The always snooping collar-poppers at Ivygate have unearthed a possible part-time professional sexer trolling amongst the deep-pocketed smart kids at Penn. Their evidence that the lady-for-hire is a Quaker comes from an ad on “exoticcourtesan.com” that proclaims “Eva is a new addition to the Philadelphia scene! A hot Italian spinner! She is currently a finance major at an Ivy League university.”

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The University of Pennsylvania’s athletic department is apparently trying desperately to further sanitize the Quakers’ already lily-white basketball fans: Administrators have requested that the team’s pep band stop playing the ubiquitous sporting event song “Rock and Roll (Part 2)” — you know: Duhhh-nuh-nuh-nuh … HEY! — to keep the not-so-raucous crowds from adding “You suck!” to the Gary Glitter ditty.

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The perils of being a 21st-century university president: A possibly deranged individual named “Blayney” has posted a couple of creepy paragraphs on his personal blog about Penn’s Amy Gutmann. From his writings, it emerges that the author is a Penn grad and former priest who now reads Penn’s alumni magazine, well, only to look for pictures of her:

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Penn President Dr. Amy Gutmann was named one of Glamour magazine’s “Women of the Year,” an honor bestowed upon “inspirational women who have made unprecedented contributions to the worlds of entertainment, business, sports, fashion, philanthropy, science/medicine, education and politics.” The issue hits newsstands November 13th and features 20 other women who fit Glamour’s criteria. Others include fellow Ivy League presidents Drew Faust of Harvard University, Shirley Tilghman of Princeton, and Brown’s Ruth Simmons; actress Jennifer Garner and poet Toni Morrison were also included. Yes, that’s Jennifer Garner.

The Mighty Dan Gross (second half of column) [DN]

PHOTO: Glamour Magazine