12 More State Laws Not Worth Defending

It’s high time we end the bans on singing in the bathtub and fishing with dynamite.

State attorney general Kathleen Kane, in a controversial move, announced she won’t defend the state in a federal lawsuit that challenges Pennsylvania’s ban on gay marriage. However, she has thusfar remained silent regarding her stance on the Pennsylvania law prohibiting the use of goldfish as bait, The Philly Post exclusively reports. Also unknown: Will she will defend the law that forbids ministers from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk (a condition that would nullify many of the unions The Philly Post has been a party to)?

Here are 12 more outdated or useless laws Pennsylvania needs to strike from the books:


1. It is a crime for a fortuneteller to tell where to dig for treasure. Additionally, a fortuneteller cannot charge money to try and shorten another’s life. So sad that fortunetellers need to keep this information to themselves.

2. A child’s bedroom may not be more than 200 feet from a bathtub or shower and a toilet.

3. An individual may not discharge or fire a paintball gun or paintball marker at a person who is not participating in paintball games or paintball-related recreational activities. Sounds like someone just couldn’t take a joke.

4. It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. By all means, bring a gift, but kindly leave your cannon at home.

5. In Pennsylvania, it’s illegal to use goldfish or koi as bait. Same goes for common carp or comets (a breed of goldfish). No word on trout, salmon, or any type of sushi or imitation crab.

6. You may not sing in the bathtub. Of course I’ve never done this, officer. Never in my life. I swear.

7. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. For all the fish, boom does not go the dynamite.

8. It is illegal to have more than 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. Sorority girls already had a bad rep, but now this?!

9. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. We doubt this is endorsed by the divorce lawyers’ lobby.

10. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. Surely men want to keep this trick for themselves.

11. Pennsylvania law prohibits people from sleeping on top of a refrigerator outdoors. Obviously, if you’re sleeping outdoors and have access to a refrigerator, you’re going to sleep inside the fridge. But safety first: prop the door open.

12. All liquor stores must be run by the state. Just saying …

 

  • Byron C Mayes

    Number 12 is just as ludicrous as the other 11. And just as necessary.

  • phillysportsfan

    1. fortune telling should be outlawed under fraud laws
    2. seems like a good idea

    3. ditto

    4. ditto

    5. not sure the reasoning, does seem silly

    6. ditto

    7.should be illegal as it’s very (too) effective

    8. sexist bs

    9. sounds good.

    10. sexist bs, also silly

    11. silly. wonder what the reasoning was behind this

    12. totally agree.

  • tk69

    What is needed is law nullification by juries. As an attorney she has to uphold the law. But, each law before a trial should be judged and be nullified upon the whim of a jury. THe answer is simple than one thinks.