I was ranked number 1 in my college science major, I have wealthy parents, 140IQ, 6’4″ tall, athletic when younger and was offered college scholarship to play ice-hockey, popular, fit, funny, homeowner with no mortgage thanks to parents, socially aware and successfully with women and NO AMOUNT OF “MAN UP” SHAMING WILL EVER GET ME TO MARRY ONE OF YOU USED UP WOMEN THAT VOTE FOR CORRUPT SEXIST DIVORCE LAWS. I have not paid for a date in years and make women pay for my half if they want me to go to a more expensive place then I would normally go ($6.85 Chipotle). I have never bought a woman a gift since high school and received at least 50k in gifts so far at age 28, many of which were bought on girls credit cards. I have seen what you ladies do to some of my friends so I have no hard feelings about using you which is really easy to do because its pretty simple to “trick” a woman into thinking your trust fund is coming sooner then it really is. I love using women’s youth up because they showed collectively they have no problem stealing kids and enslaving my friends in divorce. As the place I took my gf on Valentines day and told her she could get anything she wanted as long as it was on the dollar menu, says, “I’m Lovin it”

  • John

    Boys keep it up, WE ARE SUCCEEDING B/C SHE WOULD NOT HAVE WROTE THIS ARTICLE IF SHE WAS NOT FEELING THE BACKFIRE. We are going to take down this man hating country by bankrupting it. “Independent” women need your tax dollars via the state to subsidize their lifestyle that a cushy social work job could never afford without forced redistribution of wealth. Greece can be our role model, how many women are getting their shit paid for there now that the economy crashed and government bankrupt. Girls are out on the street selling themselves for a few bucks which is more honest then stealing your 401k, kids, house, and future earnings. Their cushy service jobs will be gone with the wind if the country implodes while male dominated manufacturing will be back in full swing.

  • sexist pig

    Did any of you hear about the Costa Concordia Cruise ship crash incident? While the boat was sinking and being evacuated, a woman with a Gloria Steinem feminist T shirt was yelling and hitting a man for trying to get a life jacket out of the bin and into a raft while she was screaming women and children first. Women were furious men were not letting them go first. This is great progress as 100 years earlier when the Titanic sank the men were cowards and let the women go first. Screw that sexist policy. Wait your turn bitch.

    • Luke

      Hm. Good catch finding that news item, SP.
      The guy you mentioned should have just pitched that shrieking broad with the entitlement syndrome over the side, no life jacket. The choice for Western women was “Votes or Boats”. They picked votes; let them enjoy the results of their decisions whenever it hits the fan.

      Apt picture: http://tinyurl.com/lt7l398

      • Antonius

        Hilarious! Made my day. Thanks :D

  • Mir

    The article spoke of a sociologist who said that gender identity is developed oppositionally. That makes sense in some aspects. Guys are seen as rough and rugged and strong while girls are seen as pretty and more easily injured. Fine fine, that is at least based on some recognition of biology. But this notion that if girls are bright and successful and hard working then men should be the opposite makes absolutely no sense. Juxtaposing that idea makes no sense as well, that men should be hard working and successful and women should be the opposite. With this kind of duality half of the population is always going to be marginalized. It’s illogical.

  • gcullison

    I’m an old man. I’ve been relatively successful. But if me and my friends did today what we did 40 years ago, we’d spend most of our time in jail. So, congratulations. You’ve trained generations of boys to be completely passive and safe. Now you don’t like what you’ve got. Too bad.

  • Hilarious

    Hilarious article – when the leaders are not real men, watch the public follow suit. The alphas of our country get fat and our rich doing nothing hurting others, and yet the everyday joe is getting lombasted for playing vidyas. Hah!

  • matta

    Dr egbenakhue am so grateful, through the powerful money spell i purchased from you
    last week i was able to apply for a loan from the bank for both to start my own
    business and also to buy my family a house, i cant imagine yesterday i received a
    call from the bank notifying me that my loan on R4.2million was approved, i don’t
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  • The Phoenix

    Gentlemen, some of you who have commented are onto something and others I feel your pain…I say this out of pity instead of comfort. Life isn’t fair.

