8. Play Frisbee golf.
Don’t be intimidated by the guys (and it’s always guys) lugging custom bags equipped with dozens of discs. Frisbee golf is just an excuse to walk around in the woods and smoke dope. Sedgley Woods Disc Golf Course, 33rd and Oxford streets, sedgleywoods.org. Tyler State Park, 101 Swamp Road, Newtown, 215-968-2021, dcnr.state.pa.us/stateparks/parks/tyler.aspx. Anson B. Nixon Park, North Walnut Street, Kennett Square, 610-444-1416, ansonbnixonpark.org.
9. Read at a poetry slam.
Be young and sincere again. The Fuze at Infusion, 7133 Germantown Avenue, 215-248-1718, infusioncoffeeandtea.com. Dela Where?, Crimson Moon Tavern, 1909 West 6th Street, Wilmington, 302-654-9099.
10. Go on a scavenger hunt.
Watson Adventures offers tricky, challenging hunts focusing on local historical sites and museums, kid versions, bachelorette party versions, public hunts, customized private hunts, haunted house hunts, limo hunts … 877-9-GO-HUNT, watsonadventures.com.
11. Spring for the big bucket at a driving range.
Because putting’s for sissies. Burholme Golf Center, 401 Cottman Avenue, 215-742-2380, burholmegolf.com. The Golf Zone, 1020 Easton Road, Horsham, 215-674-9144, golfzoneproshops.com.
12. Fly a plane.
Your mortgage payments look so much smaller from up here. And it’s just $59 for your first lesson with Project Pilot, the learn-to-fly outreach initiative sponsored by the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association; find a school near you (there are more than 20 in the area) at flighttraining.aopa.org.
13. Punk someone.
Though Phils pitcher Kyle Kendrick (traded to Japan?!) may not agree, punking is good clean fun. Post a friend’s phone number in an Inquirer ad offering “Free black Lab puppies to good homes!” Or set up a MySpace or Facebook page for a friend who’s “too old for that crap.” (Bonus points for setting the page’s song to “Eye of the Tiger.”) And if your drinking buddy’s in rare form, sign him/her up for a karaoke toughie like “My Heart Will Go On” or “Dream On.” If all else fails: singing Gorilla-grams from The People’s Choice Entertainment, 215-368-8300, thepeopleschoice.biz.
14. Open a fire hydrant.
First thing: You gotta be in South Philly. Second thing: You gotta find the guy who’s got the wrench. It’s probably Vinnie’s wife’s cousin that used to work for the fire department. Once he opens the hydrant, start 10 or 12 feet away and then back up slowly until your butt is right up against the opening, creating an icy-cold sprinkler for all the neighbor kids to enjoy. Good times!
15. Walk your dog off-leash.
Let Rover roam at these parks where you’re likely to come across other leash-free spirits. But stick to the back trails; you’re not supposed to do this. Warwick County Park, 382 County Park Road, Pottstown, 610-469-1916, dsf.chesco.org/ccparks. Evansburg State Park, 851 Mayhall Road, Collegeville, 610-409-1150, dcnr.state.pa.us/stateparks/parks/evansburg.aspx. French Creek State Park, 843 Park Road, Elverson, 610-582-9680, dcnr.state.pa.us/stateparks/parks/frenchcreek.aspx. (Crabby rangers here, though.)