    Read Think and Grow RIch, Man’s Search For Meaning and read Matthew or the Tao Te Ching. You create the world you live in, and you are allowing a propagandist influence your world. GO LIVE LIFE! TRAVEL! BANG ALL THE GIRLS you want! Ski! Dance! CRY out the feelings you felt growing up….but remember this, life is an internal struggle for you, and only YOU, define what success is.

    As for this article, fuck this article. FUCK GENDER POLITICS. All it does is create division and keeps men and women single and LONELY. STOP. Do the work, understand your woman. Actually, FACE YOUR FEAR and go after the woman of your dreams…don’t settle because you didn’t believe you could get her.

    Face fear of rejection. Face fear of your own limiting beliefs that you don’t have what you have because of this or that or whatever. That’s BULLSHIT. Don’t be a bitch. Be a man, meaning….create your dream, create your life, and go do. Be willing to fail but never, never, NEVER giving in.

    This will always be a man’s world. Acknowledge this

  • Kaitlin Powell

    Ive read the comments and learned a trememdous amount. The article was horrible, but the comments were revealing. I went on a “womens” site for their families and I see all the complaining about men in their relationships – 20 compliants per compliment. If you write about mysogynistic husbands (even though every point made in the article could be applied to women also), you will get hundreds of comments about the horrors of men.

    Same site: womens health topics – get numerous comments, sharing of ideas and discussion and roots for political activism to change or go for changes in the research, funding or government.

    Same site: childrens health topics – get numerous comments, sharing of ideas and discussion and roots for political activism to change or go for changes in the research, funding or government.
    Same site: mens health topics – crickets (articles regarding depression, value, masculainity, etc.) – ZERO COMMENTS
    Same site: mens health related to prostate cancer – many many comments – the womens utility (er. husband) is nearing death (not prevention in the comments or sharing of ideas, or political activism), only concern for each others finances and feelings regarding the death of their Utility (man). No comments regarding the feelings or concern for the man that is dying. I admit I was deeply saddened.
    Women need to reflect on how they view men.

    • Viktor Arvidsson

      Thank you, Kaitlin. You stand out in this thread and that is not only due to the bright red color in which your name is written. Be wary, though: While being a woman will cut you some slack, chances are high that you will be soon find yourself chided, censured and castigated for speaking up on behalf of us men. But remember: you are needed and we are forever indebted to you, your words matter; sadly, even I, a feminist scholar, am regularly denied voice in matters of men. Again, thank you. It is time that we start working together.

      • Kaitlin Powell

        Thank you Viktor – this is new terrain for me – but I can see it almost everyday. Too many times diversity means different people expousing the same views. Gender equality is not binary and I firmly believe men and women are different (Im a NICU Nurse so i deal with newborns and even in the first days – you can see a difference in male and female interactions). Trinity Univiersity (Dr. Cohen) has been doing some groundbreaking work on this and I hope that this will help to reframe the Nordic views on gender.
        Gender entropy would result in sexual entropy (something i dont want to see). I’d like to read any of your writings – so if you point me in that same direction i would appreciate it. As for being censured and castigated – I have been putting my toes in the water of male/female debates, and with the slightest recoginition that men do not have it “made” in society, I am profusely thanked by all intended.

        This is it – I adore men – i always will – i believe that much of the paitriarcy is really mis-characterized class warfare with the elites male and female being elite and lower classes (male and female) toiling. I dont see men as opressors, in fact – we are discussing this today, and openly – because men had the opportunity to open things up for women – which they did.

        • https://twitter.com/anotherday____ Viktor Arvidsson

          (The response became longer than anticipated. I guess I am just taken by having a sensible conversation online.)

          For whatever reason, we are undeniably different and difference is undoubtedly to be cherished: what a bore if everyone was alike – and also, what danger! This is of course not to say that we should constrain ourselves to dated, binary roles, but at the same time we should certainly not throw away one set of roles just to impose another. Reasonably, each and every individual should be free to realise their own visions and dreams as they see fit. For as the poem goes: “flowering branches grow naturally; some long, some short” – and there is sufficient beauty in that. But as manifested through the gender equality paradox, or rather, the associated shaming of people who opt for a life within traditional bounds, we are clearly not there yet. For some reasons, only some flowers should be allowed to blossom – and this is sad.

          That said, I can at least please you by saying that feminist research is now realising the limitation of social explanations – perhaps particularly so within the nordic context. But as is the case with feminist research at large, advances made within academia rarely make its way into the plagued debate. Its sad, really, that a movement which ultimately seeks to liberate all instead continues to fuel so much hate; in the end, we are all constrained and it would be much easier if we together figured out how to free ourselves of our societal shackles and worked toward a common end. But as you have surely seen yourself, there is little interest at all to actually discuss these matters in a serious way. Instead, people just tear each other apart as to “win” – or rather, reify their believes – a pattern reinforced by back-patting creating increasingly insular, polarised communities – making us all losers, in the end.

          As for patriarchy, I am inclined to agree. Again, this is a matter of popular debate not keeping up with academia. While one could argue that society at large, particularly so at a global scale, is patriarchal, such societal phenomena can hardly be reduced back to particular individuals, and certainly not white men: society is something we all produce, women too; while everyone is not equally able to produce change – we all reap what we all sow in the end. I would also agree with you that lack of marxist (class) analysis* is a problem, itself made possible as the feminist agenda is predominantly defined by middle/upperclass women who for some reason pretend not to be privileged**. One does, indeed, not need to look far to see that men, while certainly holding key positions of power, clearly also dominate the bottom regions of society – and few feminists seem to care about their suffering; in fact, if they even try to speak out, proclaimed feminists reduce them into racist, misogynists and ridicule them into submission – no wonder their frustration and anger.

          Anyway, should you want to discuss this further or want to learn more, I am happy to assist; however, I am not sure I have any writing of my own that would interest you – I am foremost a student of technology, and in particular, how technology is literally part of ones /self/ – but I would happily help you find whatever it might be that you are looking for.

          Do you have Twitter? If so I guess you can find me through my discuss profile. Having been publicly shamed more than once for my opinion, I’d rather take the conversation somewhere more anonymous than this. If not, provide a means of contact and we’ll take it from there.

          Cheers,

          V.

          * While marxist thought and feminism were tightly coupled for quite some time, feminist thinking increasingly abandoned the class analysis during the later part of the last century.
          ** This is, by the way, another line of critique within feminist research.

  • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

    What’s with all this women hate?
    I grew up in a single parent household. I always wanted a dad. it didn’t have to be my dad, any dad would have been ok. I’m 25, and I still don’t know what my mom “did” to cause my dad to cheat on her. I was 6, and I just don’t recall much. I’m always afraid that I’m going to do that thing she did, and my BF is going to leave me.

    Right now, there’s alot of little things I don’t understand about the male/ female exchange, that I think I would better understand if I had seen my parents together. I live with my BF, and day to day, it feels like I’m feeling around in the dark, trying to figure out what is normal, and ok. Like, what should I be wearing? should I have make up on when he’s home? It takes like, 30 min at night to get that stuff off, and you can not go to bed without taking it off. That means, if we fall asleep together, I have to get back up, and go wash all this stuff off before I can go to bed. What about sweat pants? I mean, it gets friggin cold here, and they say that you should bundle up a bit during the winter, rather than keeping the heat all the way up. But warm, bulky stuff, is frowned upon, isn’t it?

    How often do I really need to be cooking? When it was just me and my mom, sometimes we would just phone it in, and grab whatever. I recall sitting down to dinner with my parents, and I remember that being a nice thing, but was it every night? I don’t remember. How often is frozen pizza ok? Who needs to wash the dishes? A nice meal takes time, and lots of utenciles, and I really hate washing dishes, because my mom would wake me up if they weren’t done properly, and I hated that. I don’t remember who cooked. I know my dad is a pretty good cook, and makes really good cookies, but that’s about all I can recall of that.

    There’s a HUGE list of shit like this, that goes on and on and on. Little, stupid, every day things. When I lived on my own, without my bf, I could just toss my whatever wherever. I did everything on my own, because it’s not like I was expecting anyone else to. I’d go around the corner and grab take out if I didn’t feel like cooking.

    No fucking idea what I’m doing here. Oh, and god forbid we have kids. Those little guys are pretty much on their own.

    What’s a normal amount of sex? Why am I the only one who ever brings up having sex? TV told me that men always want sex, not women.

    I grew up jamming to Spice Girls. I was taught that it’s great for me to go after what I want in life, like a career and family. Now there’s a bunch of guys here saying that I’m horrible, for reasons.

    What exactly is the answer here?

  • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

    I think it’s important for men to find women that are at similar places career wise as them.
    When partners make the same amount, there’s alot less of the problems seen in the past, and being seen now. No one needs to “support” anyone. That creates an imbalance, and a feeling entrapment for at least one partner. That leads to bitterness.

    The more money a couple is making, the better the relationship. This is a statistic that has endured, over time, even with trends in divorce changing. When you can afford things like child care, and house keeping, you don’t have to argue with your partner about who should take care of them. No one feels degraded, there’s more time to enjoy time with your partner, and take care of yourself, so that you maintain your attractiveness and health, two defining points of libido.

    So,the solution; make money, but only marry someone making as much money as you. Problem solved.

  • amina

    It has been some weeks now since the Dr Eziza bring back my husband back. Our reunion happened ‘suddenly.’ There is no secret what Dr Eziza can do! I thank you again for the the spell that were cast for us as well to bring back my lover.email him via:ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289

  • UnixDesigner78

    Things were better in the 50s and 60s, and more and more people are waking up to that fact. Women major in bullshit humanities anyway, and you cannot get a good job with an English degree nowadays, so the best universities would see that 65 men are admitted for every 35 women. Since women would only be going for “Mrs. Degrees” (and let’s be honest, that’s all they do now for the most part) we would go back to real college curriculums, not “woman’s studies” or easy, lame humanities classes. Men would have a reason to be men, strong, smart, intellectual types, which increases our libidos and testosterone. Our sperm counts would go back to normal.

    Then, instead of fertility treatments and this worshipping of weird, unnatural alternative lifestyles, everyone would return to normal sex. We would no longer have to worry about declining birthrates among middle-class people from good backgrounds. The men would work, as we are DESIGNED to do, and we would be respected for bringing home the paychecks instead of kowtowing to shrieking harpies who keep our balls in a jar and tell us how to dress and act. And women could all stay at home taking care of babies. Women are designed by evolution to make and take care of children, and once you give a career gal a baby of her own, even the most adamantly childfree become mothers as they were designed to do. We would no longer need the harmful Pill fouling up our drinking water and lowering male sperm counts even further, and we could close the abortion clinics that throw millions of precious children into dumpsters each year.

    Instead, we have our modern, gynocentric trash culture, where these “independent” bitches get these joke paper-pusher jobs like “HR” and “personnel specialist” (which MANY got because of affirmative action, not any special skill), sleep around until they’re all used up, kill their babies, and no longer need a strong male provider. Then, they hit their late 20s, lose their looks, and realize they all want babies, but they have destroyed their fertility through birth control and abortions, and we will no longer need them because we’re earning enough money that we can get whatever women we want (yes, that includes 18-year-olds who have Playboy bodies and tight virgin pussies, sorry ladies!).

    These “woman hear me roar” bimbos think they have it good but reality hits hard and early, and the female is simply not built to be a provider, nor does she have the brainpower. She will sit alone with her cats, barren and sad, while we do whatever we want. And trust me, we ARE doing exactly what we want, while you fuck us for free and expect commitment we will never give to you. Want to know why? You’re not worth it. Not even for FREE. Why buy a used bicycle when I can buy a new Porsche?

    Too bad you lose in the end, ladies, or should I say, LOSERS!

  • Charlie Heal

    I find the mothers babied there sons so much that no woman can ever fill there moms boots stop babying them ! your ruining them for real women

  • Spitfire60

    Guys Guys, I’m 62 y/o/female/single listen. Yes today’s economy is making a toll on everyone, including me..I want all of you to go to Netflix or YouTube and watch documentaries by Robert Reich who was our economic adviser for our nation till 2013/he quit/our nation would not listen to him..one factor that did not surprise me..but shocked me at the same time is that a man/woman in the 70’s was making twice the money average 40,000 in a job as he is in the same job today (20,000)!! Costs of everything has gone up, except our income..even with two incomes families are still struggling today.there are families in the films I suggested.A college education was free/now it’s 20,000 a year.U.S companies all invested in their people who worked for them, now it’s going overseas.economically our country has put us in the position where we have to depend on the minority to eat/sleep/and exist. The govt has made non-productive robots out of our society. I’m not ashamed to say that I was on public aid for 6 years, but I used it as a help in 80’s, not a lifestyle.I went to college, went to work in a better job and got out of the Govt. system, but my father at the time told me that he could have supported me thru this with the same money the govt took out of his check and this was in the 80’s. We are 35 yrs later. Reich also states that 40% are born in poverty and they will stay there.. I say we have to do something, become entrepreneurs in our own right or something.

    Watch the documentaries..Then there are us women, and some men, no matter the race..back in the day, women went from “parents home” to married “husbands home”..she got pregnant,managed the home, etc. For most if you listen to their stories, we also got “raped” by fathers, grandfathers, brothers, the neighbor, (and god forbid if you told anyone) you were beaten even more, even mama couldn’t protect you because it happened to her, it was the “right” of the man who “took care of you”, beat up, told we were no good, etc in order to have the “privilege of “being taken care of”!..Not every woman, but most of us. No boys, it didn’t just happen in the movies, this was life before “women” found out they could “take care” of themselves without the men beating them up every day. We came to that realization when we had to go to work in the factories during the war..we could earn our own monies and take care of ourselves w/out the humility.So that was the turning point/not the vote/making our own money and not getting raped or beaten up for it..Most of us also divorced for the same reasons..

    Now we come to today, I have a male “man” child who has been sharing a home with me for 2.5 years. He wanted to go to college, instead he started his own company and is doing quite well/I have my own company too, I struggle at time/he helps me financially/and physically at times, shoveling the snow, carrying something heavy, etc, people even though you live at home, think about what you can to make Mom/Dads life easier while you’re there, do some household chores, cook, garden, something, get off the net and exercise your brain and think about. While I’m still healthy/I need help/had it not been for him/I might have lost my home, or not eat!!. He pulls his weight and then some.It’s not a sacrilege that a young man or woman lives with their Mom or Parents..it’s when we as sons/daughters don’t do anything to make our lives count or do anything to make our parents lives better.

    There are many parents my age, that are sick, children have moved home to take care of their parents..and not just the girls..I know because I take care of those parents my age too.I’m blessed w good health.

    As boomers more and more are retiring/or sick/all of you sitting at home should consider becoming a Home Helper to earn your money and help out with Mom/Dad/Brother/or sister/Aunt/Grandparent..or the neighbor, most of the time the state will pay you for taking care of them.Just a suggestion for those who moved home to take care of Relatives.Now get off your butt/do something positive that contributes to someone else’s life/it will improve yours!!

  • spitfire60

    I’m not saying all men were/are like that, but my view still supports it

  • Rose Marylove

    My name is Victoria Terry, i live in UK. I want to testify of a great spell caster who restored back my marriage. After 2 years of broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Ramah whom i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job that he is amazing, i also came across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Sonia, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 3 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email. After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. After 4 days my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever before. Dr.Ramah is a gifted man and i will not stop testifying about him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (DR.RAMAHSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) for a great help.

  • Ryan casey

    Thanks Dr.kizzekpe for your kind help, You have done what other spell casters could not do for me i am so very happy for my lost joy which you have just recovered for me within 48 hours after you casted the spell on my ex whom i thought would never come back to me. I am so grateful to you for you are really powerful and genuine and i will always continue to share this testimony on the internet till the whole world know about you.Here is his email if you are also in need of his help kizzekpespells@outlook.com

  • Some guy

    I’m a 30 year old man who lives with his parents.
    My mom makes more than enough money herself to support all three of us.
    Basically I play video games with my dad all day and get drunk with him at night.
    And mom loves us for it. She’s a very dominant woman and so she gets to feel dominant by being the breadwinner and being “in charge” of “her boys,” and my dad and I live carefree lives doing what we WANT, when we want. Everyone’s a winner.

  • MGTOW

    Just leave the women behind and go your own way. Our entire society is telling you to move out of the way from girls. Do it!

    If you can’t completely do away with women: Refuse long term relationships. There are very few benefits to long term relationships for men. Just stay casual and move on when needed.

  • carrie steve

    i want to give thanks to the great doctor kizzekpe who help me in getting back my ex-boyfriend i saw a testimony post by miss rose from Spain about how the great doctor kizzekpe had helped her, i decide to email him and to my greatest surprise my ex-boyfriend came back to me after 68hours days of contacting him.i simply want to say thanks for what he had done for me and am so happy may he live long. if you have any problem just email him :kizzekpespells@outlook.com and you will not regret contacting him…CARRIE STEVE

  • Jennifer Peterson

    Am so grateful to this great man DR.Eziza who has brought back happiness to my life,At first i taught he was NOT real,Because i saw a testimony ON THIS SITE about him how he helped someone in bringing back her ex within 48hours so i decided to give him a chance in bringing back my lover back to me who left me for 5years,So DR.Eziza said my lover will come back to me soon,So really when the 48hour was completed my lover Frank called me and said he was sorry and that he was ready to make it up with me,Am so grateful to DR.Eziza,Please in-case you are in need of help you can contact him on is private mail:ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289

  • Dumez Gracy

    Hello every one i am Gracy Dumez a German citizen but with my family here i Canada, i had some problems in my marriage because thought i keep some secrets from him before we get married and i was unable to get pregnant because my husband hate it to sex with me that again develop to my filter problem but before we get married he so much love me and i love him as much so i decide to search for a solution on marriage site and from friends and i find so many spiritual doctors then i contacted three of them one after the other but they all disappointed me till my family seeks for divorce and he happily divorce me because he already find another lady. so while i was alone with pains i still look for solution every where till a meet with a friend of mine that just came from Germany then she direct me to this site where i read about great oshogumspelltemple@live.com on how he solve marriage, relationships, family , healing and so many testimony about him then me and my friend decide to contact despite i he told me about the materials that i must provide i just have to do all that he told me because of what other persons said about him. three days after we have done all he ask me to do, he said he have done everything i did not know how it will work because i could even contact my husband again he already block but i was so sup-rice Hashberg call our home line to ask of me. well we are happily married now with one kids but expecting another one soon. My dear contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com if you have any problem that give you pain. contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com today he is helpful and good

  • kate lam

    Hello, My name is kate lam, I live in South Carolina, USA, I recently had a breakup with my husband about 2 months back. He said we are done that we should move on that he has someone else now. I could not even bear the pain and everything and

    just so unfortunate, I discovered I was pregnant when me and my ex we going through some big fights. I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant because I knew he would blame it on me. I suffered with the secret on

    my own and I could not go through an abortion on my own. The funny thing is I discovered that he had two other girlfriends I was not aware of. I know if I could turn back the hands of time I would do it

    again because i could not suffer everything alone, I almost drop out of univesity because of a guy. On a faithful day after i lost of thought, an old friend told me about a spellcaster with this email

    dremuahelphome@outlook.com who could help me restore my love and have my baby in good terms. I sacrifice everything to make sure the spell was done. and the spell was now the savior. He spell brought

    back my lover after 2 days. My joy, love and happiness is restored because of this spell professor, my baby comes soon.

    you can also contact him if you have any of this problems below..

    (1) Spell for protection from danger

    (2) Spell for magic

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    (7) Spell to get a good job

    (8) Spell for strong love and relationship

    (9) Spell to bring your ex back

    (10) Spell for promotion at work

    This man has great powers and is incredibly generous.You can contact his on dremuahelphome@outlook.com or dremuahelphome@gmail.com you can call him on his mobile number +2348143101585 He can help you without stress try him today…

  • Gloribel Stancy

    Am very happy to tell every one to hear my testimony will say. am Gloribel Stancy from united state,am a nurse,this story of my love life.I have been married for 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i met a post where this man Dr. Ehi have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self.You can contact him with this email address {drudebhuluspelltemple@yahoo.com} or {drudebhuluspelltemple@gmail.com} or you can still call him on his mobile +2349038669448 Thank you Dr Ehi. I am sure he will do same to help you too.